Euphoria

I would have died for my Mother. I would have endured all the pain and suffering she had the last years of her life in a heartbeat if I could have switched places with her. I hope with the way Mom raised me & my home training I would do the same for any family member of mine, and I hope good friend...or really anyone who needed my help.

Well, today, I realized I think I really do know what loving someone feels like (besides a family member).

I have a dear friend who had a bone marrow transplant today. He and his family ARE family to me. For the first time in a long time I realize how important someone is to me, how much I love them, and can not even imagine them not being around.

When word started trickling back that my friend made it through his operation with flying colors and was feeling strong, I could have soared or leapt over the tallest downtown Cleveland skyscrapers. Nothing could have snuffed out my happiness, yet I did not believe that happiness could become euphoria. Think again.

I can not even believe I was able to contain myself for the rest of my shift, the rest of the day. My cell phone text jingle went off. Having absolutely no clue who was texting me, I took a glance.

My eyes opened up as big as shiny silver wheels on a spiffy souped up sports car as I read the text from my friend, who had just endured surgery. "Thanks Daniella....everything's going well...it was an incredible day."

I burst into tears of joy, could not sit down for the rest of my shift and just raised my eyes up to Heaven thanking God that he'd given me the gift of not only friends, but love. Some never really experience the love of others or loving someone else let alone being surrounded their whole lives by family and friends.

I've got it all!

Interesting April

Yes, my friends. I am quite behind on updating and posting my blog entries.

Turns out, my computer is not properly configured so I can write my entries but can not post them, at this time. Work in progress, high priority assignment!

I've been stockpiling posts and then need to activate from another computer.

Just imagine if I actually knew the ins and outs of a computer, I could actually think about using it as a second career?!?!

We experienced quite an interesting March and April to say the least.

As you may know, a dear friend was in town both months nursing a hernia and then a broken foot. He had strict orders not to fly back to the land of sunshine. Bittersweet times. Loved having him back, but not so much under those horrendous circumstances. I believe we made the best of it and did get to spend quality time together catching up and sharing new experiences.

If he did not believe I've changed since Mom's death, he does now. Just because a person does not physically change does not mean they don't grow and mature mentally and emotionally or change their spin on life after a traumatic experience. I believe, with many of the demands placed on both of us, we saw how we've grown over the last few years--especially the night his Mother's washing mashine overflowed and jammed up and I was the only person who could venture downstairs to solve the problem. Amazement radiated from his eyes seeing my calm, cool, and collected demeanor in solving this problem with a smile on my face. I must admit, I had a little coaching and help from Mom on how to "Macgyver" the problem. And it worked!

He returned to FLA just after Easter. I still stand by my feelings that he being home to spend time with his Mother on her 87th birthday as well as Easter for the 1st time in 6 years was a blessing in disguise.

Lent and the anniversary of Uncle Bill's death also brought much family time.....which was enriching and welcome.

Lucky to enjoy many family dinners, whether at my sister's or Muldoon's before we saw my nephew perform out in Collinwood, or after Uncle Bill's Mass. Auntie ventured over to help me cook all of our Easter family traditions! After she left, for some reason, I continued going crazy and baked waaaay too much! I could not stop baking, which made my family, friends, and co-workers very very happy!

Maybe I was letting off steam missing Mom so much more this year for some reason than last year. I don't understand how everything this year has been so much harder than the 1st year she was gone. But, you can't question it, just deal with it and try to proceed as best as possible.

This Easter (straying from tradition), coupled with the fact that my ill friend would be leaving a few days after Easter put me out of sorts. I knew I probably would not see my friend Craig for the rest of 2011 and that didn't quite sit well with me.

Also, due to circumstances beyond my control, no one came over to Mass at my church or heard me sing.....and our Sunday dinner changed a smidge. I know I have to roll with the punches but everything landing on my shoulders overwhelmed me....

God has a way of honing me back in, and thankfully, he did.

And so did my Cleveland Indians. Thank goodness we are in the midst of baseball season. My 1 vice, my one extravaganza, my one obsession that always calms me down (even when they lose) and brings me back to a peace-filled existence.

At month's end, after my friend safely arrived back in FLA and I was an overstuffed Kolachy, the universe began aligning again and all was right with the world!

No man is an island

Yes, I just "borrowed" that line.

Wish I would have coined it myself.

I'm torn on this mentality.

I prefer being self-sufficient and accomplishing tasks myself. Gives me quite a sense of satisfaction. Plus, oftentimes if someone helps you, 'certain' people hold that assist over your head indefinitely, infinity plus.

As you start climbing the ladder of life, history comes in flashbacks...you see a person or group of people or even just a photo of them and are transported back in time to that era.

