There's a purpose, at least for a few weeks

Yes, I'm a bit revved with a purpose, at least for now, and the next few weeks....

Was it my mysterious texter who will probably be just that, my elusive texter? Maybe. Whatever revs me up, I'll take it for the moment.

Yesterday I treated myself to a well needed extravagance which will suit me just fine when I'm enjoying the sand and sun in FLA next week!

Every single day this week and next, the crack of dawn will be calling my name to cross important tasks off of my 'to do list.'

Normally the most organized in the bunch, I've not lost that trait, it just hides at times.

The list girl! Guilty as charged! Every day I wake up to a list of things that must get done, that should get done, that it would be nice if they did get done, and then of course those tasks which can get moved to the next day, the next week.

I must take care of things for my niece's wedding shower, for a baby shower happening when I get back from vacation, and of course packing for my Memorial Day break! These are all non-negotiable.

I really feel good like I have a handle on this as well as my fitness...as I've been going at least 10,000 steps each day. I'm pumped and loving life right now! Thank you Jesus!

Ground Hog Month? Again

This month is turning out to be a carbon copy of May 2010, which on one hand is a heavenly thought, yet on the other hand, a rocky omen to what turned out to be a total let down, wind out of my sails happenstance in 2010.

On the bright side, my fitness, toning down movement continues in the right path.....not at the swift pace it had been traveling, but it has not stalled. I'm progressing toward the -40 pound mark and am quite proud at my accomplishment to date, but what's even more exciting is how my family and friends seem to be even more excited and proud of me and continue giving me the needed encouragement necessary to keep this project alive!

A bittersweet comparison: I still have my LIVE Christmas tree up surrounded by the rest of my Christmas decorations. If my tree is still alive, why take it down, right? But, a con is that I'm in the same rut I lived last May, and don't have any zest or drive to do anything including packing up my Christmas decorations for the year.

On the plus side, this is a month with many family celebrations....birthdays, Mother's Day, the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, remembrance Masses for family members, which allow all of us to gather, feast, laugh, and spend quality time together making new memories.

Teetering back to the dark side, it's Mother's Day. I miss my Mom more this year than last year. Those who said it only gets better may have been speaking for themselves solely but should not speak for others. 2011 has been an extremely hard year for me in every respect. This Mother's Day is 10x worse than 2010, especially the week leading up to the commemoration.

However, I made a vow when Mom passed never to skip over a special occasion, holiday, birthday, tradition, or event we'd all share. I'm very into keeping all of our family traditions alive until the day I die.

I waver back and forth with the single - attached status as well. There are days I totally enjoy being a bachelorette being able to go and do what I want when I want with whom I want....last week leisurely walked around the Farmer's Market enjoying the beautiful weather and the sights and sounds.... however, I'm thinking of my niece's upcoming wedding and am dreading going alone.

Then poof! As happened 1 year ago to the date, I began getting text messages from someone I never expected. It happened in 2010 to rev up the back end of May 2010, bringing me back to life....and it happened this May. I was speechless and stunned. But for the moment, I will savor it, take it all in, and just accept what is happening.

It's amazing how so few words can inject so much life into someone.

But yes, it appears that they were just words with no substance or meaning behind them. My friend, who I've actually been familiar with for a million years (as my Aunt always says!) & I reconnected on Facebook amazingly enough. I met this lad doing a commercial promotion shoot for work years ago. He's been on my radar ever since but I'm fairly confident I've never been on his radar, until recently.

Why on the radar now? Still not quite sure about that answer, but I won't refute it. This past weekend, we actually made a date to get together. Yes, a formal date. I should have known it was too good to be true.

I had dinner with the family and timed it out perfectly so that I could get home, change, and be ready for 'the date.' I'm still scratching my head whether he ever intended to meet me or .....He was quite convincing .....as he kept pushing back the meeting time due to a family emergency (which was legit, I checked).... I couldn't let the adult cocktails and hor doerves go to waste.

Everything happens for a reason right? It was quite funny actually. My girlfriend was worried about this 'date' so we had worked out a code should anything go awry and I need assistance....well, I gave her the 411 on how the night panned out, and though it pained my mind, it eased her's immensely!

Fortunately, the day after the miffed 'date' was another family event which as usual lifted my spirits and got me looking to the future....especially a future filled with baseball, my niece's wedding shower, and a jaunt to see my Tribe on the road soon.....oh there is hope on the horizon!

You have no idea

I'm blessed to have 'guardian angels' interspersed in my daily life on a regular basis.

