Oh Mom, how I miss you

The next few weeks surely will knock my socks off or kick my butt.

I'm embracing the change, the opportunities sent my way, and plan on savoring every single moment.

My work schedule has been changed for a few weeks while we cover vacations.

I greet the chance with open arms.

I used to fill in on this shift a million years ago....and because of the fortunate shake up I get to see my boys 8 games in a row.

My week with the Tribe kicked off with the Indians Hall of Fame Induction weekend, and Kenny Lofton coming back to town.

Mom should have been here. I'm sure she was. But, it was definitely not the same. I could not contain myself --sobbing, smiling, asthma attack or hyperventilating. Quite emotional for many in the stands, but definitely for me.

I can't describe and put into words my love of the game of baseball....my interest in the Cleveland Indians....and the memories my Mother and I (and my whole family really) have shared over the years with our Cleveland Indians.

Memories that will get me through the next 1/2 of my life.

Kenny Lofton always soft spoken and humble. He got fired up when he spoke of his love for Cleveland and the fans...and when he proclaimed that Cleveland WILL have a championship in the near future!

The 1st night of my stretch ended abruptly as my friend became sick and we had to leave the event early. Maybe for the better. I was quite emotional and needed some time to decompress. Though I always say I don't like going places alone, I do like traveling alone so as not to be pulled away from an event prematurely.

Sunday, more of the same. Cleveland Indians and then at 530pm a reception with dozens of Cleveland Indians greats.

Unfortunately, my friend was still sick and called me a bit too late for me to get another traveling partner. I was beside myself. I really wanted to take my friend Marc but it was too late. I should have just invited him initially. Live and learn.

However, I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

I mustered up the courage to attend this event alone and had an absolutely amazing time, even by myself.

I got dozens of autographs from the greats.....had a nice conversation with Dave Burba (who is a HUNK and 1/2, holy hell!).....told Mudcat Grant how I met him at 16 and he told me, "honey, if you still want to be a ballplayer at 18, come back and see me." Well, I outgrew my goal of being a major league ballplayer. I don't believe women and men should play together. Leave it to the boys. So I never went back to see him until tonight!

I saw the woman who threw Mom's 80th birthday party.

I was fortunate to sit in the audience for a special STO alumni round table taping.

And again, I cried.

Watching the interactions of Kenny Lofton and his best friend Sandy Alomar, Jr made me laugh so hard I cried. Seeing the interactions of Mike Hargrove, Sam McDowell, Sandy, and Kenny was the best, just the best. They are truly great people and I am a better person for choosing this as my hobby rather than some other pointless endeavor.

I did not want to be alone, yet cherished the opportunity to experience this memory-making evening and embraced the moment.

At the end of the night, I so desperately wanted to talk to Mom but knew she had been there with me the whole time and that is why I had the courage to face this experience solo. Next, I wanted to call an in-town friend of mine though he's been too busy to have anything to do with me. So, I can always count on my friend Craig and I talked off his ear until I arrived home.

As I drove off, there was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen.....I did drive off into the sunset on a magical evening.

Victor Martinez trade has pushed me over the edge

I knew it was coming.

I knew it was bound to happen.

The likes of Tampa, Boston, Detroit were all interested in Cleveland Indians' Catcher Victor Martinez, and why shouldn't they be?

He has been the one constant with the Indians through the years since 1996.

He has developed into a fine catcher, 1st basemen, power hitter, team leader, and morale builder.

Oh, but no, that's not what Cleveland Indians' Management is looking for....they want cheap labor.

Even though Baseball is "America's favorite past time," they have morphed in with every other business and have followed suit --kick out the veterans, those employees who gives 200 percent, who WANT to give their all to their company, and hire young, preferably cute, dimwitted individuals to work for free.

If I hear one more time, "it's just a business," I will scream out loud. MLB and the team owners have ruined the game. Because they continue paying many of the selfish stars whatever they want, they will continue desecrating this great sport. The owners should have banned together and said, we refuse to pay AROD and Manny what they want so they have to come down and keep it on an even playing field. The owners did this to themselves and unfortunately have irreparably damaged the game and the heart of the fans.

We did not have this problem back in the day when players made 100 dollars a game, were not afraid to pitch more than 6 innings and kept strong in the off-season by actually working for a living. And many players DID play with just one team because they were devoted to that team. The owners coddle the selfish players, pay them what they want even if they don't produce (Travis Hafner) and unfortunately, the good, decent honest players like Victor Martinez become collateral damage and ultimately they and their families get screwed.