And with age and maturity, you realize that these people in your past actually helped form you and pave the way to your future.

Without each and every one of them, you'd be boring, one dimensional, and a stranger to whom you know and love.

Some of us are lucky enough to keep those influential people near and dear to our hearts in our lives always.

Facebook acts as a tool to better allow us to re-connect with those special someones...

I'm quite blessed to still have people in my life I've known from birth, kindergarten, grade school, high school, college, and my professional career. God has been good to me.


A three day blitz opened the floodgates to my history--all good!

I attended the 2011 Beaumont Distinguished Alumnae Award luncheon which bridged my past and present. Two women who were at Beaumont with me received awards....faculty who taught me were in attendance....a woman I used to work with has joined the Beaumont family....and then a lovely woman in my life currently also received the honor. Joan and Mom were very good friends. Because of their friendship, I've since become good friends with she and her family, who actually invited Mom and I to Chautauqua a few years back. What a tremendous time.

I'm amazed at how life goes full circle time and time again, and more often than not, we are all connected in some way or have all crossed paths.


After the Beaumont extravaganza, I had the honor of being invited to a fantastic surprise birthday shindig--for the husband of a friend of mine. We were destined to be friends. Renee and I have known each other for eons but HOW we know each other and how many times our lives have criss crossed is the true tell tale sign our friendship will last. Renee and I worked at the same places.....I worked with her ex-husband....I've known 1 of her children forever....and then we have the college tie as she was alumni director at my alma mater for a number of years....we work together today--she as media relations specialist and I as a member of the media.

At her husband's party, I re-connected with another former co-worker of mine I've know for at least 25 years now. We picked up where we left off having a sense of familiarity. I had a very nice conversation with his wife, a new friend, and can tell that we will all continue being forever friends.


Then, if that was not enough.

I ran into my hero, my mentor, of all places --my office lunchroom

The woman who gave me my first internship is doing a project for my station. I could not believe my eyes as I saw her standing in the lunchroom. I will be ever indebted to Jane for not only giving me my first chance in this business but for being one of the best female role models of all time. To this day, Jane is a front runner with a skill level at her craft towering above all the rest. She is a brilliant producer, writer, director, editor --you name it, she does it!

Jane proves that women can do anything. You can stick to your convictions, never compromise your beliefs and integrity and still get the job done. She's a fireball who, to this day, is the hippest lady I know!


Yes, I'd love to believe that I can move mountains by myself, that I'm super woman and don't need anyone else. But looking back at my rich history and the thousands if not millions of people who have entered my life having a life-changing effect on me, I welcome company. I yearn for assistance to help me continue my evolution. I need to feel needed.

I don't want to live on this island alone.

What does God have in store for 2011?

Looking back at 2010 still amazes me. Never in a million years did I ever imagine more than half of the shenanigans dancing into my life.

2010 was a mixture of still grieving Mom immensely, which unfortunately will be the lot for the rest of my life....intermixed with more sadness as Uncle Bill passed away....however, as Mom echoes in my head daily, God is good.

God and Mom brought me much happiness from my family and friends, especially old friends who re-entered my life.

My trip to the OBX with my best college friends reassured me that I am loved and am not alone in this world. Definitely just what the doctor ordered, though the wild horses eluded us :(

Uncle Bill actually waited for me to come home before passing away....the day I arrived home and visited him with the hummingbird wind chime I brought home, he knew who I was, got that great smile he always made and thanked me for his gift. I miss him so, but I'm sure nothing compared to how much Auntie misses him.

After handling Mom's funeral just 6 months before, when he passed, my family was great in swinging into action to handle everything for Auntie. Being friends with the funeral director, I immediately called Kevin on his cell phone and set the wheels in motion. Such a wonderful time looking through old pictures as we put picture walls together. Though a sad time, it brought about tons of laughter, which is one of the greatest gifts Uncle Bill always shared with us.

The day of Uncle Bill's funeral, I left the church and saw everyone weeping pointing at the hearse. I couldn't even imagine. As I got closer I realized everyone was half laughing, half crying as a squirrel danced around under the hearse. Uncle Bill always fed the birds and squirrels and this truly was a sign that he was there and would be there with us forever. Even today, as I walk to and from church, I see that same crazy squirrel (Uncle Bill) taunting me!

Cleveland Indians' baseball played a huge role--really saving me on those days I didn't want to be here. I know it's hard for people who don't like baseball to comprehend how I feel about this sport, and more importantly Cleveland Indians' baseball. It's a part of me, my life. My guys pulled me out from the bottom of the well time and time again. Without baseball, I'd be a vine that shrivels up and dies. I guess it is an expensive habit, but seeing it's really the only thing I do, and how it saved my life in 2010, it's well worth the cost. A habit I am not ready to give up. Baseball allowed me to visit my best friend in Tampa, Florida and share a day of baseball with our entire family and close friends in a loge at Progressive Field. When I think back at what makes me who I am and what brings tears of joy to my eyes--family, close friends, singing, and Cleveland Indians' baseball. And when family & friends are intertwined with Cleveland Indians baseball, I'm walking on air!

