Just trying to get comfortable

It's a vicious circle.

I'm trying to find a doctor.

I'm trying to find a pain-less position.

Tried laying on the hard floor --kinda helps.

Tried laying on my springs since my mattress was awful and is going in the garbage this week.

Tried laying on the soft love seat I normally sleep on.

Tried sitting in my favorite chair.

Tried everything to no avail.

In today's 'green' times, my health insurance no longer sends out medical books with all of the doctors in our system, we must log on and find one.

I am in writhing pain every time I log on the computer and type.

But I must be on this computer to try and find a doctor.

Whatever happened to the good ole days when you killed a few trees but had a handy dandy packet of useful information at your fingertips and you could actually dial a phone number and talk to a real person?

It's still baseball season to me

Drama.

Major drama all week long with our health ailments. We're all walking wounded!

And for me, I'm in baseball season mode until the final game of the World Series.

But, it's been the longest time since I've been able to use my Cleveland Browns ticket so here goes.

I made my way to the Browns' Game, though in writhing pain.

It was fun walking down with a co-worker and her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. He was so excited but did not want to show it! Being the tough guy!

Thank God the weather was bearable.

And better still, I thank you God that they WON!

It was a good time. Seeing folks I've not seen in a while....perfect seats! And seeing a win, which is something I have not seen in months, maybe even years (in person!!).

I'm always amazed as I exit the stadium to make the trek back up the hill to my parking spot how so many people have to light up a cigarette the second they vacate the building. It's like walking into a smoking lounge. I've learned to hold my breath until I get back into the wide, open air. Holy smokes!

I must admit, my heart belongs to the Indians thru the end of October, but I'll have one eye on these guys wearing the Brown pants!

Happy Birthday, Sara!

I'm sensing the end of another tradition.

We used to go out for a special dinner for every one's birthday.

Honestly, with every one's busy schedules, that seemed to be the only time we all could gather each month, and it was nice.

Now, people feel that text messaging, tweeting, or leaving a greeting on Facebook is appropriate. Oh, how times are a changin'!

Well, today is my oldest niece's birthday and nothing has been planned.

She said she is helping someone move and had other plans all weekend long.

It's too bad. Mom really misses seeing all the kids. I hate to see the sadness and tears in her eyes each night as another day passes....

Hopefully one day soon Sara's schedule will clear out because Mom and I can not let a birthday go by without remembering and we have a special 'birthday bag' just waiting to be busted open!

Love, Us xoxo

If I did the right thing, why do I feel so bad?

I was always taught to do the right thing.

By golly, I try.

I know we are all human, but at the end of the day, I usually feel pretty good at the effort I've given and God's rules I've followed.

So, this week, I've done the right thing three times...but why do I feel so bad?

We all know I'm a softy.

People from all walks of life walk all over me constantly.

I have people telling me to stand up for what I believe in and in the next breath bad mouthing me behind my back because I DID stand up for my convictions.

Oh, this is absolutely nothing compared to what our Lord Jesus Christ endured.

But, I believe I've had a slight taste of it.

I had to say no to three people who mean very much to me.

The first one--it hurt me more than the person involved, and unfortunately, I think there will be reverberations for a while. What does it matter --I did the right thing and followed God's lead.

The second one--turned out ok eventually. I was being diplomatic following the rules and got screwed. I should have just followed my heart on this one and everyone would have been very happy.

The last one, the person could not believe that I actually said no to them. It felt good sticking up for what I believe in and doing the right thing. And honestly, it turned out great for all involved in the end.


That's what Mom always taught me --if you do the right thing honey, everything will turn out ok in the end.


And Mom's always right!

Socked with a Grady Sizemore foul ball

And to top it off, forgot to mention that Mom was hit by a Grady Sizemore foul ball this past weekend. And did not get the ball!

Can you believe that. First, that the schmuck who nabbed the ball did not have pity on this older lady. And then that some pompous, holier-than-thou Cleveland Indian Management flack tried to make sure she was not hurt badly so she would not sue or anything..and did not have the decency to run down and grab a foul ball for this huge baseball fan who never misses a game and who now has a huge black and blue mark on her elbow!

