Long and wonderful legacy

I attended the wake of a man I never knew today.

Yet, just by walking into the funeral home, I could tell he lead a meaningful, giving life with a long and wonderful legacy.

I know one of his children and 2 of his grandchildren.

By the end of the wake, I had met all 9 of his children and their spouses and children and other family members.

He has left lasting memories for so many years to come through his family, friends, and every single person he has touched through his 75 years of life on this earth.

Being Catholic, I've grown up with a rich, spiritual upbringing and have attended wakes and funerals my entire life.

I am ok with death, for the most part, knowing that even though we may selfishly miss our loved ones, they are in a much better place just waiting for us to eventually join them in due time.

Standing in the 'greeting line' today, it finally dawned on me why my friends with so many siblings look at me quizzically when I tell them all I have to do for my parent. My friends with large families never had to do it all.

When my friend Lydia's sister was dying of cancer, all of her siblings, many many nieces and nephews, cousins, elderly parents and so many more took turns being with her sister so she was never alone, took care of her sister's family, and were a huge support group to help each other cope with their situation.

Even though they were in the midst of a horrendous situation, I thanked God that they had such a large, loving family and extended family.

Each step I took in line, every floral arrangement I passed, and each picture memory montage I glanced through made me realize how really alone I am in this labor of love God has bestowed on me.

I started feeling so overwhelmed for when my parent passes away.

But then something my grandfather said quickly put a little smile on my face, "if you did not visit me or bring flowers to me when I was alive, don't bring them to me when I'm dead!" I never knew my grandfather but have heard my uncles say that phrase time and time again.

I know God and every family member who went before me will give me the strength to endure whatever happens in this life. I will handle it. What I don't think I can tolerate or handle: people who never paid any attention to us during life all of a sudden crying their eyes out.

My sister is lucky. She has children who will console her, and one day, if she ever gets ill, will take care of her.

God has not given me the gift of children or a husband, and honestly, at this stage in my life, probably never will.

But, I firmly believe God will provide, will never abandon me, and will be by my side always!