One that God unexpectedly plopped into my life is the nice man and I believe forever friend that sold me my car after the awful mishap way back when....

Of course, he immediately hit it off with and just loved Mom, but who didn't!

And, because of his tutelage and amazing treatment from day 1, not a visit to the dealership goes by without me popping in to say hello to all the guys, bringing treats, and my pal nicely blocking out time from his busy schedule to visit with his friend!

I think, at times, I know more about the man who sold me my car than some of my friends I've known for nearly a lifetime. It's that one-on-one speaking that we set aside for 1/2 hour or so every time I visit. It's NOT an email, it's NOT a text. It's what I love most -- speaking in person to a friend and visiting, catching up, or making new memories.

I simply can not believe what he did for me the last time I had my car serviced. Needless to say, he went above and beyond the call of duty for me since I needed to leave my car overnight in order to get to work on time. For a fleeting moment, I actually felt like I imagine movie stars and athletes are treated regularly.....I walked into the rental car store and was greeted like royalty. They had my car ready, bent over backwards for me, and could not do enough to make sure I had everything I needed.

I used to get that treatment when accompanying Mom, but never on my own.

Until today. And this may be my one and only time I feel like this! ha ha.

I realize it's a business transaction and if the customer is happy, they may come back for more.

But there is something with my agent, Kenny, who really does go above and beyond. If that means he's the best salesman around, then he is and he does his job like no other. But, there is that human side, that compassionate friend which most sales people really don't have (at least sales people I've run into who give you their scripted pitch, day in day out).

I'm blessed to have run into this person during the course of my lifetime. God knows exactly what he is doing every minute of every day. Every move has a meaning and a reason. We can waste valuable time trying to figure it out, can actually fight some of God's moves or sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!

I love being a passenger in God's delicious sportscar traveling those back country roads, top down, Sirius Radio blaring!

Interesting April

Yes, my friends. I am quite behind on updating and posting my blog entries.

Turns out, my computer is not properly configured so I can write my entries but can not post them, at this time. Work in progress, high priority assignment!

I've been stockpiling posts and then need to activate from another computer.

Just imagine if I actually knew the ins and outs of a computer, I could actually think about using it as a second career?!?!

We experienced quite an interesting March and April to say the least.

As you may know, a dear friend was in town both months nursing a hernia and then a broken foot. He had strict orders not to fly back to the land of sunshine. Bittersweet times. Loved having him back, but not so much under those horrendous circumstances. I believe we made the best of it and did get to spend quality time together catching up and sharing new experiences.

If he did not believe I've changed since Mom's death, he does now. Just because a person does not physically change does not mean they don't grow and mature mentally and emotionally or change their spin on life after a traumatic experience. I believe, with many of the demands placed on both of us, we saw how we've grown over the last few years--especially the night his Mother's washing mashine overflowed and jammed up and I was the only person who could venture downstairs to solve the problem. Amazement radiated from his eyes seeing my calm, cool, and collected demeanor in solving this problem with a smile on my face. I must admit, I had a little coaching and help from Mom on how to "Macgyver" the problem. And it worked!

He returned to FLA just after Easter. I still stand by my feelings that he being home to spend time with his Mother on her 87th birthday as well as Easter for the 1st time in 6 years was a blessing in disguise.

Lent and the anniversary of Uncle Bill's death also brought much family time.....which was enriching and welcome.

Lucky to enjoy many family dinners, whether at my sister's or Muldoon's before we saw my nephew perform out in Collinwood, or after Uncle Bill's Mass. Auntie ventured over to help me cook all of our Easter family traditions! After she left, for some reason, I continued going crazy and baked waaaay too much! I could not stop baking, which made my family, friends, and co-workers very very happy!

Maybe I was letting off steam missing Mom so much more this year for some reason than last year. I don't understand how everything this year has been so much harder than the 1st year she was gone. But, you can't question it, just deal with it and try to proceed as best as possible.

This Easter (straying from tradition), coupled with the fact that my ill friend would be leaving a few days after Easter put me out of sorts. I knew I probably would not see my friend Craig for the rest of 2011 and that didn't quite sit well with me.

Also, due to circumstances beyond my control, no one came over to Mass at my church or heard me sing.....and our Sunday dinner changed a smidge. I know I have to roll with the punches but everything landing on my shoulders overwhelmed me....

God has a way of honing me back in, and thankfully, he did.

