So much for good health & happiness

OK, if you know me, you know I am surrounded by much love and happiness....and find the good & glimmer of hope in pretty much every situation...to the point where my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from enjoying much laughter throughout that day. But I have to tell you, it's only the beginning of March and the amount of illness in the new year has been astonishing. From my sister who had 2 surgeries at the beginning of the year....a few friends at work who are battling issues.....to one of my best friends, currently living in FLA, who will be coming into town next week to have hernia surgery.....plus his mother who will be 87 years old this year enduring her share of sickness. Our dear Pastor has been limping around as my choir director ...... I just found out another dear friend of mine has been 'quiet' because he was battling very serious lung issues and then had surgery...and then just recently wound up back in the hospital with complications. Oh my. Fortunately, he was well enough to chat this weekend and brought me up to speed. I know everything happens for a reason.......but please Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, enough is enough! Of course, with all due respect! I'm raising my arms and eyes to you for much improved health and ever so much more happiness in the coming months....if your will be done!

Family & friends make the world go round

What a whirlwind week! The twister swooped down & picked me up numerous times over the last 5 days, each touchdown recalling a sentimental moment in my life or making a new memory.

A week ago one of Mom's best friend's passed away. I can not believe she is gone. Ironically, the last place I met her for lunch is where we all gathered again to send her off and celebrate her life. Of course, she told her family to make sure Father Gary had at least 2 cocktails in her honor! During our luncheon, I met a few other school mates of Mom's who only had the nicest things to say about both Mom and Mercedes. It's rattling to have someone say, "you are singing my funeral" and then have it happen so soon after that declaration. Drat.

All in all, the experience very heart warming and soothing. I know I have at least two guardian angels up in Heaven (oh, so many more) that are squabbling back and forth that I am singing to one, no the other, blah blah blah.

The funeral was beautiful, just as Mercedes wanted...and the trip the cemetery as regal as the woman we were memorializing. The sun peeked through just as we said good bye for the last time. So many other thoughts came flashing back from this one event. When Uncle Bill passed away, we drove through Lakeview Cemetery after his luncheon to view the wall of daffodils...

The weekend continued surrounded by friends and family as I met a very dear friend for dinner. We broke bread and just talked, laughed, and forgot about life for the next three hours. Then, against my better judgement, I met a group of friends out. I was just about home and was rerouted thinking, 'this is trouble.' But in reality, it was nice to see a former co-worker of mine and just wind down the evening. Even better, the bonus at the end of the night. I had a delectable conversation with someone I hold dear to my heart. He nicely wrapped the entire funeral day up with a bow raising my spirits proving why he is one of my dearest friends I never, ever want to let go.

I re-connected with yet another former co-worker this weekend as he and his wife deal with a tough situation. But I told him, that's totally what friends are for --the love, friendship, moral support and any other support necessary to get through this thing we call life. It was a real treat just sitting and catching up with them for a while.

Then off to an impromptu family dinner full of homemade lasagna! MMMMM! And another treat was having 'the girls' in our midst! Zoey and Isabella are the cutest things in the world (besides Chica-lou!)...

Again, great to visit with the family, break bread and laugh, laugh, and laugh some more! Now, we all gathered during the beginning of yet another awful snow storm....but it was well worth it!

In the midst of this family love fest, looming in the back of my mind were two other dear friends who are not feeling well. One is having an operation this week after being sick for most of the year already. I pray for him everyday. He's very special to me. And my other friend will be coming back into town for an operation in a few weeks. He, too, is a dear friend who has a lengthy history with me.....

I so wish I could do more for them all.....as I began, family and friends make the world go round --at least my world. I'd be nothing without both.

And wrapping up this week of looking back down memory lane, yet another funeral. Uncle George passed away. Auntie and I went to the funeral and luncheon afterward. It was awesome seeing my closest cousins on hand, and just being able to sit there catching up without feeling like I have a gun to my head for 'the next duty.' We always say, "we should get together more, under better circumstances" when in reality, a good start is spending quality time, un-interrupted time at these spaced out gatherings. Living in the moment is all we can do and living as best as we can in that moment.

Mom & Mercedes hitting the slots together again

I can only imagine the special reunion between Mom and one of her best friends, Mercedes. Add in Mr. and Mrs. DeGrandis and the rest of my wacky family members and they have a full-fledged non-stop party absolutely out of this world. Main course: Pasta and meatballs!

