Never thought I'd be here

I have not been around for a while and you probably won't see me for a little while longer.

I do have eons to tell.

So much has happened over the last 3 weeks. A mix of wonderful, good, and so much more bad. Well, bad in my eyes as a finite human being. Actually, what has happened is joyous and liberating for Mom.

'Stuff' has happened that I never dreamed would materialize so soon.

Tonight, for instance, as I was shopping for something to wear to Mom's wake and funeral, I began thinking. Why do people buy black for funerals?

Now, I wear a lot of black anyway. Not sure why? I'm not a down person or morbid or sad. On the contrary, full of life and busting at the seams with energy!

However, black suits me.

Yet, I'm also a leopard, zebra, purple, blue, red and green girl.

So WHY am I looking for black? And why a black suit?

I NEVER wear suits anymore. I rarely wear dresses or skirts. Maybe when I become my svelte self again, I'll wear more of a variety.

I just can't see wearing something I normally would not wear to such an event. Straying from who I am to fit a mold or satisfy an image.

So, I'm opting to be myself.

Auntie did not want us to wear open toe shoes or flip flops so I will honor her wishes there.

Being me and the over-achiever I am, I'm sure I will go through a hundred outfits and try on each one before I choose the ideal one for Mom's wake and funeral.

However, I see myself wearing my new black pants, new black shoes and a top that is me and is who Mom knows me as.

And the same for the funeral. Actually, I have a wonderful pastel skirt that Mom just loves --purple, pink, white and black. Every time I wear it, no matter where I am, I get compliments --from men and women both.

Let's face it. This is Mom's day. Her last hurrah. I'd love to honor her by wearing her favorite skirt, my new black boots and a nice top. Something that Mom would say --'That's my girl!'

Will I ever see my best friend this week?

WOW!

My best friend is traveling into town from Tampa, Florida.

In my crystal ball, I see that I won't see him at all.

I keep telling him how I've changed and all of these responsibilities I have.

Well, it looks like he is getting a dose of my daily reality.

Our plans were askew from the get go.

I usually pick him up. That got re-arranged this year because of my ill relative's situation.

Will I ever see him this week?

Honestly, I have grown and changed, and realistically, there is something much more important to me now...

One tough lady

The last week has been challenging dealing with a relative's illness.

She is one tough lady. She deserves better.

I, too, have learned that I'm tough enough to deal with it and handle it even to the point of pushing down my blood pressure.

But, honestly, it sucks.

Am I ever gonna have someone to take care of me?

Someone I can really rely on?

Why does the baby have to be the strongest?

Make all the tough choices? The hard decisions?

Indians' season winds down

After Tuesday night's rain out, the Indians played yet another old-fashioned Twi-Night double header last night.

The last 2 home games of the season.

We were there. Could not pass it up no matter how awful the weather or tired our psyches.

And come on, Momma-cita will be having a milestone birthday in a few weeks. Had to get her name plastered all over the huge scoreboard wishing her a very happy birthday!

A time to say goodbye to our Progressive Field family and wish them an eventful winter and new year.

One last fling at the Terrace Club saying ciao to our attentive staffers who took very good care of us.

And seeing our boys take the field for the last time.

Well, they pulled out a split.

Always a bitter-sweet time for me, especially when we don't go to Postseason play.

Progressive Field is my home away from home.

If I could, I'd be there every single game of the season.

I am a baseball junkie, a Cleveland Indian baseball junkie.

I really enjoy watching the game and taking in the sights and sounds surrounding a MLB game.

I still stick to my convictions that the Cleveland Indians year after year have had a qualified team to take us to the post season. The coaching and management staff have let me down.

They have not prepped the players properly to get us to the big show.

Our young players certainly play with heart. They have some learning to do but they give it their all. That's a lot to be said seeing many veterans who think they have something owed to them just give the bare minimum.

I am going to go out on a limb hoping the off-season brings a new coaching staff to my liking....and say that the 2010 Cleveland Indians WILL make it to the Post Season. I know them. They've got heart!