Boy, did the Easter Bunny dump a load....

As if there was not enough chaos in my life right now....

The Easter Bunny pulled a huge prank (and it's not even April Fool's Day anymore) and dumped a huge load in my lap.

Now, I know I don't have a huge blog following, and to those of you who read this, you may say, 'what's the problem?'

You hit the nail on the head!

I may write in this blog once a day, more than likely with my crazy life 3x a week if I am lucky.

That small opening does not really allow for anyone to get to know me...REALLY know me.

A good thing actually. I don't think I really want complete strangers to know every A, B, and 3 about me, my life and family. As I've said before, this blog's dual role is to continue sharpening my writing skills as well as pondering the great questions of the day or even entertain and bring a smile to someone's face every once in a while.

And I am within my rights to share, vent or pontificate a topic.

But, not really knowing someone or walking in their shoes or knowing what they are going through 24 hours a day does not give someone else the right to 'meddle' or 'think' they know another person's needs.

Frankly, no one knows what I have been going through for the last 4+ years....let alone the last 3 weeks with that crazy guy high on PCP crashing through my company's 'supposedly secure and gated' parking garage --UNDERGROUND --and totalling my vehicle. The man who totalled my car has stolen precious minutes /hours, time, sanity and peace of mind right out from under me over the last number of weeks...and it's not over. Many more hours of lost time AND $$$$$$ await in light of everything I still must do to rectify this situation.

My God and my Mother have been with me the entire time, through thick and thin. Thank God my Mother is better but 4 years ago she was extremely ill.....and though a handful of people have helped (thank you), their 3% is no comparison to the 97% to 100% I've been giving the last 4 years and beyond. I'm just as overwhelmed today as I was 4 or 5 years ago. Even though I have a wonderful life, I really gave up the life I knew and could have had.

We've had help over the years (thank you again) and I do have a few very dear friends I know I can count on, but come on, the masses were not beating down our door when the going got really tough....and still not today. Heck, I'm trying to spend a measly 48 hours with a dear friend....and it's like trying to move mountains and offer my first born (if there ever is a first born) to coordinate this cataclysmic event.

So who's bright idea was it that I 'needed' to reunite with my father? That's not what I need. Not even a blip on my list of things to do. And that's what I am talking about. No one knows what anyone else needs...so don't meddle.....

I'm really not sure what spurred this on....but what I do know is that after 20+ years, on Easter 2009, my father leaves a message saying he would love to come hear me sing at Church.

Again, many of you would say --great! Let him come and listen to you. And that's fine, he can, it's a free world.

But that ship sailed. He borrowed money from me, said he 'needed time to get his life together' and took off.....never to be heard from again....

Until now. A day late and a dollar short. Don't get me wrong. He's a nice man, he's my father and I would not be here today without he and Mom (who is my true hero!). We still send he and my uncle a Christmas letter each year. However, I am not overhauling my life for this man right now. My life is back-timed. Each precious second is already accounted for....

I am rejuvenating my life. I have a rich life just the way it is. I need to focus more on me....my health.....my God-given talents....continue giving 110% at my job.....continue spending quality time with Mom and her great come-back.....as well as my "Dave Letterman top 20 list of things to accomplish in 2009" drafted back on January 1, 2009.

More importantly, there are a number of people I love dearly who I would rather catch up with and spend quality time with.... I am so blessed to have great friends all over the world --grade school, high school, college and career-wise who, because of lifestyles traveling at warped speed, we've not kept up as we'd like, but we HAVE kept up....and when we see each other, it's like we've never missed a beat!!!!


I'm sorry. For those of you reading this right now, I must sound like an awful human being. Again, I do love my father. However, whatever the motivation and good intentions, he picked one hell of a time to resurface. Plain and simple: I don't have the time for him. I don't. My life is booked up with other pressing priorities that take precedent and really mean a great deal to me. I guess I am a bad person, because my father's name is not on that priority list.

I have some big projects I am working on over the next 7 months....and one that was not anticipated (my car situation), and frankly, I don't have the time for this unexpected development.


I just said to Mom yesterday, 'I will always be that 12 year old that everyone bosses around.' In fact, the few conflicts I've been involved in over the last 2 or 3 years were because of that factoid. On one hand folks tell me --"do what YOU want to do." And in their next breath they say, "do this, it's best for you!" And they tell ME what do to...what's best for me.