Mercedes Karpinski Spotts died February 14, 2011.

Mom and Mercedes were life long friends since high school, if not before. They wound up going to Notre Dame Academy, the old school on Ansel Road, way back when--as they and my Aunt still says, "A million years ago!"

I never remember a time not knowing Mercedes. She was a doll and a role model. She mimic'd Mom's strength, willingness to speak her mind (which I have), zest for life, being a problem solver rather than idly standing by, finesse for gambling, & most importantly, love of family and God. Oh yes, their heritage too. Just as Mom was so very proud of her Italian and Bohemian upbringing, Mercedes just as enthusiastic and proud of her Polish background.

Mercedes did not come over as much as she wanted because of our dogs...that was one difference between us all. She was not a dog lover and we were consumed with all of our dogs.

I never saw her when she did not have a smile on her face and something incredible to say about Mom. She had the best sense of humor and pretty much poked fun at everyone, most importantly herself!

At Mass, she and Mom would always sit together in their pew. God forbid someone else slip in their spots! Mercedes would tell my choir director David after Mass that I was singing to HER rather than my Mom.....and would speak 'crazytalk' requesting that I sing her funeral. I never thought that time would come so soon and believed that request was far off into the future.

Mercedes walked with a cane, which slowed her down a bit. That's the only thing that slowed her down. She was one of the sharpest women I knew. She still drove. She'd steal Mom away to go to lunch, dinner, high school reunions, and gambling jaunts. Even after Mom's mobility suffered, Mercedes still tried getting her out of the house every so often. They had a core group of friends who would travel around having fun well into their 70's as they neared the 80 mark.

When our church had a special fundraiser, night of a thousand dinners, Mercedes was one of our guests. Everyone loved her and she adored the rest of our dinner guests. Her laugh, infectious, and knowledge astounding. As usual, she held the floor most of the time.

Probably one of the best vacations Mom had was with Mercedes, and I believe, Mrs. DeGrandis. Mercedes was heading to Las Vegas for business and convinced Mom and Mrs. D. to join her! Mom talked about that trip up until she died. And Mercedes was simply amazed at Mom's luck.

I believe the real last big event they attended was a milestone high school reunion maybe 5 years before Mom passed. Again, they both had such a tremendous time together and with so many of their classmates, who were all still alive. Those ladies really knew how to party and do it up right! Hopefully, I will follow in their footsteps in that respect as well.


After Mom died, Mercedes pulled me aside and said she was taking me under her wing. If there was anything at all I needed, I should call her. She and I also went out to lunch periodically. She'd ask how I was REALLY doing.....she'd ask if they were treating me nicely at work.....and then she'd ask me about my love life. She, like Mom, was very concerned with finding me a nice boy who was going to take care of me. I told her it was in God's hands, but I did want a nice boy one day! She'd give me a big sigh and say, "I don't get it. You are smart, talented, beautiful, have the voice of an angel, the prettiest smile..."

Besides everything else Mercedes did for me, she always boosted my self esteem!


Mercedes is in a much better place --the destination she and my Mom worked their whole lives to reach. She's perfect--no ills, no pain, no walking cane anymore. She's with her Mom and Dad and sister Gloria.


The best thing I can do to keep their spirits alive and continue making them proud is incorporate into my daily life the ideals Mom and Mercedes taught me which include, keeping my faith strong, spreading the good word of God by example, living life to the fullest, enjoying family & friends, never giving up or doubting myself, celebrating God & life, using the talents God gave me, and of course sharing delicious meals with those I love and playing the slots every chance I get --especially when the new casino opens in Cleveland!

Go Tribe! (that was for Mom!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

For someone who is not 'in-love' with Valentine's Day right now, I had a tremendous Valentine's Weekend!

Funny how this seems to be the one 'man-made holiday' (other than maybe sweetest day, another consumer-driven holiday) where you love it if you are in love or have that special someone and absolutely abhor it if you are single, not in a relationship, recently broken up, or pining for someone who may not have the same feelings.

I must admit, though I never have a guy on Valentine's Day --except for 'Mango Man' many, many years ago, I'm a sucker for the traditions. I grew up in a house where we celebrated V-Day every year. My Mom and sister made these adorable felt sequined hearts for all of us to wear....when I was old enough, I got into the act. We'd hit Malley's for their chocolate hearts and jelly hearts. I'd buy Mom flowers. I'd get Valentine's cards and send them out en masse or pass out the small children's ones to my friends with candy attached. I'd bake my famous chocolate chip muffins and make a heart-shaped chocolate chip cake. For some reason, 1 of the most memorable Valentine's Days was oh so many years ago when we were all together and my sister made these delicious cinnamon muffins for breakfast.