I re-connected with grade school friends, who once again, gave me a reason to continue onward..... I can not even put into words how Susie, Sheila, Teresa, Johnny, and Sal brought me back to my roots and made me remember what is truly important in life. They were excited to see me and liked me for me--not who I've become, what I do, who I know, what kind of car I drive or even how many pounds I've packed on since our grade school days. I will be ever indebted to all of their friendships and how they grasped me out of oblivion.

What's even more chilling--the wonderful stories every single friend of mine has about my Mom. I never knew that she touched so many people's lives, but she did making me love her even more, if that's even possible, and really giving me the oomph to try and emulate her as much as I can.

There is one friend in particular who really brought me back to life. I always think of the line in "While you were sleeping" which says 'I may have saved your life that day, but you really saved mine....' and that is exactly the way I feel about this wonderful human being. They finally energized me to take down my Christmas decorations May 16, 2010 and start living again....

The summer was magical and nothing I'd ever imagined.....the entire year really one big fantasy dream....

The people I re-connected with and have been able to keep in touch with mind blowing.

I still can not even believe I made a 2nd trip to Tampa to visit my friend Craig but also see the Cleveland Browns' away opener.

An emotional time for me (well, honestly, when wasn't I emotional in 2010?) was Mom's birthday. I remember it as if it were yesterday. My schedule had changed at work for a few days...and when I was not at work I was glued to the television watching the Chilean Miners being rescued --on Mom's birthday. Call me crazy, but I honestly believe Mom had something to do with that miracle. I never put anything past my Mother.

When my family gathered for the 1 year anniversary of Mom's death, she did it to us again. As we sat in Trattoria in Little Italy, a rainbow sat right above our restaurant and the text messages started coming in from friends saying Mom was talking to us all. Thank you Mom!

Winding up the year, yet more baseball stuff as I hit SnowDays and had the most amazing time in my home away from home! I can not believe I had the guts to go down the Batterhorn twice and then skated for the next 3 hours. Again, when baseball, family, and my best friends are involved, I'm happiest.

Mom would always say "God is good." As well as: live life to the fullest....don't worry about what you have no control over....God will always provide.....

Being me, I'm trying to figure out what will happen in 2011 and doubting that it could ever top 2010. But Mom brings me back. I have no clue what God has in store for me or any of us....but you can be sure, it will be one hell of an adventure. And if I put total trust in Him, live life to the fullest following in God and Mom's footsteps, not only will it be as good as 2010 but surpass it at warped speed!

Saw 'the social network' with a fb re-connection

I've been very blessed to continue catching up with family and friends even though summer is winding down...

You all know my mantra--life is too short....live each day as if it were your last and cherish your family and friends each and every day.

Quite the irony this past weekend as I took in 'the social network' with a college friend who I re-connected with on facebook. Go figure! It was awesome. And then both of us got home from the movie and the first thing we did simultaneously was log onto facebook.

Creatures of habit I guess.

Seriously, the movie was very entertaining, well directed, written, acted out --pretty much well 'everything!'

Regardless of the drama and story behind how this social media giant came to be, it's a very good tool for re-connecting. That's mainly why I use it.

I do not have enough hours in the day as it is to successfully live my life. I am not going to waste the precious hours I do have by playing games on facebook or any area of the Internet. I do like that I've re-connected with grade school, high school, college friends, and former co-workers.

That aspect quite the serendipity for me!

Sharing meals is fun!

I've been so blessed this week to be able to see people I've not seen in years and share a meal with those who are important to me.

It's been awesome, surreal, yet exhausting.

I brought it on myself because I wanted to spend quality time with so many folks.

The spinning wheel began with my Aunt and I skipping out to dinner at Maggianos. What a great deal. You buy a meal and get a 2nd one for free to take home for the next day. Well my Aunt, who eats like a bird, pretty much had her meals lined up for the rest of the week. Me, not so much but I did ok!

I saw my nephew and his roommate, even though for a fleeting moment! It made my night!

I shared a cocktail with one of my dearest friends who I don't see as much as I'd like but I hope she certainly knows she is near and dear to my heart. Honestly, Monina is now one of our medical contacts so I do see her more than I'm used to as she brings guests into the station for various shows!

I also met in my neck of the woods with another contact of mine who I speak with on the phone but have not seen in eons. Susan and I really had a wonderful evening catching up, just sharing information, and exchanging thoughts away from beepers or cell phones, if only for a little while!

