Mom's hand print still present in my life

It's been 365 days and counting....since we buried Mom.

We've all lived through an entire year of experiences, events, relationships, fending for ourselves without the matriarch of the family.

I don't believe it will get easier.

I don't believe I personally will ever get over this life-changing circumstance.

That does not mean I have not continued onward.

Mom used to always tell me, 'we are survivors.'

And we were...and I am.

Mom enjoyed life to the fullest and I am sure expects the rest of us to continue that legacy.

The irony of this past weekend and how it played out tells the story.

We celebrated Mass for Mom Saturday and then the entire family gathered for dinner. Mass was beautiful. Behind the scenes up in the choir loft, Mom 'the jokester' had the upper hand as a number of mishaps occurred, though not visible or noticeable to the congregation. My choir director turned to me at one point as we held back the laughter & tears and said 'Your Mom's playing tricks on us today.'

I hope people see that part of her in me. Her eyes lit up a room and so did her smile. She openly loved her God, her family, her friends, and her life.

At dinner, the same fun and frivolity continued....I must say. Sometimes families feud. We all have. But, usually when we all get together, there is much more laughter, strolling down memory lane, and making of new memories than anything else. Just picture 7 people sitting around the table in a Chinese restaurant (that has a turntable on the center of the table) ....and much of the night all talking at the same time telling funny stories...good times!

Mom must have placed her hand on all of us this weekend to lift our spirits and remove our sorrows. I heard from a very dear friend of mine Saturday night. I was surprised to hear from him, yet overjoyed.

I know many adhere to the mantra you should make your own happiness and not rely on others. I am sorry. There are a handful of people in my life who DO make me happy. I get excited just knowing I may see or hear from them. They do bring joy to my life, whether they want to admit it or not. When I talk or see them, I can not remove the smile from my face or the twinkle from my eyes.

Well, that's this friend. And I thank God daily for him. God has truly blessed me.

Sunday much of the same, under Mom's watchful eye. The Browns had a bye week so I figured all right, going to get a lot done AND the Browns can't lose this week! Uh-huh. After singing all the Masses I heard from one of my best girlfriends who I met for lunch.

Then off in search of a bracelet that a friend of mine asked me to buy....he has a necklace for his sister and wanted a matching bracelet. I promised I'd keep my eyes open for the kind he's requesting.

While at the Mall, I got bamboozled to purchase a hair accessory, except the man selling me the accessory spewed compliments the entire time he fussed with my hair. Was he doing it to sell the item? Honestly, I don't think so. Now his tag team partner WAS just trying to close the deal on the purchase. I folded. I made the purchase. It was well worth the 40 minutes of compliments and hair fussing!

And because he detained me so long, I saw the most delicious sunset on my way home. The entire weekend, whole day had Mom's hand print stamped all over it.

Finally, handing out candy to the adorable trick or treaters brought it all to a perfect conclusion. We must have had at least 150 children, all cute and courteous saying please and thank you.

I must admit. As a child, Halloween was an ok holiday. It was safe to trick or treat with your friends....my sister and Mother always made me the greatest costumes....and we'd always make our way to Chaloupka's bakery for lots of free 'old time' candies.

As I got older, both Mom and I really disliked this Hallowed time for some reason. That's why when her funeral fell on Halloween, the irony of it all overwhelmed me. However, what we could never get over is handing out candy, oftentimes, to kids who may not have the easiest of lives. The look in their eyes, the smiles on their faces, and the gratitude in their parents' faces made the entire night so worth it all.

Thank you Mom, for yet another fabulous day. I know you are not physically here but I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I AM still here today because of you. Thank you for that and I love you so very much (I love you more!).