Another week of family and emotions running wild

This week began a new era for all of us without our mother and father-figure.

It also set the stage for how we must all take care of auntie and be very attentive to her needs forever. This won't be hard since she has always been our 2nd mother-figure.

But the emotion-filled week ran so much deeper.

A good friend and fellow comrade for so many years left my place of employment. I personally will miss Mike more than ever. He's been a fine co-worker but moreso a friend. And he always smelled so good! I'm not speaking out of turn, I would always tell him to his face, which he adored!

We all got together after work Wednesday night to give him a fond farewell. A great send off which made for some memorable pictures to keep in our forever scrapbook.

Then Thursday I found out that I was nominated for 3 Emmy Awards. Honestly, this year, without Mom around, very honored to get the nod but compared to what's happened, awards seem quite petty compared to death and family and the serious topics in this world we live within. Nonetheless, very honored to have been chosen.

The Kentucky Derby is Saturday. Another strong tradition in my family --Mom and I would go to the racetrack and place Derby bets then stroll home and watch all the previews on the horses, jockeys, owners, trainers, sing the Old Kentucky Song and watch the race.

I will carry on these traditions until I die...that's what life is all about--NOT just talking about what we would like to do BUT DOING!

And then Sunday will be 1st communion where our cousin Sam is making his very 1st communion. Another day of family and friends which I am so looking forward to during this stretch of emotional weeks.

Family is important and always will be.

Cherish yours.

A week of closeness

After our uncle's death, we prepared ourselves for a very long week ahead.

I thank God that I knew exactly how to proceed to ease my aunt's burden just a little.

I sure hope I don't have to spring into action again too soon....after this loss. Please, a little reprieve.

Though we just had a death in the family, everyone remained upbeat and remembered the good times, the fun, the laughter, and my uncle's great jokes!

Normal drill: funeral home, Alesci's, flowers, plan the liturgy and pick the music, CD's for the funeral home, box of Puffs, water/pop for the family at the funeral home, get the pall bearers and readers, and decide where to eat after the service...among so many other things.

It was such a treat going through my aunt's old pictures in order to make picture displays at the funeral.

My niece, aunt and I went through boxes of pictures.

What a walk down memory lane.

I found the picture of me and my aunt 'going down Niagra Falls.'

A great memory for me!


My niece got a charge out of the old pictures, and how everyone looked so long ago.

I admit, she made fun of yours truly in a picture where I must have been about a year or so being held by my uncle --she said I looked like "Super Mario!" Very funny!


I felt like my niece was a private eye. She pulled out her new fangled phone and was taking pictures of all the pictures as if she was an investigator.


My aunt mustered up courage and was so strong all weekend long. She was cute telling everyone how she asked for courage and got it!

She was quite touched by the great turnout and how many people loved my uncle and love my aunt.


We were all holding it together until my aunt's little neighbor Rosa showed up after school and ran into my aunt's arms sobbing. Pulled out the Puffs and just let the faucets flow for a little...


My uncle looked wonderful. I must admit, there was more celebration and remembering rather than tears.

In between viewings, we went for the early bird special down the street and had a wonderful Italian dinner.

Funeral day--a mixture of laughter and tears. My uncle fed the birds and all of God's creatures. After the funeral mass, there was a little squirrel who did not want to vacate my uncle's hearse which made everyone burst into tears--we know he was there for our uncle.

And my sister was convinced that Uncle Bill took her earring, which she left on her night stand when she went to sleep but it was missing the next morning? Hmmm???

Proceeding from the funeral home to church, a man walking his dog made the sign of the cross as the hearse passed. Mom used to always do that too. A very touching moment, at least for me.

I thank my stars above that I was able to hold it together to sing my uncle's funeral Mass with the assistance of my friend and choir director, David.

Another wonderful bonding experience after mass at lunch with at least 40 of my aunt's dearest friends and relatives. A nice sign to her that she DOES have support and will forever.

And then on the way home, believe it or not, we buzzed through Lakeview Cemetery to view their Daffodil Hill. I was not sure how that would go over with my aunt who had just lost her husband but the vision so tremendous, it was well worth it.

Sunday: it's time to gamble and start living again. My aunt and uncle had not been able to go gambling in recent months so the family hopped in two cars and headed to Presque Isle to let it ride! Now, this was such a wonderful time for all involved. Logical way for my family to honor my uncle and spend quality time together! A day I will never ever forget and cherish forever.


