No, I don't see myself as a super model. But I do have many of those extraordinary qualities (lol)!
Here's the background--so you see all these super models, stars, actresses who are beautiful, popular, vivacious, blah blah blah, get interviewed on Regis and Kelly, The Today Show, Leno, whatever! And during the interview they always say, "I never went to any of my proms because all the guys thought I already had a date or thought I was stuck up."
I don't get these feelings very often, but unfortunately, Independence Day ushered in this awful realization. And to top it off, I did not fit into my 'supermodel' cutoff flag jeans shorts. But by golly, I will by Labor Day people! I will! And I will look HOT! However, no one will see me (and below explains why!!! LOL!)
Did not get invited to one single, gosh darn cook out, party, picnic, anything. And of course, being a normal day off, my family did not plan any big shindig for once! Rats! When I saw all these alleged facebook friends talking about all the cookouts/parties they were attending, I screamed at the top of my lungs! Really. And I realized that I could have the big "L" on my forehead.
I have many, many male married friends who of course can not invite me to any of their events because wives don't like their husbands hanging around cute, single girls....
For the most part, many of my married female friends have stopped calling me because I'm single without children, so come on, what do we really have in common anymore? (Now now, I DO still have some very endearing married female friends --and you know who you are, all 2 of you!!! lol).
Some of my single friends call me when "I'm the last resort" and they have nothing better to do.
And my other single friends were working. My sister and I popped into work after the fireworks and they all said, 'if we would have had a party, you WOULD have been invited!' I think I believe them because I do have a handful of true blue friends--very blessed!
Do I not get invited because for so many years I was Mom's caregiver and had to pass on events? Maybe....but that equation has changed.
Do I not get invited because everyone else in the world is connected to their own family and they just don't have room for a single interloper? Possibly. But I thought I had better friends than that!
In the past, I would have been hanging with my BFF, who unfortunately had to move to FLA. Maybe because I hung with him so long, I myself shunned many people. Could be?
Now, before I start getting the emails and messages saying 'hang in there' or 'snap out of it you B_ _ _ H,' this feeling did not last long.....you should know me by now. 1/2 of my family wound up getting together and having a pretty good impromptu party....then my sister and I hit the downtown fireworks!
I am amazing! I am fun! I really know how to live life and will continue to do so, with or without road blocks....
I'm just used to the parties we used to throw when Mom was alive--she'd be cooking for days. There were soooo many of us who always hung together. Then Mom died and....
I am lucky because my family usually gets together for so many events, holidays, birthdays, gambling jaunts.....just so happened the one day out of the year we did not, no one else included me and I nearly had a mental breakdown.
Being the party planner of the family, this was a lesson that I should be aggressive and next time choreograph something --even if it's for ME or 1/2 of us --so I don't get this awful pit in my stomach again that makes me want to throw up.
But I don't get it. I'm the one who is always so giving to everyone else yet....oh well. Let it go. They will get theirs one day!
I am my Mother's daughter. I am quite strong. I do know how to make my own fun and if others don't want to have the fun with me, they can go.... I just am used to sharing life with others.....I enjoy sharing baseball games, events, dinners, movies, concerts, memory-making times with others. I thrive on being in a big familial or friend group laughing so hard we all pee our pants, making so many good times that we recount time and time again......
I don't think just because someone has not found that someone special yet, they should be penalized. This topic played out many, many times on 'Sex in the City' and apparently still very prevalent today. If you are not married, you are an outcast. If you don't have children, avoided like the plague. If you don't smoke, shame on you!
If Mom and God are smiling on me, one day I will find my special someone. But if I don't, I pray they give me the peace of mind to be me, the best me I can be, and the strength to handle 98 percent of this couple oriented world (even if the couples are MISERABLE!). I have faith.
In the meantime, I'm sure this sick pit will return to my stomach 2-4 times a year....but, those other 361 days hopefully will be PRICELESS!
Thanks Jesus! Now, the countdown is on for "Op. TPA" and I am ready to go.......
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