I actually met one of my facebook friends for the first time, though we've spoken on the phone and in message form. Alexis and one of her friends met me at the Indians' game. Honestly, it was like we'd known each other all of our lives. What a nice treat to make a few new friends!


And the grand finale puts a huge smile on my face. I met an old friend of mine for dinner and then a movie. Kathy and I were interns at WEWS 25 years ago. I can not believe we have maintained our friendship, but we have! And, again, it was like we picked up where we left off without skipping a beat! What a fantastic evening catching up, sharing very deep thoughts & life experiences.

We talked all night long. Even after the movie, we stood in the parking lot still yakking!


I am very lucky and blessed to be surrounded by friends.

At times I don't believe I have a bf or even a bff, but maybe one day that will come.

For now, I just thank God for the memories and the people he has put into my life over the years. I'm one lucky girl.

Shoeless was NOT going to stop me

You'd never know I was as old as my birth certificate says.

I don't feel that age.

I hang with younger kids.

I'm told I don't look that #.

And I've been carded at least 4 times over the summer. Whew hoo!

Thank you, Mom. That is one of many attributes and gifts you have given me and I so love you for it.

I had the honor of attending the Indians' game with 2 co-workers who realistically could be my daughters. But, I just have the best time whenever we go out.

I hope they have the same fun times.

Carrie and Caitlin are a hoot and we had just a crazy time.


Again, the folks in front of us totally eavesdropping on all of our conversations.



And they were enamored with the blond girls in my company. I am not blond. I'm ok with that fact! I kinda like my dark, Italian hair with my light blue eyes.

I must admit, I can not believe how I can still partake of the adult beverages.

After the game and great fireworks show put to music (where we screamed the lyrics at the top of our lungs), we met up with Bethany and her friends. Yet, more laughs and memory-making.


Now, in the midst of the fun and frivolity, my flip flop began giving way.


Those who wear flip flops regularly know what I am talking about. It starts feeling looser. You glance down and see that sure enough, it is getting looser and the spot between your toe is even giving way and may bust open at any moment.


You have to clench your foot and consciously lift your foot every time you take a step.


I could not have that happen.

The night was still young. I had at least 3 or 4 hours still ahead of me!

So, in fashion of my younger days --at college, or when we'd go to Browns' games at old Municipal Stadium, I yanked off the shoes and walked barefoot through the streets of Cleveland.

I did not care.

Threw caution to the wind and loved it actually.

From Progressive Field to Harry Buffalo.....through East 4th (which is AMAZING these days--love it!) down Euclid Avenue through Public Square....over to West 6th and the Warehouse District!


An amazing feat that my feet did not get sliced up or worse.


Each establishment we entered, I'd put on my shoes for a fleeting moment until we got in and then poof --slipped them off because with each step, the plastic support was loosening.


Quite a liberating feeling to dance on the dance floor at Dive Bar barefoot and play Foosball barefoot! Just like I was back at college roaming around campus at 2:00 a.m.


Into the Rooftop Bar. The shoes immediately came off as I was required to walk at least 36 steps to get to the rooftop, and once up there, up and down a few platforms.


No way Jose.


Once up there, what a beautiful sight of my fair city. The music blasting, pounding through your whole body, the drinks freely flowing, and a breeze that made it all worth it as you glance out at the city skyline.


Finally, the night had to come to some sort of conclusion.


I had been up since 5:00 a.m. My other friend actually had to go INTO work. She was a trooper drinking water all night.


We decided to head back together --walking.


Never once felt afraid or unsafe to navigate the streets of Cleveland in the wee hours of the morning --shoeless!


And once we left the Rooftop Bar, I was required to be shoeless for the rest of our trek as my flip flip busted into 2 pieces before our very eyes. Caitlin was nice enough to ask if I wanted to get a taxi.


Heck no, this was the perfect ending to our daylong adventure.


We walked back to our cars, having a wonderful conversation, I feeling as if I was a kid again.


And deep down inside, I think I still am!

Burning the candle with great friends

An amazing week to say the least.

I have been filling in on vacation relief at work, therefore I've been able to do things and see people I ordinarily would not see.

Needless to say I've been burning the candle at both ends, but it has not affected me.

I normally do not need a lot of sleep.

Thank goodness.

My goal this week is to attend 8 Indians' games in a row. I know I will accomplish that feat.

But more importantly than that stat, it's the quality of life--the great friends & family I've been able to re-acquaint myself with and just enjoying each day to the fullest.

I know, I know, I should never lecture anyone. But one of my new pet peeves is when I see people buzz through the day working toward something happening next week, next month, or further down the road. Or when I hear people talk about their really long range plans like retirement.

