Everything happens for a reason

I was discussing Tim Russert's passing with a few people who were amazed at Luke's demeanor. He was on 'The Today Show' only a few days after his father's passing. He did not 'appear' to be grieving in the 'normal way' people grieve.

I tried but could not get my point across (which is normal). No one knows how the next person feels inside. No one knows how one deals with grief or sadness. I dislike the phrases "I know what you are going through" or "I know how you feel."

Every human being handles life's situations differently and uniquely--whether it be joy, hardship, terror, ecstasy, or whatever emotion. We all have our own little quirks. Some handle adversity better than others. Some run from hard times. Some fall flat on their face. Some let us down. And then there are those that come out even stronger and triumphant.

From everything I have heard, read and seen about the kind of person/father/husband/friend/co-worker Tim Russert was, I CAN understand Luke's display. His father told him he loved him every single day of his life. There is no greater gift.


On a personal level, my Mother is still here today after some rough times. She tells me she loves me every day and at the end of every phone conversation --as do I!


I know some people on this earth don't think others can change.

Well, I am a living, breathing, walking example that people can change and for the better! I have changed over the last 5 or 6 years. I have always believed that people should evolve daily, as we learn from our life experiences, mature, and try to find out who we really are and want to be. It's amazing what changes us and brings us around to what is important in life. I've also always believed that good things come out of tragedy.

My dog died. I grieved for over a year.

Of course, Katie's death happened around the same time my best friend moved to Tampa, Florida. I was in a horrible tailspin. I gained a lot of weight and was in a deep depression. Then my Mother became very ill, battling lung cancer and other ailments. She almost died at least 3 times. The tailspin continued and there was no light at the end of my tunnel. I felt alone and as if I had no one to turn to. The one person I really needed was 2500 miles away.

Well, I never gave up. I have great friends who helped me get through the rough times. And frankly, traveling to the hospital everyday before work and trying to keep everything going was enough to make me work harder and keep my head above water.

Through it all, and possibly because my Mom has given me some really tough genes, all of this adversity, these hurdles, and what appeared to be an awful run of luck made me even stronger.

I realize that life is fragile and out of our control. I put my life in God's hands every day and know that, whatever happens, he will never give me more than I can handle.

I celebrate life, as Luke Russert does.

It's not worth ever feeling sorry or grieving over something we have no control over. We must just live life to the fullest, cherish every moment, love those around us, TELL those around us we love them on a daily basis, never have any regrets and CELEBRATE LIFE!

TIM RUSSERT FUNERAL son LUKE eulogizes- prez hopefuls 6-18

George Clooney's flower inscription says it all, 'There are no words.'

Russert Remembered on Meet the Press

Not a dry eye in the house--in studio or at our house.

When the opening shot of this morning's meet the press showed an empty commentator chair, you knew it was going to be a heart-wrenching 60 minutes.

A wonderful tribute to a brilliant broadcaster and a wonderful human being. Each second was absolutely riveting.

People of diverse backgrounds coming together to pay tribute to a man taken, in our eyes, before his time.

When moments like this occur, very humbling. They show us that ultimately GOD is in charge. No matter how much we want to think or believe we hold the reins, times like these tell otherwise.

Tim Russert, in my eyes, was an icon. He came from a town similar to Cleveland in many ways. He adored family and grew up Catholic. He was taught by the nuns and the Jesuits and never strayed from his religion or his beliefs. He carried a rosary in his pocket at all times and was not afraid to proclaim he was Catholic, even when and though the Catholic religion was being persecuted by so many.

He loved the game of baseball. Another plus in my book.

He loved life and lived it to the fullest. He worked hard BUT made time for his family (which was his top priority) and enjoyed life.

Everyone should look at the life Tim Russert lead and take heed. We should learn from the way he lived while here on earth but also learn that life can be plucked away at any moment, so we should live life to the fullest. We should live each day as if our last.

Love family and friends, no regrets, stick to our beliefs and convictions, and keep that playfulness and love of life in our hearts, always!

Tim Russert, you will be missed but left a wonderful legacy for all of us to emulate and live by.

Happy Father's Day

I'd first like to say Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there! Honor your father and your mother.

It's nice to celebrate these special occasions, but I guess with everything I have been through over the last 5 years, we've learned to cherish each day and celebrate each day as if there were no tomorrow. Right now, EVERY DAY is Father's Day, Mother's Day, happy to be alive day, happy to be an American day, Easter Season & Christmas Season all rolled into one, treat others with respect day, fawn over people as if it were their birthday day, thank you for giving me life day, be kind to all day and the list goes on! I sure wish others had these same values!


But I would like to thank my Mother and my Father for getting together so that I am here today. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad divorced when I was a little girl, so I really don't know my Dad very well, or his side of the family. It appears to have been an amicable parting and I saw my Father on a regular basis as a little child. However, as I grew into an adult, he was not obligated to visit me anymore.