The walking wounded continue their quest.

It's a wonder I can type with my carpal tunnel, heart disease, pinched nerve damage -itis.

MASH unit

I'm not a doctor but I do play one in real life!

I missed my calling. But it is much easier to diagnose someone when you are with them 24/7.

So, best I can deduce is that the new medicine prescribed last week has, for lack of better words, 'poisoned' Mommacita.

Not gonna stand for this. We stopped taking it a few days ago to get it out of her system and am pumping her with fluids and sustenance.

This morning was awful.

This afternoon is better.

I 'prescribed' an antibiotic. Once we finally reached the doctor, so did he!

We're not out of the woods yet, but hopefully, on the road to recovery.


Now, unfortunately, I have to deal with all of this as my right arm, right shoulder and upper back are in constant writhing pain. You name, people are saying I've got it: nerve damage, carpal tunnel, heart attack, heart disease, pinched nerve, pulled muscles, herniated discs, the list is endless.

I just want the pain to end. I don't care what the heck it is.

Seeing old friends

(Mom, Me, Lydia)


I must admit, I have not gotten half the things I wanted to get done on this vacation.

It's tremendous not having to head into work.

Don't get me wrong--that's fabulous.

We still have doctors' appointments and such, but it's nice not having to rush around quite as much.

I've been able to enjoy meals with Mom, which has been a treat.

When I picked up my Browns' tickets, I visited with a friend I had not seen in quite a while. That was a special afternoon.

We've enjoyed most of the Indians' games. Mom was tired a few nights, especially after starting on some new medication, so we had to pass on some of the Indians' games, a family birthday party and a few other events....

Unfortunately, it's still been quite crazed.

I have not had a chance to call back a dear friend of mine from FLA all week long. I think he thinks I'm avoiding him. That's just the way of our world now. We don't have the luxury to sit around and do nothing. There is always something that must be done, must be tended to, an appointment of some kind to hit.


Mom and I were able to visit with a dear, dear friend of ours who we have not seen in at least 8 months. What a treat! She's a former co-worker but more like a sister to me. And she just adores Mom. She would do anything for her, and has!


Life is very hard. And being finite humans, all we can do is try to be the best people we can day in and day out. Each day, we get up, thank God for another day and try to make the best decisions we can for that day with what information and ingredients are tossed our way.


The 'old Danielle' would have been upset at not crossing off more from the 'to-do' list. But the new Danielle is quite content at what was accomplished and how life was lived this week.


Thank you Jesus!

Thrown for a loop

I really was anticipating bad news today with Mom's doctor appointment.

She felt great but this particular doctor more cautious than the rest.

Thank goodness I am on vacation because what began as a follow up appointment for a new script turned into a 2 hour marathon appointment with breathing tests and lots of 'fun' stuff.

Amazing.

The Doctor is 'amazed' with Mom's progress.

We've been working hard and she has been feeling good....but never assume anything.


So off we went to celebrate at the Olive Garden. It's great not to have deadlines and obligations and just flit around doing what you want when you want.


We had a fabulous lunch, then time for a nap just before we hit the Indians' Game.


AAAHHHH, the life! I could get used to this. And I hope there are many, many more of these days...

"Feast" ing with Mom

I honestly did not realize this factoid, but Mom says she has not been to the Feast of the Assumption in Little Italy in years!

And she is correct.

For a few years when she was recuperating from surgeries and pneumonia, she did not attend.

And then for a few years, she felt much better but was not sure she could negotiate around the masses scurrying around Murray Hill.

We decided she could not miss one more year of one of our favorite events, pastimes, traditions.

In years gone by, the whole family would head down there, walk around, usually see folks we knew, maybe even play one of those silly carnival games trying to win a fish or an over sized stuffed animal, and most importantly, feast on tremendous home-made Italian food.

Well, it's too bad, those days are gone. Gone for some, but not for me. I'm too much of a romantic, a traditionalist, and thoroughly enjoy the simple things, especially when experienced with loved ones, dear friends, and family.

I am determined never to let this tradition go up in flames as so many others have.