Let me tell you my friends, those days may never come. We must live in the here and now.

I've always believed that life IS the daily journey we take getting to the finish line, NOT the finish line.

I must only ponder my own life, but I really wish some of my closest friends whom I love dearly would hop on my band wagon, if only for a selfish reason, that they spend quality time with me, gush over me, pamper me while I am still here. YOU know who you are!!!!

So this week, besides my Tribe games, I have enjoyed seeing Mike, Jim, Monique, Karen, Maureen, Chuck, Diana, and Kim. I also chatted for the longest time with a dear, dear friend, Jimmie.

Spending the night at the game with Diana and Kim made me feel like I was back in college because we DID go to college together. Honestly, it seemed like none of us really changed our looks and we all had that same vibrant zest for life. I am so blessed to have surrounded myself with friends who truly LOVE life. Thank you God!

At the game, just starting to realize that the folks sitting around you do have a tendency to eavesdrop on your conversations. WHOA! Diana, Kim, and I were discussing some pretty heavy duty 'girl' stuff.....relationships, and such. Half way through the conversation, we realized the guys sitting in front of us were listening the whole time. When we made a joke, they laughed. When we quieted, they leaned closer. What a hoot. As we spoke of boys, men, sexting, love, travel, etc., the chocolate covered banana vendor came around. One of the guys in front whipped around and said "Now that seems like it would be your kind of treat ladies" and burst into laughter. Not quite sure what he meant by that correlation (snicker snicker) but we all broke into laughter at that point!

All and all, a wonderful week with some pretty fantastic friends.

Can't ask for a better life.

Top o' the town!

This weekend has been just tip-top!

Probably should not admit this, but Saturday night I had absolutely no plans.

You could look at that as 'what a loser.' You could say, 'finally!' You could say, 'Why didn't you do something constructive and begin cleaning the tip of the iceberg?'

Yes, I wanted to be out with friends but got no invites.

Yes, I wanted to stop by and see my friend who deejays but figured he'd be too busy for me and yes, I did not wanna be a wallflower.

So, I relaxed! I watched the New York Yankee -Tampa Bay Ray Game to see if A-ROD reached his quest for 600.

I chatted with my best friend Craig for a little while as he drove over to 'his' best friend's house in TPA...

Quite bittersweet. Nice not to have to do or go anywhere but.....

Sunday quite the adventure. My usual singing at Mass.....then straight to the Terminal Tower for the final day folks can pop up on the observation deck and see the great city which we live.

Rude awakening as the wait was at least 2 hours. Ya know, I have nothing until 4 so I waited. When dealt lemons, make lemonade. A wonderful opportunity for me to go through all of my prayers which I had gotten away from saying as I enjoyed the sights and sounds of downtown Cleveland.

It was an amazing afternoon waiting with hundreds of others, see how we all passed the time, and get so excited as we entered the elevator to go up, up, and away!

And when I got to the top, the elevator doors opened and there he was--a former co-worker of mine. Jeremy!

And then the view from the top--took my breath away. Cleveland is truly a beautiful city regardless of what some nay-sayers squawk.

Definitely worth the 2 hour plus wait.

Now off to my next adventure --my sister's open house with family and friends.....quite a great night spending quality time with so many special people.

One of the highlights --the kids (not really kids anymore) tossing the basketball around in the backyard. Doesn't take much to make me happy. I'm just sooooo ecstatic that we were all together.

I just LOVE my life!

Emotions ran wild as LeBron ran to South Beach

WOW!

In the words of Dennis Eckersley as Manny Ramirez slammed that homer in the 10th inning to win the game-- W-O-W!

I need a vacation to recover from my long weekend.

Actually, believe it or not, I had a fantastic weekend in Tampa with one of my best friends.

However, I am not going to lie --it was riddled with a few emotional moments and much drama.

The 'old' Danielle would have let the drama ruin her weekend. Not this time suckers!

Let's face it, I was in Tampa FLA with the exact same weather as in Cleveland, Ohio. Boy do I LOVE summer!

In the company of a very dear friend, planning on visiting with a few other old friends, and in the same town as "my" Cleveland Indians all weekend long. Pinch me!

My family used to go to FLA all the time...still able to hit it at least once a year and everyone knows it rains every day in FLA but only for a fleeting moment. Not one stitch in 5 days! You have got to be kidding me!

I had a momentary visit with a former co-worker, Kim Fatica. What a treat to see him. Planning on visiting with him later this year as well.

Just not having to drive for 4.5 days would have been enough, but that was one of the many cherries on top of my ice cream sundae all week long! Can't beat fresh seafood, sandy beaches, baseball, sun, poolside, not having to wear any undergarments, palm trees, cocktails every hour on the hour, good music, and no worries or responsibilities.