It's true, tragedy pulls people together. I hope that once we get through this weekend, the closeness remains.

The call I was dreading

As we continue getting up in years, these calls will become more frequent.

Back from my reunion just 2 days when the phone rang at work with my aunt's caller ID--I knew what she was going to say before I even answered.

Shortly after 330pm, and Uncle Bill has died.

I knew what I had to do....fortunately, my friend and 11pm producer at the time, Dan, helped me gather up my belongings and pushed me out the door. His parting words--"You need to be with your family. Don't speed, we need you to get there safely."

I had not eaten all day and was about to pass out because I was shaking so.

I had a million thoughts going through my head and really had to pull myself together by the time I arrived to my aunt.

The minute I busted out of the parking garage, the tears began flowing and never stopped until I got to the nursing home.

I knew exactly what to do.

I was the first to arrive. I spoke with the nurses and then went into the room and sat with Uncle Bill holding his hand. I'm sure he saw that from heaven.


How could we be going through this just 6 months after Mom?


Well, we are and we need to be strong for my aunt.

I called my friend at the funeral home, which I have on speed dial.

The next hours went fast and furious as we had to say our goodbyes, meet with the funeral director to get info in the early edition paper, and try to process what was about to unfold for all of us again.

I was touched by how my aunt's neighbors ran over when we pulled into the driveway.


I'm sure glad tragedy pulls people together....because we are going to need it......

Never found the wild horses, but found so much more!

I can not do justice to the wonderful four days I had with my college buddies in a simple blog entry.

Suffice it to say, I'm ecstatic God gave me my dearest friends and a perfect weekend to spend with all of them.

I must say, my flight was so early I never went to bed...that was interesting!

I really thought my trip was doomed from the start by a few daunting signs.

As I was traveling to the airport, I thought, "hmm, did I close the garage?" I could not go back. It was before 5am in the morning so all I could do was text my neighbor and hope that when he got the text, he'd check the garage and he'd find it closed!

Believe it or not, there were quite a few folks gathering at Cleveland Hopkins Airport at 530am bright eyed and bushy-tailed!

I ran into the sister of a dear friend, which brightened my spirits and assured me that the weekend would be a success.

Then my second sign almost shattered me.

While sitting on the plane waiting for take off, my rosary busted into 3 pieces. I was sure we were going down.

The cross and 2 other chunks just came apart.

Being superstitious, I tried keeping positive. Come on, I like Friday the 13th, black cats, and horoscopes. This could only be a good sign of better things to come.

And it was.....

Surrounded by 8 people who I love like family and would do anything for and who in turn loved me for me and not what I did for a living, what I drove, where I lived, whether I wore designer clothes or the good will special, or my 'voluptuous' figure....

The flights were bearable. The clouds fascinating. For those who do not believe in a higher being, just take a look at Mother Nature's cloud formations.

My first stop was almost instant. There was no layover. I immediately had to race to the next gate which gave me a Charley Horse in my left leg --but I had 4 days to nurse it back to health!

I was so proud to pass a Hugo Boss store in the Newark Airport with all the press we've given them in Cleveland over the recent months.

As many of you know, I'm the biggest Cleveland cheerleader, but I am sorely disappointed in Cleveland's airport. I have traveled all over the world and it seems every airport is much better than CLE.

CLE has a Dunkin' Donuts where two people can share a good bye.

A whole slew of other airports have real restaurants where you can sit down with your loved one, share a meal, share a final moment before you have to go through security and be on your way. CLE --you've let me down!

Next stop: Norfolk.

I was humbled and speechless with a tear in my eye as I walked thru the Norfolk Airport seeing soldiers meeting their loved ones, saying goodbye to their families.

I just about burst into tears knowing that these brave Americans were on their way to protect my security or had just come back from defending the United States of America.

Grabbed my rental car which had Sirius Radio. Oh, the rosary incident is only bringing good fortune my friends!

And I am on my way on this beautiful morning for the Outer Banks of North Carolina!

A wonderful drive. I arrived before anyone and had extra time to sight see, soak in the sun, grab a bite to eat at a local mom and pop restaurant (especially since I had not eaten in nearly 14 hours), take pictures, and drive along the beach.

I called home to tell them I arrived safely and make sure if anything happened to my Uncle, they would call.