And so did my Cleveland Indians. Thank goodness we are in the midst of baseball season. My 1 vice, my one extravaganza, my one obsession that always calms me down (even when they lose) and brings me back to a peace-filled existence.

At month's end, after my friend safely arrived back in FLA and I was an overstuffed Kolachy, the universe began aligning again and all was right with the world!

Baseball matinee

It does not get much better than this!

An Indians-Red Sox matinee out in the open air with the sunshine god holding me in the palm of his hand.

I guess I am a loner, though I don't want to be alone forever, especially when I get old.

I enjoy hitting the ballgame at noon alone under the pounding sun in the open air, temps in the 70's.

There's nothing like watching Major League Baseball to get your juices flowing at the same time relaxing your mind, heart, and soul.

I hate to admit it, but not having a spouse or children at this juncture, this is one of my only true joys. I guess my Cleveland Indians are the children who bring extreme joy to my life.

My Mother used to tell me I was her everything, her reason for living who brought her total joy.

Well, I understand now what she was talking about.

In the course of a 3 hour baseball game, I can run through the gamut of expressions and emotions--and usually do.

There were more people on hand that have been at any game I've been to all season, except for opening day. What an exciting day!

From the very young to the very old sitting side by side enjoying the pure game of baseball. The players from both teams giving it their all. Sometimes outstanding defense and a pitching gem totally outshines a mammoth homerun.

Thursday's game simply awesome. An Indians win 1-0 still allowing me to get to my next event on time.

It really doesn't get much better than this.

The only thing that would have made it come close to perfection is either Mom sitting next to me or the man of my dreams enjoying baseball as much as me.

The shy girl always winds up in the spotlight

Never fails.

The shy girl always winds up in the spotlight, at the center of attention in extremely uncomfortable situations.

It's quite funny. I am very shy yet when I say that to my close friends, they gawk and balk at me.

When and if I get to know someone, you can't shut me up.....

Normally, I'm quiet as a mouse. I think people don't want to hear what I have to say. I don't tell great stories. I don't know a single joke. I'm not a smart ass always coming up with the funniest put down or zinger. I am not too keen on details and an awful public speaker.

I abhor going out to bars or restaurants alone. I refuse to dine alone or just sit at a bar unless I am meeting someone.

I'm ok with going to a function that means something to me and dealing with the folks I may see or meet there.

So what in the world possessed me to meet some friends for dinner, and bring my emmy award?

The story behind the story. A dear friend of mine and I chatted last June the night we found out we had each just won an emmy award. The word spread and mutual friends we have said they wanted to treat us to dinner.

Fast forward 10 months later and, tada, we all were finally able to sync our schedules and meet for a delicous multiple course dinner at Blue Canyon. The one pre-requisite: Kim and I had to bring our emmy awards because the chef had never seen one and no emmy had ever entered Blue Canyon.

Let me tell you, trudging into a restaurant with a big bag containing an emmy does not keep the shy girl out of the spotlight. Chef Brandt was overjoyed to see them up close and personal. We took pictures and had to keep them out on the table during our meal.

And what a meal we had! Mom and I had been to Blue Canyon a few times before. The food is tremendous! But I must admit, when the chef himself keeps coming out to make sure we are good and everything is going well, quite a night! We all got different meals, different desserts so we could taste and share. And every single morsel of the 5 course meal rocked my world! Oh, I will definitely be back (without emmy).

Yes, it was a blast! Mostly because I was with 4 dear friends who I just adore. Bob, Lisa, Kim, and Amanda are 4 of the nicest people you will ever come across. The fact that I have the privilege of calling them friends such a bigger honor than all of my emmy awards combined!

Opening Day Weekend 2011

I adore the game of baseball.

I get that cherished gift & interest from my Mom. She bestowed that gem on our entire family. She received the gift from her father, my Grampa, who my Aunt says took them to see the Indians when they were all just small kids. In fact, Auntie has some of the fondest memories of her dad taking her to a ballgame, and getting -- a hot dog. Having a ballpark hotdog with authentic baseball mustard watching a game with her Dad = priceless.

To the normal fan it's a game, maybe a day off of work, a time to share a few beers with friends. To me, it's so much more.

On Opening Day, the memories come gushing back spanning my entire life --baseball memories I've collected over the years with Mom, my sister, Aunt, and the kids which will be with me forever. We have thousands and thousands.

