Tangled in a spider web, sinking in a sand trap

Against my better judgement, I've gotten sucked into the huge spider web and can't seem to find my way out. Or I feel like I'm sinking in a sand trap.

Though I'd rather meet someone in person, get to know them, and make new memories 'THAT' way, I've gotten roped into the way kids today talk: via texting.

I enjoy conversing with my new text buddy but my head is spinning. We chat like buddies then we have crazy conversations like we are more than buddies.

Frankly, I am confused. We've discussed soooooo much, I do feel as if I know him. I do feel akin to him and I've told him absolutely EVERYTHING about me. I can share anything and everything with him. I feel so comfortable with this fellow human being. But there is no freaking way I should let myself get attached to anyone until I meet them in person. That has not happened thus far and every time I ask if it will, there is no definitive answer and I wind up in the dog house.

Last week after I received a text of six little words, I actually ran to the bathroom at work and threw up. Yes, it was stupid. First, ridiculous thinking I knew what my text buddy was saying in the context of a text. I will be the first person to say text messages are meaningless. They are words that could go anyway and you don't know what they mean until you hear them in person.

Second, to get upset over a guy is going against everything I believe in--no one should get upset over a guy via text, over the phone or in person.

Yet, yes, I feel close to this kid. I so would like to start a friendship, friends only situation, with this awesome individual. There have been dozens and dozens of signs over the last three weeks convincing me that we should be friends. I believe in signs. When two people text the same message to each other at the same time, it's a sign. That's what happened one night during a thunderstorm. When in casual conversation I shared the random fact that I love the smell of Skoal Wintergreen and that's his brand, I take that as a sign. When I tell him one of my favorite beers is Molson Ice and he is drinking that beer at the time, that's a sign. There have been so many other coincidences that I can not let this friendship go, not just yet.

Not sure what's swirling around in his head about me? I'd like to think he feels the same bit I just don't know.

Yes, I got so upset over a guy it made me physically ill. It was an absolutely chaotic hour. And what really gets me is that I was messaging a friend of mine....and my text buddy was responding to the texts I was sending my friend. That irked me a bit. I wanted to talk to my friend in confidence and it appeared as if she was sharing my situation with my text buddy by his responses to me..... not good.

It was a crazy 48 hours filled with emotion. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this situation. All I can do is first and foremost pray to God and Mom to help me, to give me the strength to do nothing and put this situation in their hands off of my shoulders. Next, I just need to be me, be the person Mom taught me to be, be a good friend and a good Christian and hope that in the end, I will have been a good friend to my new text buddy.

They have tons happening in their life, but so do I.

Fortunately, Saturday night, when I received another text that seemed like our friendship had been disbanded I was with two very very good friends who told me how lucky I was, who reminded me they and so many other good people are in my life and conked me on the head telling me how absolutely blessed I am.

I would not in any way shape or form hand back the last 21 days for the world. I've enjoyed conversations with my new friend. I've enjoyed meeting, if only via text, someone that 3 weeks ago wasn't even a blip on my radar. He has made me smile every single day for the last 21 days. I've been on cloud 9.

God is good. I need to keep saying that....God is good....God is in charge. What will be will be and God never ever hands us anything we can not handle.

At the very least, this summer in my life --May thru the present, will make one hell of a romance novel! Thank God I've been taking notes and jotting down the most important memories! Whew hoo! I am the glass full girl and I, of anyone, know how to make delicious lemonade when handed a basket of sour lemons! HA!

New beginnings

A bittersweet day.

Friday, certainly a day of endings and new beginnings.

We recently lost our former Pastor, Father Anthony Zepp.

Fr. Zepp gave my Mother a wonderful opportunity to serve our church for so many years as well as becoming a member of our extended family (he and his family).

He will truly be missed. I'm sure this was his greeting for so many, but I loved when he welcomed me by saying, 'Hi Honey' and gave me a big hug!

Mom and I were quite fortunate to see him only weeks ago as I sang a funeral for one of our parishioners. Fr. Zepp was ailing but attended the funeral Mass.

Friday, we said goodbye to him so he could begin his life of eternity with the Lord above. I'm sure the first face he saw was his Mother, who we also miss!

His funeral Mass, a moving and deserving sendoff. There had to be over 200 priests on hand saying goodbye to their brother. Bishop Anthony Pilla officiated the Mass. It was so nice seeing former parishioners, friends, and members of Father's family we've not seen in years.

I'm extremely proud and blessed to have my religion be the main staple in my life. Though we were at a funeral mass, it was not a sad occasion. It was a joyful, beautiful remembrance of a truly great man.

And, seeing how faith-filled my Mother is and hoping that one day, I too, will carry that trait makes me look forward to each new morning.

Mom has garnered so much respect being such a wonderful woman.

During the ending procession, Father's nephew, a Pall Bearer, leaned over and gave Mom a big kiss.

But wait. There's more.

During the ending procession, Bishop Anthony Pilla did the same. He not only greeted Mom but lay his hand on her head and gave her a blessing.

I'm in awe at how much love is extended toward my Mother. She certainly deserves it, but the fact that there are still caring people in the world offers hope for our future.

Father Zepp went immediately to heaven. That's a given. We mourn his loss but praise his life and rejoice that he is no longer in pain and has met up with family and friends who have gone before him. We extend our prayers and thoughts to those left on this earth that we all can carry on his legacy as caring, loving servants of God.

Now the next bittersweet news doesn't even compare to the death of a loved one.

However, none the less, a life-changing event.

Friday, one of my most cherished possessions was taken from me for good.

It was first taken from me back on March 25, 2009.

Friday, my car was towed to its final resting place. Very telling. As we were at Father Zepp's funeral, the insurance tow company took my totalled vehicle.

Not seeing my car in the garage anymore --reality hit as I realized my car was gone for good, gone forever.

Again, it's just a 'thing.' But a momentous occasion in my life as well.

One chapter closed, the next one opened.

God's in charge and knows what he is doing.

We just need to follow his lead, do the best we can and know that no matter what, God is on our side and with us every step of the way. Every trial and tribulation. Every joyous event. Every time someone persecutes us for doing what we believe is right. He's right by our side.