The next 4 days consisted of sun, sand, the beach, cocktails, love, laughter, beautiful sunsets, sightseeing, delicious meals, shell collecting, picture-taking, catching up, rest, relaxation, no work, no cantoring, getting up when I wanted to, and trying to gain a little of my sanity back!

The only unnerving moment was stories up at the top of the light house looking out at a breathtaking view and Tim's camera case plunging down to the ground. My knees quite weak and I had to get my sea legs back.

One night we searched high and low driving on the beach for the elusive 'wild horses.' They continued eluding us but I found something much greater: the reassurance that these people I had surrounded myself with the entire weekend love me more than I knew and they would be there for me forever as I for them!

Tug of War

I've got this Tug of War going with myself, believe it or not.

I'm supposed to be meeting with 5 of my dearest college friends this weekend in a mini-reunion which we've had planned since last July really, yet my Uncle seems to be getting a bit worse every single day.

Everyone, and I mean everyone says 'GO!'

My Aunt even consulted with one of my Uncle's doctors asking his advice & professional opinion and the doctor said 'tell her to go.'

If something were to happen, I have no regrets.

I am so close to my Aunt and Uncle....spend time with them.....after Mom, they were my 2nd set of parents my entire life.

Every since my Uncle has been in and out of the hospital over the last month, I've gone to see him as much as I could.

My friends tell me this will be a much needed time to re-charge my battery--and they want to see me!

How can I resist that argument --hardly ANYONE says "I really want to see you" anymore in my life.

OK, sold! I've briefed the appropriate people as to where I will be, how to reach me, I'm just a plane ride away, and God forbid, if something happens to me, what to do.

Riding off into the sunset for a few days, peeps....and hope to have some amazing stories to tell when I return!

Play Ball!

I was determined to make Opening Day the perfect day --win or lose!

I began the day by attending early morning Mass, scheduled for Mom!

What a better way to honor her and start the day, Opening Day, then by celebrating Mass.

No work.

A beautiful day weather-wise.

Spending the day at my 'home away from home.'

And sharing "Opening Day" festivities with two very good friends.

I knew Mom would be on hand--but I could not have asked for two better people to spend the day with --on this very emotional day.

This is the 1st Opening Day I've been to without Mom. Honestly, the game is secondary to the spring of emotions that flushed through my body all day long.

Surreal.

I took a rapid, which Mom and I have not been able to do for years.

The whole family used to take the rapid to the Indians, Cavs, and Rockers Games all the time. But in recent years, not even an option.

I had to drop off a package at the Indians' Executive Offices, and saw, yet another dear friend who works the front desk.

What a treat to see 'old friends.'

Not even to our seats yet, Bob, our usher, greeted us with a huge hug and escorted us to our seats.

It's like God planned out the day perfectly knowing it was not going to be an easy one --but he cushioned it from start to finish with a whole lotta love!

Seeing Sandy Alomar, and just being back at Progressive Field for the start of baseball season brought tears to my eyes....

The outcome may not have been to our liking, but the experience was amazing!

Humbled by my new friends

I was honored to be invited to a new friend's 50th birthday party.

We have a few friends in common which is how we became friends about a year or so ago.

Bob and Lisa are amazing people--talented, honest, caring, funny, and have the most exciting lives I've ever come across! Yet, they don't act it. They are down-to-earth and quite grounded.

My friend Kim told me this party would be exquisite --she did not lie.

From the ambiance to the food, the champagne, the multiple birthday cakes, the diverse company, and never-ending laughter--a perfect night had by all.

Bob's speech truly brought tears to every single person in the room.


I'm just humbled and blessed to have the acquaintance of so many wonderful people and ever in-debted to God for putting us in each others lives.


One thing I will never get over and never be comfortable with is compliments.

On one hand, it's wonderful to be complimented --yet for some reason it creeps me out!

Bob and Lisa kept telling their guests what a beautiful voice I have --though I love hearing the accolades, I really get so embarrassed.

I think this is something I will never get over.....hearing it from two tremendously talented people like Bob and Lisa brings a tear to my eye and gives me a reason to continue using my God-given gift.


Again, it seems at the end of each day, I must look up to the Heavens and thank God for not only living through the day, but for the great people and gifts he has let me share that day.

They're closer than you think!

I LOVE getting the oil changed on my car.

Fortunately, knock on wood, that's all I have to do right now!

It gives me a reason to take treats to my auto body shop and see their eyes open wide because someone thought about them in the midst of their ridiculously hectic day...but more importantly, I get to see Ken, the guy who sold me my car.