What's best for me right now is folks not telling me what to do....folks not meddling....folks respecting my wishes and my opinions, whatever they may be....and God giving me the energy, the strength, the courage, the patience, 4 extra hours each day, the perseverance, and the peace of mind to buckle down, take the bull by the horns, and continue crossing off MY to-do list which was drafted back on January 1, 2009.

Not the to-do list that everyone else and their brother 'think' is good for me and my happiness.

Happy Father's Day

I'd first like to say Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there! Honor your father and your mother.

It's nice to celebrate these special occasions, but I guess with everything I have been through over the last 5 years, we've learned to cherish each day and celebrate each day as if there were no tomorrow. Right now, EVERY DAY is Father's Day, Mother's Day, happy to be alive day, happy to be an American day, Easter Season & Christmas Season all rolled into one, treat others with respect day, fawn over people as if it were their birthday day, thank you for giving me life day, be kind to all day and the list goes on! I sure wish others had these same values!


But I would like to thank my Mother and my Father for getting together so that I am here today. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad divorced when I was a little girl, so I really don't know my Dad very well, or his side of the family. It appears to have been an amicable parting and I saw my Father on a regular basis as a little child. However, as I grew into an adult, he was not obligated to visit me anymore.

I've never felt jipped because my Mother has been Mom and Dad to me. She is an amazing person and has always given all of us more love than anyone could ever imagine...she also gave us everything we always needed and probably everything we wanted! She would do without so we had the latest clothes, the latest gadgets, a nice house and pretty much everything!

I did and still do feel bad for my father. He has really missed out on some great life happenings. He has never once heard me sing. I just thought about that last week as I was cantoring the Mass. He has never been on one of the fantastic baseball trips that Mom used to take us all on. We had some GREAT times and have hundreds of tremendous memories --not only from our baseball trips to other cities, but just to Cleveland Stadium, Jacob's Field and Progressive Field! He does not know the great friends I have from Hiram to my work friends. They are all the salt of the earth. And I think, maybe God has put great people in my life because I am missing out on the 'father figure!' My family, when we were all living together, shared great times every single day. We'd watch a movie and just laugh. We'd sit around the dinner table and something funny would come up causing my sister to start her laughing wheeze....To this day we'll all start reciting lines from 'While you were sleeping'! Unfortunately, with everyone being so busy and moving on with their own lives, there are not as many memories being made. But the memories I do have will last me a lifetime, and unfortunately, my Father has missed out on that aspect of our life.

And there were always great male figures in our family that were tremendous role models. My Uncle Johnny lived with us for a few years while he was on dialysis. He was amazing. He was a teddy bear underneath but always taught us the meaning of respect which came with his Air Force background. I wish I would have had more time with Uncle Johnny but the short time we did have together was wonderful! One of his greatest gestures to Mom was our Cleveland Indians' Season tickets. He, too, had a love for the game of baseball. That's one reason we really never want to relinquish them! Uncle Johnny is in our heart always, and when we are at an Indians' Game, we know he is right there with us!

Then there was Uncle Bill. We lived in close proximity for much of my life. He's still only 20 minutes away. He was and still is yet another father-figure to me. I remember when I was a little girl just walking downstairs (we lived up, Auntie and Uncle Bill lived down), knocking on the back door and bothering them all the time....having treats together....watching television (either thrillers like Perry Mason, or Hee Haw or a myriad of other shows).....going to shows or the zoo to see the monkeys.....playing with their cat BIDA.....going to the race track and watching the horses run....and to this day, buying him stuffed animals (cats especially) to add to his collection. The joke is that whenever we go somewhere, even if Uncle Bill does not go with all of us, he always winds up getting some kind of gift!

Two other uncles who also played a part in my growing up: Uncle Tommy (RIP) and Uncle Casey. Uncle Casey is still alive but living in FLA so unfortunately, I really don't get a chance to spend time with him. But the stories I hear and the great pictures of him as a little child are so adorable! I have really been blessed with having a wonderful family. There were so many other uncles as I was growing up. My Mother's family was so rich (not necessarily with money but with so many other wonderful attributes!)....and I am just pleased as punch and blessed to be a part of this family!

(Uncle Casey, Grandma, Uncle Johnny, Auntie Annette, Mom, Uncle Tommy, Grandpa)

Uncle Bill and Dani and Bida