Against my better judgement, I've gotten sucked into the huge spider web and can't seem to find my way out. Or I feel like I'm sinking in a sand trap.
Though I'd rather meet someone in person, get to know them, and make new memories 'THAT' way, I've gotten roped into the way kids today talk: via texting.
I enjoy conversing with my new text buddy but my head is spinning. We chat like buddies then we have crazy conversations like we are more than buddies.
Frankly, I am confused. We've discussed soooooo much, I do feel as if I know him. I do feel akin to him and I've told him absolutely EVERYTHING about me. I can share anything and everything with him. I feel so comfortable with this fellow human being. But there is no freaking way I should let myself get attached to anyone until I meet them in person. That has not happened thus far and every time I ask if it will, there is no definitive answer and I wind up in the dog house.
Last week after I received a text of six little words, I actually ran to the bathroom at work and threw up. Yes, it was stupid. First, ridiculous thinking I knew what my text buddy was saying in the context of a text. I will be the first person to say text messages are meaningless. They are words that could go anyway and you don't know what they mean until you hear them in person.
Second, to get upset over a guy is going against everything I believe in--no one should get upset over a guy via text, over the phone or in person.
Yet, yes, I feel close to this kid. I so would like to start a friendship, friends only situation, with this awesome individual. There have been dozens and dozens of signs over the last three weeks convincing me that we should be friends. I believe in signs. When two people text the same message to each other at the same time, it's a sign. That's what happened one night during a thunderstorm. When in casual conversation I shared the random fact that I love the smell of Skoal Wintergreen and that's his brand, I take that as a sign. When I tell him one of my favorite beers is Molson Ice and he is drinking that beer at the time, that's a sign. There have been so many other coincidences that I can not let this friendship go, not just yet.
Not sure what's swirling around in his head about me? I'd like to think he feels the same bit I just don't know.
Yes, I got so upset over a guy it made me physically ill. It was an absolutely chaotic hour. And what really gets me is that I was messaging a friend of mine....and my text buddy was responding to the texts I was sending my friend. That irked me a bit. I wanted to talk to my friend in confidence and it appeared as if she was sharing my situation with my text buddy by his responses to me..... not good.
It was a crazy 48 hours filled with emotion. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this situation. All I can do is first and foremost pray to God and Mom to help me, to give me the strength to do nothing and put this situation in their hands off of my shoulders. Next, I just need to be me, be the person Mom taught me to be, be a good friend and a good Christian and hope that in the end, I will have been a good friend to my new text buddy.
They have tons happening in their life, but so do I.
Fortunately, Saturday night, when I received another text that seemed like our friendship had been disbanded I was with two very very good friends who told me how lucky I was, who reminded me they and so many other good people are in my life and conked me on the head telling me how absolutely blessed I am.
I would not in any way shape or form hand back the last 21 days for the world. I've enjoyed conversations with my new friend. I've enjoyed meeting, if only via text, someone that 3 weeks ago wasn't even a blip on my radar. He has made me smile every single day for the last 21 days. I've been on cloud 9.
God is good. I need to keep saying that....God is good....God is in charge. What will be will be and God never ever hands us anything we can not handle.
At the very least, this summer in my life --May thru the present, will make one hell of a romance novel! Thank God I've been taking notes and jotting down the most important memories! Whew hoo! I am the glass full girl and I, of anyone, know how to make delicious lemonade when handed a basket of sour lemons! HA!
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