Now don't get me wrong. There is some bitterness attached at times. Carrie Bradshaw, of 'Sex and the City' fame and Sue Sylvester of 'Glee' had the right idea. Both of them married themselves.

The single girl gets slighted over and over. The single girl may get birthday gifts, but usually never of the caliber only delivered by a husband or boyfriend, a Mother, or even lover. The single girl NEVER the center of attention with gifts galore showered upon her the likes of a woman about to embark on marriage --at a wedding shower....or a woman with child --at a baby shower. The single girl never gets the opportunity to receive ridiculous amounts of cash being tossed in an ornately decorated, multi-tier box set smack dab next to a wedding cake. And the single girl never gets wined and dined on her birthday, wedding anniversary, valentine's day, sweetest day, or any other 'holiday of love' including Christmas by the man of her dreams.

Carrie Bradshaw, after attending more baby and wedding showers than she could take and totalling up how much money she actually spent on her friends good fortunes with absolutely no reciprocation decided to throw a 'married to myself' party ......as did Sue Sylvester.

I don't think I'd have the balls to do that, but I love their style and the idea.

That said, this weekend was not perfect....but had some amazing memorable moments. I touched base in some way with my family....still have candy treats for a few of them forcing me to see them very soon!

I baked....passed out Valentine's candy and cookies....sent messages to the special people in my life....wore Mom's beautiful red sweater and the felt sequin heart she made for me.....

I actually saw 2 of my favorite fellows. 1 of them I had not seen in eons. He visited Mom in the hospital days before she died.....what are the chances of me running into him at an event I was attending Valentine's weekend? I take that as a definite sign from God.....as clear as Bam Bam hitting me over the head with a huge wooden club, that we will be friends forever...and our paths will continue crossing.

I had engaging phone conversations with 2 of my dearest friends in the whole wide world. 1 of them is out of state but we had a gas talking for 2 hours catching up....he and his work buddies loved the Malley's heart candy I sent....and then when I sent him a Happy Valentine's text, he made me pee my pants by responding, "Is that what all the fuss is about today?" And proceeded to wish me a very happy valentine's day back....

I was surprised and overjoyed by yet another friend I had not heard from in at least a month. We had a wonderful phone conversation....he made my day, my night and whole weekend! Hopefully, we too, will be able to catch up in person in the near future.

Beaming & Butterflies.

Realizing and recognizing the great friendships I've garnered over the years and still have in my life make me realize that being a single girl is really ok. God has been so good to me. I could not ask for a better family....and have the most amazing friends in my life across the board--from kindergarten through now--who keep me vibrant, alive, young, and most of the time, feeling loved.

I have faith that one day God will indulge me with my fantasy Valentine's Day. If I've learned one thing in life, it is never doubt the power of God. I'll keep my Valentine's Day traditions alive each February 14....my heart open.....and enjoy the mini miracles sent my way each day of the year.

No man is an island

Yes, I just "borrowed" that line.

Wish I would have coined it myself.

I'm torn on this mentality.

I prefer being self-sufficient and accomplishing tasks myself. Gives me quite a sense of satisfaction. Plus, oftentimes if someone helps you, 'certain' people hold that assist over your head indefinitely, infinity plus.

As you start climbing the ladder of life, history comes in flashbacks...you see a person or group of people or even just a photo of them and are transported back in time to that era.

And with age and maturity, you realize that these people in your past actually helped form you and pave the way to your future.

Without each and every one of them, you'd be boring, one dimensional, and a stranger to whom you know and love.

Some of us are lucky enough to keep those influential people near and dear to our hearts in our lives always.

Facebook acts as a tool to better allow us to re-connect with those special someones...

I'm quite blessed to still have people in my life I've known from birth, kindergarten, grade school, high school, college, and my professional career. God has been good to me.


A three day blitz opened the floodgates to my history--all good!

