Mom & Mercedes hitting the slots together again

I can only imagine the special reunion between Mom and one of her best friends, Mercedes. Add in Mr. and Mrs. DeGrandis and the rest of my wacky family members and they have a full-fledged non-stop party absolutely out of this world. Main course: Pasta and meatballs!

Mercedes Karpinski Spotts died February 14, 2011.

Mom and Mercedes were life long friends since high school, if not before. They wound up going to Notre Dame Academy, the old school on Ansel Road, way back when--as they and my Aunt still says, "A million years ago!"

I never remember a time not knowing Mercedes. She was a doll and a role model. She mimic'd Mom's strength, willingness to speak her mind (which I have), zest for life, being a problem solver rather than idly standing by, finesse for gambling, & most importantly, love of family and God. Oh yes, their heritage too. Just as Mom was so very proud of her Italian and Bohemian upbringing, Mercedes just as enthusiastic and proud of her Polish background.

Mercedes did not come over as much as she wanted because of our dogs...that was one difference between us all. She was not a dog lover and we were consumed with all of our dogs.

I never saw her when she did not have a smile on her face and something incredible to say about Mom. She had the best sense of humor and pretty much poked fun at everyone, most importantly herself!

At Mass, she and Mom would always sit together in their pew. God forbid someone else slip in their spots! Mercedes would tell my choir director David after Mass that I was singing to HER rather than my Mom.....and would speak 'crazytalk' requesting that I sing her funeral. I never thought that time would come so soon and believed that request was far off into the future.

Mercedes walked with a cane, which slowed her down a bit. That's the only thing that slowed her down. She was one of the sharpest women I knew. She still drove. She'd steal Mom away to go to lunch, dinner, high school reunions, and gambling jaunts. Even after Mom's mobility suffered, Mercedes still tried getting her out of the house every so often. They had a core group of friends who would travel around having fun well into their 70's as they neared the 80 mark.

When our church had a special fundraiser, night of a thousand dinners, Mercedes was one of our guests. Everyone loved her and she adored the rest of our dinner guests. Her laugh, infectious, and knowledge astounding. As usual, she held the floor most of the time.

Probably one of the best vacations Mom had was with Mercedes, and I believe, Mrs. DeGrandis. Mercedes was heading to Las Vegas for business and convinced Mom and Mrs. D. to join her! Mom talked about that trip up until she died. And Mercedes was simply amazed at Mom's luck.

I believe the real last big event they attended was a milestone high school reunion maybe 5 years before Mom passed. Again, they both had such a tremendous time together and with so many of their classmates, who were all still alive. Those ladies really knew how to party and do it up right! Hopefully, I will follow in their footsteps in that respect as well.


After Mom died, Mercedes pulled me aside and said she was taking me under her wing. If there was anything at all I needed, I should call her. She and I also went out to lunch periodically. She'd ask how I was REALLY doing.....she'd ask if they were treating me nicely at work.....and then she'd ask me about my love life. She, like Mom, was very concerned with finding me a nice boy who was going to take care of me. I told her it was in God's hands, but I did want a nice boy one day! She'd give me a big sigh and say, "I don't get it. You are smart, talented, beautiful, have the voice of an angel, the prettiest smile..."

Besides everything else Mercedes did for me, she always boosted my self esteem!


Mercedes is in a much better place --the destination she and my Mom worked their whole lives to reach. She's perfect--no ills, no pain, no walking cane anymore. She's with her Mom and Dad and sister Gloria.


The best thing I can do to keep their spirits alive and continue making them proud is incorporate into my daily life the ideals Mom and Mercedes taught me which include, keeping my faith strong, spreading the good word of God by example, living life to the fullest, enjoying family & friends, never giving up or doubting myself, celebrating God & life, using the talents God gave me, and of course sharing delicious meals with those I love and playing the slots every chance I get --especially when the new casino opens in Cleveland!

Go Tribe! (that was for Mom!!)

A week of closeness

After our uncle's death, we prepared ourselves for a very long week ahead.

I thank God that I knew exactly how to proceed to ease my aunt's burden just a little.

I sure hope I don't have to spring into action again too soon....after this loss. Please, a little reprieve.

Though we just had a death in the family, everyone remained upbeat and remembered the good times, the fun, the laughter, and my uncle's great jokes!

Normal drill: funeral home, Alesci's, flowers, plan the liturgy and pick the music, CD's for the funeral home, box of Puffs, water/pop for the family at the funeral home, get the pall bearers and readers, and decide where to eat after the service...among so many other things.

It was such a treat going through my aunt's old pictures in order to make picture displays at the funeral.

My niece, aunt and I went through boxes of pictures.

What a walk down memory lane.

I found the picture of me and my aunt 'going down Niagra Falls.'

A great memory for me!


My niece got a charge out of the old pictures, and how everyone looked so long ago.

I admit, she made fun of yours truly in a picture where I must have been about a year or so being held by my uncle --she said I looked like "Super Mario!" Very funny!


I felt like my niece was a private eye. She pulled out her new fangled phone and was taking pictures of all the pictures as if she was an investigator.


My aunt mustered up courage and was so strong all weekend long. She was cute telling everyone how she asked for courage and got it!

She was quite touched by the great turnout and how many people loved my uncle and love my aunt.


We were all holding it together until my aunt's little neighbor Rosa showed up after school and ran into my aunt's arms sobbing. Pulled out the Puffs and just let the faucets flow for a little...


My uncle looked wonderful. I must admit, there was more celebration and remembering rather than tears.

In between viewings, we went for the early bird special down the street and had a wonderful Italian dinner.

Funeral day--a mixture of laughter and tears. My uncle fed the birds and all of God's creatures. After the funeral mass, there was a little squirrel who did not want to vacate my uncle's hearse which made everyone burst into tears--we know he was there for our uncle.

And my sister was convinced that Uncle Bill took her earring, which she left on her night stand when she went to sleep but it was missing the next morning? Hmmm???

Proceeding from the funeral home to church, a man walking his dog made the sign of the cross as the hearse passed. Mom used to always do that too. A very touching moment, at least for me.

I thank my stars above that I was able to hold it together to sing my uncle's funeral Mass with the assistance of my friend and choir director, David.

Another wonderful bonding experience after mass at lunch with at least 40 of my aunt's dearest friends and relatives. A nice sign to her that she DOES have support and will forever.

And then on the way home, believe it or not, we buzzed through Lakeview Cemetery to view their Daffodil Hill. I was not sure how that would go over with my aunt who had just lost her husband but the vision so tremendous, it was well worth it.

Sunday: it's time to gamble and start living again. My aunt and uncle had not been able to go gambling in recent months so the family hopped in two cars and headed to Presque Isle to let it ride! Now, this was such a wonderful time for all involved. Logical way for my family to honor my uncle and spend quality time together! A day I will never ever forget and cherish forever.


It's true, tragedy pulls people together. I hope that once we get through this weekend, the closeness remains.