Mom and I carefully maneuvered around Little Italy with her transportation aid taking in the savory scents, the beautiful sights, and familiar sounds.

We always light some candles, every little bit is worth a try!

I showed Mom the new restaurants, Corbo's new digs, Spuzzillo's, and introduced her to one of my business contacts, Tom, who works the Feast each year.

As in years passed, we arrived armed with bags and containers for dinner....from cavatelli, meatballs, sausage, fried mozzarella, eggplant, cannoli, elephant ears, funnel cakes, lemon ice, the works!

What a memorable afternoon and dinner with Mom. Absolutely PRICELESS!

Scott & Bruno come to town

I was moved and humbled to be included in a shindig for Scott and Bruno as they hit the states.


I just have the most endearing memories from my college days and anytime I am able to see a few former classmates is a wonderful experience.


Either I am getting older and just don't care about accomplishments or facades anymore or I am getting settled in with 'me.' I think it's both but the latter outweighs the former.


My first day of vacation, and still, a bit rushed and tense at times. That's my life.


Vacation does not mean vacation. I have obligations and priorities every single day which no one else assists me.


Overall, a good day.


I felt confident about the music I am singing all weekend and got to steal away for a few moments to practice.


Then, when everything was under control at home, I was finally able to hit the road for a college gathering for a very dear friend.


Scott and Bruno are in town from Lisbon, Portugal hitting as many towns as they can visiting with as many friends as possible.


And as I mentioned before, I did not have the normal anxious feeling that usually accompanies me with seeing friends I have not seen recently or when venturing somewhere I have not been in a while.


It was just me forging ahead to visit with a dear friend and who else showed up, what they thought of me, or being afraid to initiate conversations went right out the window this time.


An absolutely fabulous event--great conversation, much of which I was a part of, delicious food, and a heavenly forecast (except for those pesky mosquitoes which have bit me up).


Jamie and Lori out did themselves by welcoming us all into their home, sharing their beautiful gardens, the ambiance, and re-uniting a number of classmates who had not seen each other in a while but started up exactly where they left off.


Unfortunately, my computer will not let me upload pictures to my blog, but hopefully if you CLICK HERE, you can see some of the pictures from this great confab!!!!



This is the 2nd gathering I've had this year with school mates where it did not matter what I did, where I worked, how many awards I've won, what kind of car I drove, or what I was wearing. And frankly, I loved it!

It's 'adult' Smoothie time!!!

All I can say is what a great feeling to type in your 'out of office' memo that you will not be back into the office for 10 days!

Pinch me!

Oh, we will be around and have a long, loooooong list of 'to-do's' that may or may not get crossed off.

But the simple fact that I have a few extra hours to clean my kitchen floor if I choose OR just lay out in the sun for an hour or maybe even take an afternoon nap. What a dream come true.

You all may get updates. . .or not.

I'm gonna let the spirit move me wherever the wind blows. . .

For now, it's 'adult' Smoothie time my friends! And in my hot little hand is one of the best Smoothies I've ever made with Minute Maid Pomegranate and Blueberry juice, ice, and mango chunks. You can choose the 'adult' beverage of your choice to add and stir and don't forget your little umbrella!!!!

Cheers!

What's your sign?

I've always enjoyed perusing the daily horoscope.

I must admit, I'm middle of the road.

I'm more than a casual follower but I do not know the inner workings of each horoscope such as each date to date, temperament of each sign, parameters or history.

Depending on which paper or online publication you read, some appear authentic while many of them have pretty much the same vision for each sign, the same rating, if not exact wording in every single listing.

My Facebook horoscope was in-depth, detailed, and spot on down to my 'color.'

One of the newspaper listings was a bit more precise and personalized than your normal generic vision.

Mine sounded hopeful so I'll take it: "It's been an interesting year so far. And it's bound to get that much more exciting. There's nothing but good news coming in the immediate future, so enjoy it.'


Now, I'm a bit suspect about this because I've been feeling quite under the weather this week including an awful episode at work today....but hopefully, the horoscope fairy knows better!