I make a point to stop in and take him treats as well!

Being so close to Easter, I took them all Easter candy and some of the home-made Bohemian delicacy I attempted to make!

For that 1/2 hour, Ken, who is one of the nicest people I've ever met, lets me vent or share or just talk about nothing! He knows the stress I've been under.

We catch up on each other's families and stop trying to solve the problems of the world for a little while!

Poor Ken! He had quite a spill at Christmas and was out of commission for a little while. But, he's a trooper! He hardly skipped a beat.

I'm quite lucky.

And I am finally realizing that there are more important things in this life than sticking to my day planner, crossing everything off of my 'to do list,' cleaning the toilets, or even washing my hair every day!

Life is good.

It's all moving way too fast

It's all moving way too fast.

From just 2-4 weeks ago my Uncle being at home.....to having a family meeting about moving him into a nursing home-hospice.

All the memories and feelings from 5 months ago come streaming back as if it were yesterday.

And all it proves is that life is fragile and totally out of our hands.

With that in mind, there are many responses:

• Live every day as if your last
• Live it up never worrying about consequences, money, responsibility
• Speak your mind
• Speak the truth
• Never go to bed angry, resentful, mad, or with regrets
• Always tell everyone you love "I love you"
• Don't look back
• Cross every item off your bucket list
• Follow your heart
• Follow your dreams
• Don't let ignorant people hold you down, bully you, upset you
• What's the point in making plans when tomorrow will never come?

On the day we are remembering one Uncle's birthday, we are discussing the future of another.

Oh, Lord, give us the strength to get through this and the faith to believe it's all happening for a reason.

Happy Easter!

I'm so proud that we've been able to successfully celebrate each holiday /holy day as if we would when Mom was alive.

We have not skipped a beat!

Holy Saturday played out flawlessly with last minute baking, cooking and then the blessing of the food! I took the liberty to toss in a few family pictures and a few other important mementos with the wine, cheese, butter, salt, meats, eggs, candy, breads, horseradish, and so much more!

Then taking the baskets to church with candy-filled plastic eggs for all the kids attending all of the Easter services. I'm sure their parents will be so thrilled!

You walk into church and immediately are overcome with the beautiful scent of all the lovely flowers. Every Mass was delightful. And it's always nice to see people who may not come to Mass that often, or attend other churches but love OLP and come home for the really special occasions.

Easter Sunday just a beautiful day!

The only flaw is that Uncle Bill is in the hospital. My Aunt and I visited with him for a while before we headed to our big family dinner. It's hard to see someone you love sick, with really no chance of ever getting better.

Unfortunately, my family has seen this too often. I know, when you begin getting older and everyone around you is even older, it's a way of life. I'm glad I've been able to visit with my Uncle regularly! Uncle Bill is our 'father figure.' He always has been and will always be. It's very hard seeing our 'father figure' dying so soon after Mom passed away.

It was nice spending the day with the family again out at the farm. There were even more chickens this year than at Thanksgiving. And little Sereta.

It was a very late night. Later than I expected. Too much food, as usual.

Most of the stuff I made DID taste like Mom's --except the bread which did not rise quite as much but everyone was very nice pretending to like it! Aw, just toss it in the toaster with some butter, and it'll be fine!

Trust me, even with all the adversity over the last 15 months, I know how lucky and blessed I am....and thank God every single day.

Easter preps in full swing

Never a dull moment in this household.

Sometimes I wish there was!

We are in the midst of Holy Week--the holiest week of the year for us.

Along with all of the solemn remembrances and services, we've got some cooking to do!

Not gonna let this year go by without attempting to make everything Mom made at Easter.

Will it taste the same? Will it even look the same? Time will tell.

Mom may be gone physically, but I know she wants me to continue our traditions, continue living, and carrying out all of the religious observances so near and dear to our hearts.

Forget about the house and making any headway on cleaning or decorating. Heck, I still have all of my Christmas stuff up. That will not come down until I have a free weekend to sort through every Christmas item, organize, and pack it back up to be placed in our Christmas closet until next Christmas season.

In the midst of filling 300 plastic eggs for our church kids and lots of cooking and baking to finish up over the next 48 hours!

I think I can do it.

I must do it.

It's tradition. I refuse to let a day go by without honoring Mom, her legacy, trying to make her and God proud and continuing on with life as I think it should be played out.