Grand Slam kinda day

Least favorite holiday weekend

2011-09-06T01:49:00.008-04:00

When I was a little girl, Labor Day weekend was tolerable. On one hand it meant I'd build a fort in the living room and have my own sleepover watching the Jerry Lewis Telethon all night long. At that time it was more entertaining though it included its share of inspirational stories. However, I'm not sure that they had as many stories to tell or share. That's where I became acquainted with so many stars, entertainers, musical groups, and really broadened my horizons learning so much in that 24 hours. I think I also gleaned my passion for music and dance at that time.

By Labor Day weekend, some years school had not begun. Other years, it had just begun and we already had a boat load of homework which I'd just plug along through all night long.

Labor Day Weekend meant the end to summer, which saddened me. Still does today.

There were a few bright spots through the years. Labor Day weekend meant the Cleveland National Air Show and Cleveland Indians' baseball. My Mother, God love her, wanted to be a pilot and even skydive. Well, she never did either, but I'm sure she's doing them both now that she has entered Heaven. Uncle Johnny was in the Air Force. Wherever we'd go visit him, we'd stay on the Air Base with him surrounded by planes, Air Force personnel, and that regimented way of life.

I can only imagine what it must feel like being a pilot because watching the beautifully intricate maneuvers of the Thunderbirds and Blue Angels brings chills, tears, and wonderment every single time. It never gets old and never will.

What would be perfect would be sitting at old Cleveland Municipal Stadium during the air show so you not only saw the ballgame but planes buzzing around the entire time --many times scaring the bejeebers out of the ballplayers at prime times during the game.

No matter all the good memories, the summer coming to an end always made this particular holiday weekend bittersweet.

Looking back over the last 5-7 years, Labor Day weekend became more depressing. I'd usually ask for the day off, mainly so I could take Mom to a different dialysis session, then she could rest up a little and if she felt up to it, we'd hit the Indians' game. While Mom was at dialysis, I'd do a little cleaning. Well since I've not really cleaned since Mom has passed, the house is really due for a fall cleaning session this year.

Very stress-filled moments and days lead up to Labor Day 2011. I was not looking forward to this weekend at all but was going to try and make the best of it. Cleveland always has exciting events & fun stuff happening year round. Labor Day weekend kicks it up a notch with a bazillion festivals including the Great Geauga County Fair, the Oktoberfest, the Air Show, baseball and many newer happenings such as the Taste of Hudson, just to name a few.

So I, though broke, was determined to try something new every single day. My mantra has always been 'you don't have to have money to have fun.' I truly believe that fact.

Saturday, my nephew's band Founding Fathers played at Market Square. It was simply a beautiful summer day. Family first! I ventured over to Market Square and enjoyed cheering on my nephew and his fellow band mates. They are wonderful! I had front and center seats on the curb right in front of the band. It was perfect. And my heart was filled with joy as I watched people walk by dancing to the music, especially this cute little boy and girl, who could not have been more than 2-4 years old, dancing up a storm to my nephew's music. So proud. In between sets, I buzzed around The West Side Market. What an absolutely divine day! I've been visiting The West Side Market my entire life which included familiarizing myself on the main stands there through Mrs. Donley's freshman colloquium class. You don't even have to buy anything. Walking around people watching all day satisfies the soul. I did buy some fabulous chicken because I decided to try my hand again at Mom's famous breaded chicken and fine tune my mashed potatoes, should I ever have to whip them up for a potential new beau (he said mashed potatoes are his favorite, nothing else, just a huge plate of mashed potatoes!). Nothing tops off breaded chicken, homemade mashed potatoes and corn like a nice Molson Ice! Living the life, I'm telling you!

So far, so good on this bittersweet weekend.

Sunday could not have turned out any better. I headed down to work where I had a front row seat of the Air Show AND the Cleveland Indians' game WHILE I worked out in the gym! Pinch me. I've been trying very hard to get a great work out in every day and so far, so good! Sunday night, though I did not really have plans with anyone, I ventured solo to the Taste of Hudson. A new experience for me. My co-workers' band was playing at the event and later that night Michael Stanley and Tommy Dobeck. How could I go wrong?

Sure enough, I ran into a few other co-workers, heard phenomenal music all night long and even ran into one of my dearest grade school buddies. I could not have asked for a better night! Well, I could have, but I did not want to be greedy and press my luck! Wink, wink!