Some of the other ones were a bit humdrum and generic, and honestly TOO personalized. At the end of the day, the real detailed ones did not happen so you just move on. I tend to gravitate to those horoscopes that give hope and inspiration to strive for the best and over achieve.


One that appeared a bit negative, yet gave a great bit of advice in the end could be words to live by for all of us, regardless of our sign.

Taurus: "Lashing out at a loved one when he or she expresses an opinion will lead to trouble. Rather, listen with an open mind, and choose your response carefully."


There's usually some underlying lesson, regardless of which sign you are.

I look at my horoscope as a 'daily fortune cookie' that hopefully will inspire, pump up, and shed some light on how I can live my life even better day by day!

Felt all grown up & saw how the other half live

We recently had dinner with a terrific family.

Everything was perfect: the ambiance, the conversation, the food, the weather, right down to the little dachshund running around trying to get snacks and love taps.

They asked what we wanted to drink.

Now, normally in our family, the replies are diet pepsi, lemonade, diet mountain dew, maybe a beer....

The offers were nothing but alcohol: gin, vodka, whiskey, a number of wines....this was pre-dinner cocktails. Then of course you had wine with dinner and the after dinner drink or espresso.

My kind of people. More of what I am used to (or should say what 'used to happen' when I was in college and then actually ventured out in my early years before responsibility hit).


I always dreamed of having these huge dinner parties at my house, with a stocked bar, making a fabulous dinner. Inviting folks over who could get a taste of me by the artwork hanging on my walls, the music in my music studio, my reading interests in my library.....


Actually, I am lucky and so blessed. Our house is set up with our interests at heart--our likes, loves and that 'home feeling' rather than just 'a house.'


When life tosses you lemons, you make lemonade. We're doing just fine. Maybe life is not exactly the way we want it all the time. BUT, we are quite lucky in the fact that we have friends to help us round out our life and make it complete where we are lacking!!!

Afraid of what?

It's hard to believe, but I think I recently found someone afraid of Mom....or maybe I should say I just became aware that this person is 'ill at ease.' A few characteristics appear to be: sneaking around, lack of communication, afraid to confab.

WOW. Amazing, because 99.9% of the folks who know Mom adore her.

She's a legend and one of the most caring people you could ever know.

Let's face it, as people get older, they get some quirks. That is with ALL older people rising up that ladder. They speak louder when you wish they were whispering or just blurt out something you were thinking yourself. I kinda like that spirit, am amused, and have tried to grasp onto that fire in my 'young' age!!! Never too early to start living life to the fullest and making a name for yourself.

And, I know, I'm sure Mom is no saint. NONE of us are. I believe Jesus said "those of you without sin cast the first stone."

Everywhere she goes. I mean everywhere.

Her many travels across the U.S. --just this year alone she was treated as a queen in Pittsburgh, Chautauqua, always at Progressive Field and the Terrace Club, her doctors and nurses and techs, friends at Church, strangers she meets in the street...last year even at Yankee Stadium. Can you believe it, Yankee Stadium. She was treated like a Queen at YANKEE STADIUM!! Hoy!!

And her uncanny memory to remember peoples' names. You can go to a restaurant and, even if the waiter does not have a name tag on, she will say, "Mark, can you please tell me what the special is again honey?" Well, to say the least, Mark is immediately smitten!

One step further, everywhere I go, the first question I am asked, "How is your Mom? Please tell her hello and give her a big hug!!" Even my intern who has never met Mom has become endeared to her by speaking with her on the phone and hearing the conversations I have with her. Says a lot about this woman.

I go back to college, I attend a high school gathering, at work, oh at work everyday someone new is asking about her, at the Masses I sing where she is not because she's already gone....

Heck, one of my dearest friends from College, Jimmie, calls and has a 1/2 hour conversation with Mommacita and then talks to me as an afterthought! I love it!

Well, so be it. If I've learned something over the last 12 years which has been an eye-opening episode of my existence, it is life is too short to walk around on egg shells, try to please everyone, and always be the most popular. Jesus was mocked because he did the right thing. As long as we try to follow in Jesus' footsteps and be the people he wants us to be, let those 'fringers' think what they will. In the end it will all work out for the best.