All morning Friday, Mom and I were doing the countdown. T minus 5, T minus 4. By the time we got to 1:30pm, we thought we may be home free. But no. WTAM's 2:30pm newscast eluded to the fact that it was only a matter of minutes before Victor was packing up and heading to Fenway.

I thought I could weather this storm. Not today. Even with my wonderful weekend with friends last week to recharge my spirit, it's not going to work today.

I shed a tear. I could not believe that MLB and the Cleveland Indians' management team could be so heartless, so money hungry that hard work, dedication, devotion, and allegiance meant nothing.

Used to be you could make a deal with a handshake. Those days are gone.

Used to be you would take care of your dedicated employees who wanted to stay and give their all for a company. Apparently those days are gone as well. I throw up when I hear of companies who toss out older employees who may need a month, 6 months or even a year after a long and illustrious career with the same company just because they do not want to pay their pension, their health or give them a nice retirement package.

I chuckle at how one of the players we got for Victor is recovering from "Tommy John Surgery." He could make a full recovery and become a huge star, but let's face it, he could never pitch again. We are already starting way behind the 8 ball with everyone we have received for Cliff and Victor.

My Mom has been an Indians fan for over seventy years. I have been a die-hard fan for almost forty years. We know what we speak.

I wish Mr. Dolan, Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge would have followed in the footsteps of the Jacobs Family.

The players of the 90's STILL think of themselves as Cleveland Indians even if they moved on. The players of the 90's have only wonderful things to say about the Cleveland Indians' organization to this day--when it was run by Dick Jacobs and Mike Hargrove. Heck, Sandy Alomar, who works for the Mets now, slipped up in his interview with Rick Manning and Matt Underwood Friday and said he worked for the Cleveland Indians.

Now Sandy would be a wonderful manager or coach and that is exactly why he will not come back here--our current management staff and front office will never see what they have right in front of their eyes until it is detrimentally too late.

I admit it. I was more shaken by the Victor Martinez trade than any leading up to it this year, including my boy, Mark DeRosa.

As a true Cleveland Indian fan, it felt like Larry Dolan had just pierced a knife through my heart. I can never trust any management personnel again who has no problem looking you straight into the eye and lying to your face, and dispensing with you for no apparent or legitimate reason.

If it was not bad enough already, seeing the interview with Martinez as he breaks down and says he really hoped he would have stayed in the same uniform his whole career left me speechless. If that is not loyalty and commitment, I don't know what is?

Once I saw that, I had to press on still being at work, but it was difficult. It could happen to any one of us. No matter how much you give in this life to a family member, a spouse, an employer, you could be denied and disappointed and discarded for giving your all and doing a stellar job.

There is absolutely something wrong with that mentality.

I am not abandoning my Cleveland Indians. I abhor the Cleveland Indians Management Staff and Front Office. And God bless them if these moves eventually pay off in some way. I'm sure they will come back and make sure the world knows 'we knew exactly what we were doing when we traded away Cliff Lee and Victor Martinez.' However, they have betrayed my trust time and time again over the last 8 years. I will never trust this current management team again. If the Indians wind up winning, it's a win-win situation for all of us, but I don't have to like the top brass.

I will continue going to games because I really enjoy Cleveland Indians' Baseball.

Mom, on the other hand, does not want to renew our Seasons' Tickets. It will be very interesting to see what we do. In fact, being the vocal baseball lover she is, she has already contacted fan services & our ticket agent and told them they must lower their prices next year because she is not paying exorbitant prices to see a double A team!!! Go Mom! We've been Season Ticket holders since 1988 and the family has been going to games for over 70 years....

This was and is hard. True, it really has no bearing on my life except whether or not we opt to buy tickets next year and it is not a tragedy. But I refuse to let the unscrupulous antics of moronic individuals stifle my spirit, smother the life out of me, or keep me down for long.

Yes, I will continue to follow Cleveland Indians' Baseball. I WILL continue cheering for Casey Blake, Victor Martinez, Cliff Lee, Ben Francisco, Ryan Garko, Mark DeRosa, Rafael Betancourt, Jim Thome, Omar Vizquel and those who have a real history with this team.

I pray every day that ultimately good folks will triumph, that greedy SOB's will get their day, and that God gives me the strength, the peace-of-mind, and faith to lay my head down on my pillow each night having done my best knowing I have NOT screwed anyone as Larry Dolan, Mark Shapiro, and Eric Wedge do on a daily basis.