I attended the 2011 Beaumont Distinguished Alumnae Award luncheon which bridged my past and present. Two women who were at Beaumont with me received awards....faculty who taught me were in attendance....a woman I used to work with has joined the Beaumont family....and then a lovely woman in my life currently also received the honor. Joan and Mom were very good friends. Because of their friendship, I've since become good friends with she and her family, who actually invited Mom and I to Chautauqua a few years back. What a tremendous time.

I'm amazed at how life goes full circle time and time again, and more often than not, we are all connected in some way or have all crossed paths.


After the Beaumont extravaganza, I had the honor of being invited to a fantastic surprise birthday shindig--for the husband of a friend of mine. We were destined to be friends. Renee and I have known each other for eons but HOW we know each other and how many times our lives have criss crossed is the true tell tale sign our friendship will last. Renee and I worked at the same places.....I worked with her ex-husband....I've known 1 of her children forever....and then we have the college tie as she was alumni director at my alma mater for a number of years....we work together today--she as media relations specialist and I as a member of the media.

At her husband's party, I re-connected with another former co-worker of mine I've know for at least 25 years now. We picked up where we left off having a sense of familiarity. I had a very nice conversation with his wife, a new friend, and can tell that we will all continue being forever friends.


Then, if that was not enough.

I ran into my hero, my mentor, of all places --my office lunchroom

The woman who gave me my first internship is doing a project for my station. I could not believe my eyes as I saw her standing in the lunchroom. I will be ever indebted to Jane for not only giving me my first chance in this business but for being one of the best female role models of all time. To this day, Jane is a front runner with a skill level at her craft towering above all the rest. She is a brilliant producer, writer, director, editor --you name it, she does it!

Jane proves that women can do anything. You can stick to your convictions, never compromise your beliefs and integrity and still get the job done. She's a fireball who, to this day, is the hippest lady I know!


Yes, I'd love to believe that I can move mountains by myself, that I'm super woman and don't need anyone else. But looking back at my rich history and the thousands if not millions of people who have entered my life having a life-changing effect on me, I welcome company. I yearn for assistance to help me continue my evolution. I need to feel needed.

I don't want to live on this island alone.

No feeling either way

Thank goodness January is finally over.

I am the first person who says 'don't rush life' and 'savor every single second.'

I mean it, except for January 2011. Oh, it had some great moments, trust me. Actually had lots of wonderful moments! I guess I am being melodramatic. No, not me!

And the old addage, be careful what you wish for could come into play. Only God knows what's in store for the rest of 2011. Maybe it will be 10x worse than January? Or maybe a wonderful fantasy?

Thankfully my sister is feeling much better. That's a win.

I can definitely tell that I am a woman in her 'blankety blank' by the crazy happenings going on...and that's ok too. Keeps me on my toes...

Then there were not so memorable moments....and we all go through them. What keeps me strong is that Mom experienced every challenge tossed my way during this still young year. She survived. In fact she triumphed. The bad news is I don't have Mom in person to help me solve these problems. She was my rock, my savior. I just have to pray more to read the signs God may be sending. God (and Mom) will surely guide me.


The irony of it all. Two situations arose having complete opposite reactions.

The first one reminds me of the line from 'Broadcast News.' William Hurt says something like, "I feel bad that I don't feel worse."

Well, someone from my far away past who withdrew himself a long time ago revealed that he is ill and has cancer.

Honestly, I felt bad that I did not feel worse. Heck, I felt bad that I felt absolutely NOTHING. I felt sorry for him because you never want anyone to be sick. And then a little anger bubbled up that he's only brought grief into my life, and now, the possibility of passing on a deadly disease. Moving on. Went back to feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.


The other situation evokes more emotion than I ever imagined. I have a friend who helped me immensely after Mom passed away. I thought we'd be forever friends. It seems that friendship has stalled. But I really don't know. It could be a misunderstanding on my part as I often jump to conclusions. I feel helpless and just want to scream at the top of my lungs to get it back. I'd love to be able to reach him and see where we stand. It really means a lot to me.


Only God knows what will happen....being a finite human being, I really hope he brings my friend back to me. But I wonder, maybe God put him into my life for that small stretch to get me through. I'm very selfish. I want it all and want it forever! Again, must keep the faith and see where God takes me.


Thankfully, I had a dental appointment this week. My dental hygienist, who is also a friend, had no idea what she was in for when she asked that common question, "how are you doing?" She's a gem as she doubles as my therapist! Thank you Fran!

As you can see, I'm just glad January is over hoping that February through December brings so many more blessings than demons.