Let's face it people. If 4999 people are in love with something or someone and 1 person is against, well, you make the call!!

It all became clear emptying the ice machine

We have an overactive ice machine.

It's great. Never lacking the 3 essentials-cold water, ice cubes, or crushed ice. What's your pleasure?

Living the dream, let me tell you.

As I was doing my daily ritual of tossing the huge 'melded together' slab of ice and leveling the rest of the keeper off, it all became so clear.


For the longest time, I felt as if I'd become a failure.

Let's face it, my current lot in life was thrust on me. Though I welcome the responsibility everyday with willing and open arms (and heck, if I did not step up to the plate, who knows what would have happened), 10 years ago, never in a million years would I had imagined the twist my life would take.

Then it dawned on me as ice was falling everywhere during my daily grind at the freezer.

I am no failure. In fact, I am far superior to most. And very proud of it.

If I sound cocky, so be it. I know every person on this earth has their hardships, their challenges, their disappointments, trials and tribulations. But honestly, I bet not many could do what I do as well as I do it. Maybe that's why, after so far along in the game, I'd rather handle the task at hand solo.

It's a vicious cycle --when no one dove in at the beginning of this journey I figured I was on my own. Still no one took a vested interest. And the few times I did ask for assistance, I was sorely disappointed. It's that old adage, if you want something done right, do it yourself.

I'm still cringing at the time someone used the wrong cream .....well, you can use your imagination on this mishap......


Most of the people I know are either single .....married with no kids.....married with kids BUT they have a male or female spouse and a HUGE supporting cast of sisters/brothers/nieces/nephews/aunts/uncles/mother or father-in-laws.....and no other care giving responsibilities.

One of my dearest friends has 'he and he alone' with his job, his apartment, his car and that's it.

I'm sure he has his share of complexities and challenges. I pray for him everyday.

I feel much more confident that I am not and never was a failure because I can not clean my kitchen floor, wash down the bathrooms on a regular basis, weed the yard, paint the bottom of the garage, fill the HUGE crevices in the garage where the bricks have crumbled (soon the entire garage will crumble), keep up with the laundry, vacuum on a regular basis, replace the front screen door (which the landlord busted), replace the back door stopper, replace numerous light bulbs around the house including the garage, install a few new door knobs which have loosened, put up a few more railings, read a book let alone a paragraph, find a doctor .....or work out every single day.


It's amazing what I DO accomplish on a daily basis by doing what everyone does AND factor in the caregiver title.


Never again will I feel like a failure. I thank God for his assistance and walk tall and proud, head held high knowing I'm giving my all, I will have no regrets in life, I try to do the best I can everyday and be the best...and that God never makes mistakes. He assigned this job to the correct person who is honored and humbled by his choice.

Re-birth of a friendship

I am pleased as punch to have been able to steal away a few weeks ago with 5 of my best college friends....

I learned a lot that weekend.....

I was rejuvenated during our time together.

And marvelous friendships from nearly 30 years ago were reborn.

For me, and I say 'for me' because everyone has their opinion about pretty much everything in life (and unfortunately, most of the folks I know try to force their opinions and beliefs on me).

But, for me, I don't have a heck of a lot of time. I never want to use the excuse "I don't have time for you." I think that's lame.

But I don't have a lot of time.

And, when time is precious, you carefully pick and choose those friends and even family members you want to spend quality time with and those relationships you want to further nurture.

I hate going back to this example again, but it's perfect.

My sister thought it would be good for my father to enter my life again. Without going into the whole sordid story, I'm not too keen on the idea. Who knows, maybe one day. But at this juncture in my life, it's not going to happen. He is not a part of my history and I do not feel anything toward him whatsoever. I would much rather spend what little free time I have with dear friends such as Melanie, Terry, Jim, Dale, and Tim who I love unconditionally and boundlessly.

My prerogative. My preference.

I have a great sense of people.

And, I cherish those friends I have where you may not have seen them in days, months or years but the second you see them, it's like you were never apart.

That's the feeling I get with my college buddies.

Simply heavenly. Perfection!