I truly enjoy the game of baseball. Oh yes, there is nothing like winning baseball from your favorite team but I'll support them rain or shine, win or lose. I was part of the smallest crowds the Indians had Opening Day weekend 2011. It didn't matter because the weather was beautiful, baseball is back for the next 7 months, and I saw progress and hope in the current players taking the field. The Indians have always had scrappers. Guys who come to play with their A-game. They give their all, no matter the outcome.

The normal 'joe' fan looks at the daily paper and sees the final score. That's no way to watch or follow baseball. Watching every intricate play tells the story. Even in a loss, you can see how hard the guys played, glean the many bright spots, and still gain pleasure from our National Pasttime.

Opening Day Weekend 2011 brought old memories back to life and formed new ones.

The entire weekend began with a memorial service for the best pitcher in baseball, Bob Feller, who recently passed away. What a tribute. It was a beautiful memorial service recalling many memories. Though many of today's pitchers are quite talented, I believe we coddle them too much. There is absolutely no comparison to the pitchers of Bob Feller's time and today. Those pitchers way back when played for love of the game. They made no money. They had to get real jobs in the off-season, which kept them strong and tone. They could pitch a complete game and the next day be called upon again to pitch another one. None of this "You can only pitch 102 pitches and then I am taking you out no matter how well you are still pitching!"

Bob Feller also sacrificed his career in baseball for the greater good of his country, which he loved so much....and while serving his country, put his life in harms way every day he was in the military. He is proof positive that if you do the right thing and stick to your beliefs and passions, it all works out.

Then Opening Day weekend 2011 against one of our hardest opponents, the Chicago White Sox. On the bright side, our old friend Omar Vizquel buzzed back into town. I would love to see Omar come back to play or better still to coach one day. He always claims he has a special place in his heart for Cleveland and Clevelanders.

Besides the outcome, everything else was near perfection. Pre-game festivities honoring Bob Feller chilling. 3 huge banners were hung on the center field wall. Every single player wore the #19 jersey for pre-game and introductions. Then Mrs. Feller placing a baseball on the pitcher's mound for the silent 1st pitch. And then the balloon launch as we screamed 'play ball!'

I adore the videos the Indians' play on the scoreboard --they always move me. 2011 will not disappoint. So far, the videos have been tremendous...and yes, the tears came streaming down.

I was at the game with 2 friends who get it. They love the game of baseball as much as I do. 1 of them I consider to be one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world....the other person is a friend I've reconnected with on fb after oh, maybe 15 or so years. I could not have asked to be at opening day with 2 better people who realize the pureness of this game.

Of course, Mom was with us in spirit....and will always be at every single game with me. I firmly believe that she is the Indians' biggest guardian angel. They may not have gone far last year, but things are looking up.

Good friends all know my passion for the sport and how important this game is to me. I received text messages and facebook messages all day and night long wishing me 'happy opening day,' 'I know this is like a holiday to you, have fun,' and other gleeful salutations!

Another dear friend moved away in the beginning of the year. I must admit, I was a bit bitter for a smidge of time. And I do so miss him soooo but I will not let this season go by without keeping in close proximity with him to talk, message, text baseball week in, week out!

Even though the Indians lost the official opening day game, I did not feel bad. I had just seen a major league baseball game outside in the open air under beautiful weather with 2 good friends. I'd seen an exciting game from both teams. That's how I roll. I don't feel bad anymore. I know how blessed I am to be able to watch this game and enjoy every single pitch.

The Indians wound up losing their 2nd game but pulled out a huge win on Sunday. Both games were quite exciting. At least, I had a blast both days. I saw very good friends at all of the games....enjoyed balmy temps.....and can't believe how lucky I am to be able to watch my favorite team play my favorite sport.

I have a really good feeling about this team. Most people admit there are so many players they have never heard of, don't recognize, don't know where they came from.....I am proud to say I not only know the players, recognize them when I see them, know what position they play and their numbers. When you follow a team and their minor league teams, you follow the entire team. It's like watching a child born and follow their progression through teenage years into adult hood. I absolutely adore everyone from the veterans to the youngsters to the newer players we recently acquired.

I admit, I'm nowhere close to enjoying the game like Mom. She'd amaze me game after game as she totally remembered a player's stats without looking up at the big score board....she'd remember what they did last game....and in the entire series. She knew every pitch every player threw...if he was a ground ball pitcher or flyball pitcher. I adored my Mother in every way for who she was and what she instilled in me...not only with the game of baseball but life in general.

I'm no Marianne, but no one is or ever will be. I am striving to be like her and put the same passion into the game (of baseball & the game we call life) as I hope to get as much enjoyment out of both!