Not sure what this means--when we entered The Batter's Eye, the bartenders Rick and Grant recognized me and started fixing my cocktail? Hmmmmm. I can understand with Craig and Ben because they LIVE there but me, once a year? Either I'm in there every game I'm in town OR very memorable. I'd like to think I am someone no one could ever forget! I do know my way around the Trop very well! Does not compare to Jacob's Field but it has its charm!

The day/night progressing very well until the texts and calls began streaming in about LeBron going to the Miami Heat. There are some things you just can't control. During the Indians-Rays game I just burst into tears behind the Indians dug out with no chance of stopping. I can't believe I got so wrapped up in the whole LeBron saga but apparently it affected me more than I ever imagined.

Even though this had no bearing on my life, I felt as if I'd been betrayed yet again. At that very moment, I felt as if I could trust absolutely no one and everyone in my life would continue using me and letting me down.

The night kinda went downhill from there as we went home after the game and watched the tivo'd 'Decision' coverage and I continued sobbing my eyes out.

I know right about now, I will get comments that say "LeBron is not worth the tears" and a million other comments. Folks, some things are beyond one's control. You gotta pee and just let loose. Same thing with the tear ducts sometimes. They begin and don't shut off until the falls run dry.

The 2nd day I was in FLA, a bit more drama as I could not long on the Internet or Face book. Now, originally I made an agreement with myself that I would be phone and computer free for 5 days. I tried cheating and got burned. Could not log on and got peeved. I did throw a short temper tantrum but snapped out of it as I visited with my friends Rick and Grant in the Batter's Eye again at Tropicana Field! I also text messaged a sweetheart of a friend a few times who was back in the Cleve which lifted my spirits!

I gave my first Rayhawk haircut. I'm guessing Ben shaved his entire head after I left because of a slight 'unevenness' in the back. I did my best!

A slight uncomfortable moment as a drunk friend acted a bit inappropriate. That did not even bother me. It's the fact that my best friend did not stand up for me and tell our other friend to knock it off. That's when I truly felt my worth with my 14-year friend...and knew I had to back off on this friendship for a while.

The last bit of drama came at the end of my visit as I did not wanna leave....kind of an awkward feeling encompassed my last night and the morning I was leaving. My host never even got his caboose out of bed until the very second I was leaving. I don't rate much in his eyes apparently.

Mixed signals continue after 14 years. I could not take these mixed signals 14 years ago and I am ending them now. No more. I'm getting too old for this --I'm not a mind reader and deserve more respect than head and reindeer games--especially after ALL I've done for my friend with any kind of support he has needed over the years, including lotsa money. The well has run dry on many fronts my friend.

Overall, the trip WAS a complete success. There is always bound to be drama--especially when connected to me! What a breath of fresh air and wonderful visit with dear friends, more baseball, and a feeling of no responsibilities--if for just a little while.

I adore my tan!

When I arrived home, though I missed Craig and FLA, it was sooooo good to be home. Traveling, always a joy, but I enjoy coming home to Cleveland. A true Cleveland girl!

The drama continued as I fully expected to get together for drinks or dinner or just catch the home run hitting contest with a friend who I'd been missing for quite a while. Yet again, mixed signals and a major miscommunication. I was very disappointed, you could even say heart broken. But I made the best of it. I made myself a nice cocktail, unpacked, and relaxed. I had a fabulous phone conversation with another dear friend who set me back on the right track.

No more head games. No more miscommunication. No more being the door mat for some of my friends. I am seriously reconsidering these two very important friendships and where and how I'd like to proceed.

All in all, the Tampa weekend was just what the doctor ordered on many fronts --to relax, enjoy baseball and the sun, and re-evaluate my future. Mission accomplished!

"The Decision"

Funny how life unfolds.

Another amazing week in my life.

A few days ago I received a visit from a dear, dear grade school friend and her family. Just when I was beginning to doubt myself and wondering about a few current friendships/relationships, Susie showed me that there ARE true friends out there who will be there forever.

Heck, Susie and her family are from North Carolina and I had a wonderful visit with her. I can't even get together for coffee/pizza/or a baseball game with another amazing friend who lives only 30 minutes away. Go figure!

As the week began, I had grandiose plans and mountains I wanted to conquer before I hit the sandy beaches of Tampa, FLA.

As the week progressed I realized what was realistic and downsized my plans. The "new" and improved Danielle did not freak out that everything would not get done. I'm very content knowing I am not superwoman (though most think I am! I will let them believe what they want).

And so the week brings us to now! I leave for TPA before the sun pops up and am not going to go to bed as I finish packing & finish up last minute things...

But more importantly, "The Decision" is due tonight between 9:10 p.m. and 9:20 p.m.