And I truly believe our weekend together has cemented our friendships even more.

I've pretty much spoken to all of them since that weekend.

In fact, one of my dearest friends called me last night and we spoke for quite a while. Today we texted.

God works in mysterious ways and he certainly has given me my dearest friends back with this 're-birth' of these precious friendships....

Thank you, God!

Down for the count

Those darn allergies have got my goat!!

Talk to you all in a few days when I can see the keyboard again and pound out some legible ramblings.....

Have a great weekend and stay cool!

Are those new glasses?

Actually they are fairly new.

I had not been to the eye doctor in a few years (still trying to get to the real doctor after 4 years of absence) and found a small nugget of time I could steal away.

Got new contacts and new, very cool glasses.

However, since I wear my contacts most of the time, whenever I pull out the orange and purple specs, I'm incessantly asked, 'are those new?'

Well, the more I wear the glasses, the more I am convinced my glasses are stronger than my contacts, and too strong for my liking.

Today wearing my contacts is not even an option.

It's hell having allergies. I've had them my whole life so I have no idea what it is like to live normally --without the runny nose, scratchy throat and burning eyes.

Certain times of the year are worse than others.....subject to certain surroundings and circumstances can spur them on.....and hot, humid weather (which I do like) is deadly.

Eyes puff up, stay sealed shut, and excrete some foreign substance.

Not a pleasing vision.

I'd rather be comfy rather than the fashion plate I normally am (ha ha), especially during the 'dog daze of summer.'

The plumber arrived early

What?

We needed a plumber to fix our downstairs bathroom sink.

And he gave us an estimated time of arrival and then showed up EARLY because he knew we had another appointment and had no idea how long his next job would take.

Did I hear that right?

He actually charged us something we could afford and pay for on the spot.

Did I hear that right?

Is this just a ruse where the next time we call him he'll rear his ugly little 'contractor' head and we'll be back to normal with those 'fixer up it' types?!?!?

Well for now, I think we have a keeper!

Map it out

I take pride in my organizational skills, choreography, and gift at spending money!

It is a special gift, a flare that one takes quite seriously!

This week seems busier than most, and believe it or not, no doctors' appointments!

So in 'Danielle fashion,' I make a list. I'm always making lists so I can cross items off the list and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

Up early....stop watch is set.....countdown is on.....3-2-1.


In 2 hours, including driving time, I managed to hit 5 errands.


I really do thrive on knowing the quickest route, forming an efficient plan and tackling it.

I had birthday gifts, thank you gifts, going away gifts, cards galore, shower favors, and a special treat for Mom in my sights.....with time to spare to wrap everything and move on to my next task.

Oh, the satisfaction and a job well done, everything crossed off the to-do list, and all in the midst of a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L Cleveland summer day!


Thank you God!

The fans come through yet again

Amidst one of the most emotional weeks in Cleveland Indians' Baseball history, the fans, yet again, prove why Cleveland sports fans are the best in the world.

I'm not going to rehash the events of this week.

Disappointing, sad, maddening, unbelievable, mind boggling come to mind as just a few adjectives to describe fans' wave of emotions.

Through it all, almost 5,000 fans WALKED UP to the gate tonight to buy tickets for the Indians' game....and there were nearly 33,000 folks on hand.

Yes, I was there. I may be very upset with the management team, but I will never give up on my boys, ever.

One saving grace was having a familiar and friendly face on hand to help us through. Sandy Alomar, Jr. came back into town to be inducted into the Cleveland Indians Hall of Fame along with Wes Ferrell, Bill Veeck, and Dick Jacobs.

Sandy.

He should still be in the Cleveland Indians' organization, and hopefully one day, he will again.

The fans gave him a rousing round of applause every time his name was mentioned, when he made the trek from the Indians' bullpen to the pitchers' mound and then when he made the ride in a convertible greeting the faithful fans.

It was sooooo good to see an old friend in the midst of a week when we lost too many good ole comrades.

The Indians front office should be bending over backwards for the best fans in the world. When will they realize just what they have before it is too late?

Thank you, Sandy, for helping us through this ugly turn of events and please come back soon!