I've never felt jipped because my Mother has been Mom and Dad to me. She is an amazing person and has always given all of us more love than anyone could ever imagine...she also gave us everything we always needed and probably everything we wanted! She would do without so we had the latest clothes, the latest gadgets, a nice house and pretty much everything!

I did and still do feel bad for my father. He has really missed out on some great life happenings. He has never once heard me sing. I just thought about that last week as I was cantoring the Mass. He has never been on one of the fantastic baseball trips that Mom used to take us all on. We had some GREAT times and have hundreds of tremendous memories --not only from our baseball trips to other cities, but just to Cleveland Stadium, Jacob's Field and Progressive Field! He does not know the great friends I have from Hiram to my work friends. They are all the salt of the earth. And I think, maybe God has put great people in my life because I am missing out on the 'father figure!' My family, when we were all living together, shared great times every single day. We'd watch a movie and just laugh. We'd sit around the dinner table and something funny would come up causing my sister to start her laughing wheeze....To this day we'll all start reciting lines from 'While you were sleeping'! Unfortunately, with everyone being so busy and moving on with their own lives, there are not as many memories being made. But the memories I do have will last me a lifetime, and unfortunately, my Father has missed out on that aspect of our life.

And there were always great male figures in our family that were tremendous role models. My Uncle Johnny lived with us for a few years while he was on dialysis. He was amazing. He was a teddy bear underneath but always taught us the meaning of respect which came with his Air Force background. I wish I would have had more time with Uncle Johnny but the short time we did have together was wonderful! One of his greatest gestures to Mom was our Cleveland Indians' Season tickets. He, too, had a love for the game of baseball. That's one reason we really never want to relinquish them! Uncle Johnny is in our heart always, and when we are at an Indians' Game, we know he is right there with us!

Then there was Uncle Bill. We lived in close proximity for much of my life. He's still only 20 minutes away. He was and still is yet another father-figure to me. I remember when I was a little girl just walking downstairs (we lived up, Auntie and Uncle Bill lived down), knocking on the back door and bothering them all the time....having treats together....watching television (either thrillers like Perry Mason, or Hee Haw or a myriad of other shows).....going to shows or the zoo to see the monkeys.....playing with their cat BIDA.....going to the race track and watching the horses run....and to this day, buying him stuffed animals (cats especially) to add to his collection. The joke is that whenever we go somewhere, even if Uncle Bill does not go with all of us, he always winds up getting some kind of gift!

Two other uncles who also played a part in my growing up: Uncle Tommy (RIP) and Uncle Casey. Uncle Casey is still alive but living in FLA so unfortunately, I really don't get a chance to spend time with him. But the stories I hear and the great pictures of him as a little child are so adorable! I have really been blessed with having a wonderful family. There were so many other uncles as I was growing up. My Mother's family was so rich (not necessarily with money but with so many other wonderful attributes!)....and I am just pleased as punch and blessed to be a part of this family!

(Uncle Casey, Grandma, Uncle Johnny, Auntie Annette, Mom, Uncle Tommy, Grandpa)

Uncle Bill and Dani and Bida

Slammed

This new dialysis schedule, work, trying to keep everything else afloat, and the tropical temps have me slammed! However, I am trying to get back on track with my daily updates, rants, experience sharing, and overall semi-wise words of wisdom!

Aren't you all in trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Mayer: Say (music video from

Life is too short. I have many regrets from my younger days when I let people push me around...when I listened to folks who I 'thought' knew what they were speaking of or who said they knew what would make me happy...when I was so fearful of my own shadow, I jipped myself of some great life experiences.

I've learned a lot over the last 5 years after being tossed head first into an ice pond and being told to learn how to swim FAST!

Not saying what you need to say, feel you need to say, want to say, are yearning to say is a mistake. I do not make that mistake anymore. I may ruffle feathers by speaking my mind at times, but in my heart of hearts, I speak the truth and am at peace.

At this time in my life, I like or love everyone, have no enemies (at least on my end) and go to bed at night at peace knowing I gave 100 percent at work, and did the best I could everywhere else!

Cheers!

Mr. Exhaustion is here (wish it were Mr. Big!)

The entire year has been a whirlwind. Ok, I lied. The last 5 years have been a whirlwind dealing with illness and then 2 and 1/2 years of hospital visits....

Hoping that 2008 would bring a little good news, a little time to 'catch up' on everything I have gotten behind in over the last 5 years and just maybe, get a head!

No can do. The last 4 weeks have been kicked into high gear...as Emeril would say, 'kicked up a notch!'

And Mr. Exhaustion finally found me. I would have loved for Mr. Big or even Smith to have found me! Maybe Samantha's LA neighbor!?!?! Yea, that would have been great! But no, down for the count for a few hours today. Thank goodness there was nothing big going on, because I was dead to the world.

And then back to reality. Whether we want to or not, the hustle and bustle is back. Have to get back on the merry-go-round or the running treadmill and hope that I don't fall flat on my face as I begin, yet another hectic, week ahead...

Have a great week everyone and enjoy the warmer weather! Cheers!