It's already all over the internet that LeBron James is heading to the Miami Heat so what's left to say?

Amazing that LeBron and I may be in the same state this weekend. Funny how life plays out.

I can't let the outcome cloud my long weekend with one of my best friends and my boys, the Cleveland Indians!

As one of my favorite actresses says, Que Sera Sera....

Felt like the super model who never got asked to the Prom

No, I don't see myself as a super model. But I do have many of those extraordinary qualities (lol)!

Here's the background--so you see all these super models, stars, actresses who are beautiful, popular, vivacious, blah blah blah, get interviewed on Regis and Kelly, The Today Show, Leno, whatever! And during the interview they always say, "I never went to any of my proms because all the guys thought I already had a date or thought I was stuck up."

I don't get these feelings very often, but unfortunately, Independence Day ushered in this awful realization. And to top it off, I did not fit into my 'supermodel' cutoff flag jeans shorts. But by golly, I will by Labor Day people! I will! And I will look HOT! However, no one will see me (and below explains why!!! LOL!)

Did not get invited to one single, gosh darn cook out, party, picnic, anything. And of course, being a normal day off, my family did not plan any big shindig for once! Rats! When I saw all these alleged facebook friends talking about all the cookouts/parties they were attending, I screamed at the top of my lungs! Really. And I realized that I could have the big "L" on my forehead.

I have many, many male married friends who of course can not invite me to any of their events because wives don't like their husbands hanging around cute, single girls....

For the most part, many of my married female friends have stopped calling me because I'm single without children, so come on, what do we really have in common anymore? (Now now, I DO still have some very endearing married female friends --and you know who you are, all 2 of you!!! lol).

Some of my single friends call me when "I'm the last resort" and they have nothing better to do.

And my other single friends were working. My sister and I popped into work after the fireworks and they all said, 'if we would have had a party, you WOULD have been invited!' I think I believe them because I do have a handful of true blue friends--very blessed!

Do I not get invited because for so many years I was Mom's caregiver and had to pass on events? Maybe....but that equation has changed.

Do I not get invited because everyone else in the world is connected to their own family and they just don't have room for a single interloper? Possibly. But I thought I had better friends than that!

In the past, I would have been hanging with my BFF, who unfortunately had to move to FLA. Maybe because I hung with him so long, I myself shunned many people. Could be?

Now, before I start getting the emails and messages saying 'hang in there' or 'snap out of it you B_ _ _ H,' this feeling did not last long.....you should know me by now. 1/2 of my family wound up getting together and having a pretty good impromptu party....then my sister and I hit the downtown fireworks!

I am amazing! I am fun! I really know how to live life and will continue to do so, with or without road blocks....

I'm just used to the parties we used to throw when Mom was alive--she'd be cooking for days. There were soooo many of us who always hung together. Then Mom died and....

I am lucky because my family usually gets together for so many events, holidays, birthdays, gambling jaunts.....just so happened the one day out of the year we did not, no one else included me and I nearly had a mental breakdown.

Being the party planner of the family, this was a lesson that I should be aggressive and next time choreograph something --even if it's for ME or 1/2 of us --so I don't get this awful pit in my stomach again that makes me want to throw up.

But I don't get it. I'm the one who is always so giving to everyone else yet....oh well. Let it go. They will get theirs one day!

I am my Mother's daughter. I am quite strong. I do know how to make my own fun and if others don't want to have the fun with me, they can go.... I just am used to sharing life with others.....I enjoy sharing baseball games, events, dinners, movies, concerts, memory-making times with others. I thrive on being in a big familial or friend group laughing so hard we all pee our pants, making so many good times that we recount time and time again......

I don't think just because someone has not found that someone special yet, they should be penalized. This topic played out many, many times on 'Sex in the City' and apparently still very prevalent today. If you are not married, you are an outcast. If you don't have children, avoided like the plague. If you don't smoke, shame on you!

If Mom and God are smiling on me, one day I will find my special someone. But if I don't, I pray they give me the peace of mind to be me, the best me I can be, and the strength to handle 98 percent of this couple oriented world (even if the couples are MISERABLE!). I have faith.

In the meantime, I'm sure this sick pit will return to my stomach 2-4 times a year....but, those other 361 days hopefully will be PRICELESS!

Thanks Jesus! Now, the countdown is on for "Op. TPA" and I am ready to go.......

Final step complete

Yet another busy weekend, but very constructive.

A weekend to say goodbye to my uncle one final time.

We buried my uncle's ashes this weekend and know he is watching over us.

Just as we were standing around the grave site saying a final prayer, the dreary sky cleared, the sun shone through the gray clouds and shined down upon us all. I looked up and smiled at my uncle!

An emotional day to say the very least for all involved--or at least me.