Through this all, in the back of my mind, unsettled thoughts of a dear friend who is going through a really rough time....yet I am trying my best to deal. God does not give us more than we can handle at one time. And in Sunday's gospel and homily Father shared that if no one else loves me, God does. The Lord calls us to imitate Him. That is what I am striving to do. Uplifting thoughts this bittersweet weekend.

Added to the mix, we just found out that a lifelong family friend is on her death bed. Again, all we can do is pray for her and her entire family.

I can not complain about anything. Compared to what my new friend is going through with his Mother passing away and our family friend who is preparing to see the Lord, I have absolutely no right to feel down about anything. Adversity and life in general puts everything into perspective. Mom taught us to do God's will and be there for our friends (well, she taught us so much more, all good!).

That said, I am human. I may know in my head what to do but my heart says something else. The Labor Day Weekend up 'til Monday was fantastic. But there was that underlying presence of stress and a heavy heart. Let's face it. 2 people dying. Summer coming to an end, which for me at this particular time is a symbol of a new budding friendship which unfortunately, has been cut short and is coming to an immediate end forever.

Monday I was heading to the Indians' game with a co-worker-- a very cool guy who I really enjoy spending time with who makes me laugh.

As we walked to the game, he suggested popping into the bar across from Jacob's Field for a shot of Whiskey! PERFECT idea. I told him, if the Indians win, this must be a regular tradition. Regardless, it took the edge off of my stress-filled week and made for a phenomenal end to Labor Day Weekend 2011. The Tribe lost but I had an awesome time at the game with my friend laughing and enjoying my boys of summer! Jacob's Field is my home away from home!

All in all, Labor Day Weekend 2011, even with the stress and sadness, had its glimmering moments. However, this will never be a favored holiday. No matter how great the weekend may be, at the very end, you are always reminded that the summer is coming to an end....fun times are slowing down.....and the cold harsh winter (which could be construed as the cold, rough times of life) is right around the corner. Grrrrr.

5 games plus Jim Thome: Pinch me!

2011-08-28T23:39:00.005-04:00

I'm determined to get my life back on track, take care of me, and continue scratching duties off of my overwhelming 'to do' list.

It was an amazing beginning....the hard part will be continuing on the straight and narrow.

Out of the goodness of his heart, a dear friend who used to help me with Mom has taken on the task of being my personal trainer. He's absolutely awesome! I worked out with him all week long...and am back down below what I weighed when I turned 40 years old. I've made such great strides I never ever want to ever find myself back where I was -- which is 40+ pounds heavier.

Not only have I revved up the workout schedule, but I saw five Indians' games last week, including the return of the beloved Jim Thome! Two weeks ago, I'd never have believed that I was so into my workout schedule and that Thome would be an Indian again.

I guess miracles can happen and anything is possible.

The day that boosted me over the top was the day-night double header. Walking back and forth from Progressive Field is an amazing workout in itself. Walking back and forth 4 times in one day with a rigorous hour long workout in between just blew my mind, but I did it and felt so pumped up at the end of the day, not to mention, I caught a foul ball at the first Indians' game --that REALLY revved me up!

Let's try and keep this streak going.....not only the baseball streak but the workout as well as organizing a pretty messy life which is a great life, but in total chaos at this very moment! :)

Tangled in a spider web, sinking in a sand trap

2011-08-21T23:21:00.003-04:00

Against my better judgement, I've gotten sucked into the huge spider web and can't seem to find my way out. Or I feel like I'm sinking in a sand trap.

Though I'd rather meet someone in person, get to know them, and make new memories 'THAT' way, I've gotten roped into the way kids today talk: via texting.

I enjoy conversing with my new text buddy but my head is spinning. We chat like buddies then we have crazy conversations like we are more than buddies.

Frankly, I am confused. We've discussed soooooo much, I do feel as if I know him. I do feel akin to him and I've told him absolutely EVERYTHING about me. I can share anything and everything with him. I feel so comfortable with this fellow human being. But there is no freaking way I should let myself get attached to anyone until I meet them in person. That has not happened thus far and every time I ask if it will, there is no definitive answer and I wind up in the dog house.

Last week after I received a text of six little words, I actually ran to the bathroom at work and threw up. Yes, it was stupid. First, ridiculous thinking I knew what my text buddy was saying in the context of a text. I will be the first person to say text messages are meaningless. They are words that could go anyway and you don't know what they mean until you hear them in person.

Second, to get upset over a guy is going against everything I believe in--no one should get upset over a guy via text, over the phone or in person.

