Never thought I'd be here

I have not been around for a while and you probably won't see me for a little while longer.

I do have eons to tell.

So much has happened over the last 3 weeks. A mix of wonderful, good, and so much more bad. Well, bad in my eyes as a finite human being. Actually, what has happened is joyous and liberating for Mom.

'Stuff' has happened that I never dreamed would materialize so soon.

Tonight, for instance, as I was shopping for something to wear to Mom's wake and funeral, I began thinking. Why do people buy black for funerals?

Now, I wear a lot of black anyway. Not sure why? I'm not a down person or morbid or sad. On the contrary, full of life and busting at the seams with energy!

However, black suits me.

Yet, I'm also a leopard, zebra, purple, blue, red and green girl.

So WHY am I looking for black? And why a black suit?

I NEVER wear suits anymore. I rarely wear dresses or skirts. Maybe when I become my svelte self again, I'll wear more of a variety.

I just can't see wearing something I normally would not wear to such an event. Straying from who I am to fit a mold or satisfy an image.

So, I'm opting to be myself.

Auntie did not want us to wear open toe shoes or flip flops so I will honor her wishes there.

Being me and the over-achiever I am, I'm sure I will go through a hundred outfits and try on each one before I choose the ideal one for Mom's wake and funeral.

However, I see myself wearing my new black pants, new black shoes and a top that is me and is who Mom knows me as.

And the same for the funeral. Actually, I have a wonderful pastel skirt that Mom just loves --purple, pink, white and black. Every time I wear it, no matter where I am, I get compliments --from men and women both.

Let's face it. This is Mom's day. Her last hurrah. I'd love to honor her by wearing her favorite skirt, my new black boots and a nice top. Something that Mom would say --'That's my girl!'