I spoke to 3 very good friends where a much needed 'catch up' was due.

I was doing pretty good until after 4pm Mass when I visited with 3 relatives who were in attendance. It was so good seeing Caroline, Mario and Sam. I am so blessed. Mario said, "I knew you had an angelic face, I never knew you had such an angelic voice." We visited for a few minutes and said our good byes.

Walking across the parking lot unleashed the emotions of the day. But honestly, I believe everyone needs one good cry a day!

And then seeing my Indians play was a perfect night cap to help me relax, unwind, and realize how lucky and blessed I truly am! Mom channeled through me--I was saying things I'd never even imagine saying at the game, yet stuff Mom would say all the time! Thanks Mom!

In a week where I felt like Cinderella and it seemed everything went perfectly, Sunday ended on a semi-perfect note. Church almost sheer perfection. Yet again, saw many people I'd not seen in a while. Another trip to Progressive Field to meet my friend Lydia on an absolutely PERFECT sunny day!

Then a fabulous dinner with friends galore.

I'm not sure why I deserve the week I just lived through but I will never ever dispute it, always remember every moment (some way more than others!!), and savor ever morsel --for tomorrow may never come.

New Memories

Like night and day.

I was fortunate to steal away back in May for a long weekend with one of my dearest friends in Florida.

It was great. I enjoyed seeing my comrade as well as immersing myself in a weekend of baseball, another love of mine.

A terrific weekend of sun, fun, baseball, relaxation, cocktails, and catching up with a kindred spirit.


I can not begin to tell you how these two weekends are worlds apart from each other. Absolutely no parallel whatsoever--and that's not bad.

Has nothing to do with the company or participants --all are quite tremendous and so very dear to me.

Has nothing to do with the locations --both lovely and soothing. Well, I have to admit, it was much nicer in Ohio than it was down in FLA, but I enjoyed the steamy south baking in the sun.


I have not been able to put my finger on the elusive 'it' yet.


What I did notice is that this weekend there was a nice blend of old memories and making new memories.

I do believe that is the 'it' but I am not quite sure why or how that happens?!??!


Sometimes when I get together with old friends, whether it be school buddies, or former or current work confidants, it's a bunch of 'rehashing' the 'good ole days.' You laugh, you remember, you get a warm place in your heart going back in time. But there is no new growth causing you to stay back in time.

I love bringing up the past and laughing about ridiculous stories, but again, this weekend, we made so many new memories which heightened our pleasures and strengthened our bonds even stronger.

Making new memories is a surefire way to keep relationships growing, nurture current friendships, and tighten the ties that bind even tighter.

2 damsels in distress!

Mom and Dani's excellent adventure.

It was an excellent adventure except for about 10 minutes. But then because I have an outstanding friend, those 10 minutes were erased and replaced with awe and gratitude!

We decided to make the trek to PNC Park to see our boys--on the hottest day of the year! My car thermometer registered 98 degrees, and not the musical group!

But we were buzzing along, great car, jamming to Siriusly Sinatra, having an exquisite day. Until I missed one wrong turn.

We were on vacation. We could take a little excursion and sight see. Which we did. But having been to Pittsburgh numerous times before, it's circles and bridges and highway and hardly anywhere to turn off or turn around!

Finally, I got to the Rite Aid Parking lot so I could call my college buddy, Gary. What a gem. I've found in life that my best buds are my college buddies with a handful of grade school and high school folks as well!. After that, once you get in the business world, it's every man for themselves and forget about it.

Gary not only gave me directions but said, "stay put, I'm coming to get you!" We were in awe and so thankful for having such a wonderful friend!

As Mom hit right on the nose, he has not changed a bit.

We followed him back to his restaurant, "Big Jim's," which was recently featured on Guy's "Diner's, Drive-ins, & Dives."

For the next few hours we enjoyed the company of good friends, excellent food and not having to worry about anything.

When you say in the coming weeks, months and years, "where were you when Farrah died?" or "where were you when you learned about Michael Jackson?" Mom and I were with Gary at Big Jim's spending quality time with good people.

Gary got us to PNC Park, where Mom and I enjoyed yet more quality time together doing what we love best: watching the boys play baseball! I love PNC Park. Mom enjoyed it though she states she likes Progressive Field better.

We are truly blessed. A safe trip visiting good friends and new adventures with those we love. Who could ask for anything more.

Well, we would have liked a win, but heck, it was a good time all in all.

When we arrived home, a perfect ending to a near-perfect day. My cousin Johnny had left a message. What a hoot. He said, "I know you are not hearing this right now or getting this right now and the reason I know that is because we just saw you on TV in Pittsburgh at the game....they just gave you a shout out Dani and her Mom....."

Life is good....