Yet, yes, I feel close to this kid. I so would like to start a friendship, friends only situation, with this awesome individual. There have been dozens and dozens of signs over the last three weeks convincing me that we should be friends. I believe in signs. When two people text the same message to each other at the same time, it's a sign. That's what happened one night during a thunderstorm. When in casual conversation I shared the random fact that I love the smell of Skoal Wintergreen and that's his brand, I take that as a sign. When I tell him one of my favorite beers is Molson Ice and he is drinking that beer at the time, that's a sign. There have been so many other coincidences that I can not let this friendship go, not just yet.

Not sure what's swirling around in his head about me? I'd like to think he feels the same bit I just don't know.

Yes, I got so upset over a guy it made me physically ill. It was an absolutely chaotic hour. And what really gets me is that I was messaging a friend of mine....and my text buddy was responding to the texts I was sending my friend. That irked me a bit. I wanted to talk to my friend in confidence and it appeared as if she was sharing my situation with my text buddy by his responses to me..... not good.

It was a crazy 48 hours filled with emotion. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this situation. All I can do is first and foremost pray to God and Mom to help me, to give me the strength to do nothing and put this situation in their hands off of my shoulders. Next, I just need to be me, be the person Mom taught me to be, be a good friend and a good Christian and hope that in the end, I will have been a good friend to my new text buddy.

They have tons happening in their life, but so do I.

Fortunately, Saturday night, when I received another text that seemed like our friendship had been disbanded I was with two very very good friends who told me how lucky I was, who reminded me they and so many other good people are in my life and conked me on the head telling me how absolutely blessed I am.

I would not in any way shape or form hand back the last 21 days for the world. I've enjoyed conversations with my new friend. I've enjoyed meeting, if only via text, someone that 3 weeks ago wasn't even a blip on my radar. He has made me smile every single day for the last 21 days. I've been on cloud 9.

God is good. I need to keep saying that....God is good....God is in charge. What will be will be and God never ever hands us anything we can not handle.

At the very least, this summer in my life --May thru the present, will make one hell of a romance novel! Thank God I've been taking notes and jotting down the most important memories! Whew hoo! I am the glass full girl and I, of anyone, know how to make delicious lemonade when handed a basket of sour lemons! HA!

We need more cowbell in the rain!

2011-08-15T10:48:00.005-04:00

The last week has been one I'd never ever imagined, concocted, or even scripted in a dream in a million years!

Just the simple fact that I have a new text buddy who, most of the time is amazing.....yes, we've had a few rough spots but always seem to get back on track.

I had a schedule change due to vacations. A very nice change of pace! And honestly it seemed I was at the station MORE because of it as I would work, work out and then hit the Tribe game! Going to the Indians' games has become beneficial to my health as well as a great source of pleasure! I park at my office and walk over to Progressive Field. Those days I get a workout in, BONUS! The days I don't, I still get a nice downtown walk going!

One of the days I worked I totally overslept! I NEVER do that. I jokingly the day before told my relief to call me if I wasn't in at a certain time....sure enough, I jinxed myself. I got up 18 minutes before I was supposed to be at work! I called him and said, dude, I'm up but I may be a few minutes late!

God was truly on my side. I threw on an amazing outfit, gathered my lunch, and headed to work. I made EVERY SINGLE LIGHT! I was not speeding but it was a different shift than I normally work and the light pattern had changed. I got to work only a few minutes late and knew that I owed God a HUGE HUGE favor!

And then it was the Feast of the Assumption weekend! A family tradition! Sunday I went to the Indians' game which wound up being rained out and postponed. Even in a delay, I had the most delicious time at the ballpark. We played a few innings--David Huff was pitching a doozy! Then the skies opened. So I ventured up to the Terrace Club and just sat in my place on the floor watching other MLB games! 1/2 way through the delay, the most delightful little boy and his father came over to sit by me. He was a doll! We had the best conversation about beginning school and his lunch breaks at school....and how the administrators are quite annoying with how they quiet people down and get attention. It was absolutely awesome! He shared his fishy crackers with me and then when the couch opened, offered me a seat next to him on the couch!

He really was a doll and reminded me of my friend's adorable little boy, who hopefully one day I will meet.

Finally, they called the game and off I went to change for the Feast of the Assumption. I was NOT going to pass this up.

There may be a little rain in the air but it's tradition. I needed to get my Italian food fix on and light the candles we light every single year at Holy Rosary church!

I changed and headed down to Little Italy. I was meant to be there! It all came together! I was supposed to meet two friends but they got chased away by the rain. I wound up seeing my sports producer and his friend! Then I saw an old colleague, Commander Tom Stacho. I did my normal walk around and taste and squirrel away food to take home plus I grabbed some to give to my Aunt when I saw her at mass the following day....

But my highlight, besides lighting the candles and saying a little prayer, was visiting my friend's fried dough stand! ALWAYS a delight! And this year just made my week!

In the meantime, my new pal and I had been texting back and forth.....it was nice. But I was on a mission and he was going to have to wait. Especially after the skies opened again.....one downpour and I put up the umbrella. It lasted about 5 minutes and away the umbrella went! I went to Michael's stand and saw he and his lovely wife and children. After talking just a few minutes the skies opened yet again...but this was furious and would last longer. So he ushered me under his stand to safety and we all talked, shared memories, caught up, feasted on fried dough and made new wonderful memories.

At one point, it was apparent the rains would not be stopping for a while so the band in the center of the venue started playing to entertain those stranded.....and that's when the fun really began. A stand two down from Michael's had all of these instruments --cow bells, horns, tambourines, anything you could imagine. They started doling them out, passing them down so that everyone could play along with the band! It was magnificent. The kids had the most fun of course! This vivid image that will last with me forever IS truly what makes new memories --surrounded by friends, family, tradition, and the guts to live life to the fullest and make lemonade when you are handed lemons!

U crazy kids & ur texting

2011-08-14T01:07:00.005-04:00

I still have the old archaic phone. I'm ok with that for now because I don't have enough money to get a new one and I don't have a job or position that requires me to be attached to my email 24 hours a day.

I did up my texting plan because every single guy I've met this Spring and Summer seems to want to text rather than talk on the phone or meet in person.

What is it with young kids and guys and texting rather than having a heart to heart conversation?

I'd much prefer talking to someone on the phone so I can hear their emotion, their inflection, and get a detailed rundown of a conversation rather than abbreviated words to get a possible point across?

I'd much rather be in the same room with someone holding a conversation with them as we get to know each other, fire question after question immediately as it pops in our heads without that delay from "oh wait, I have to type on my cell phone the proper response" only to have the person on the other end misconstrue what the heck is being said.

I've been speaking with a new friend for a few weeks via text. For some reason, he doesn't want to speak on the phone. He's had much adversity in his life just since I've known him so I totally get why we've not met in person yet plus our schedules have not meshed. But one of my mottos is if something is important to you, make it happen. I personally would have stayed up really late or gotten up really early to accommodate his schedule. I've found that guys soooooo do not do that for females. Or maybe I've just not found the right guy who thinks of the girl first.

I must admit some of our conversations, scratch that, pretty much all of our conversations via text have brought me great joy, smiles from cheek to cheek and much laughter. You could even say they bring butterflies to my belly and fireworks! So yes, speaking via text has the same effect as in real person but it's quite weird. My friends will ask, "Have you met him yet?" I say no but we speak for hours on end each and every single day. They say, "He needs to ask you out on a real date." And I concur.

My older relatives say "Whatever happened to picking up the telephone and just talking?" Yes, I agree with that too!

But at the end of the day, looking back at some of the texts of the day have made me beam, have brought butterflies to my stomach, and have made me want to press onward with whatever 'this' is.....

If I'm having a bad day, looking back at an old text will brighten my day. It's quite amazing.

We have gotten to know each other on many fronts via the text method....but there is sooooo much left out there for us to explore and learn about each other.

We've even shared nice pictures so both of us know what the other looks like....

Since we've been talking we've said goodnight every single night and good morning every single morning. It's simply wonderful. But I miss that one on one in person communication. I really crave that right now. Just friends everyone. I just want to meet this new friend and pal around, watch a game, watch him play hockey, share a pizza, or anything innocent just to get to know each other a bit better.

Unfortunately, his mother has become ill so he had to head back home to Vancouver. Something that I can say has never ever happened to me is having a hot man text me that he had to climb up on his roof to talk to me. My pal told me before he left that reception is awful at his Mom's home. I really did not expect to talk to him for a week or two while he was tending to his Mom. Then poof --one day at work I received a text that just made my week. He said he had to climb up on his roof to talk to me because he wanted to talk to me. I admit, my heart melted over and from a text message. And yes, I can understand how this mode of communication can not only be easy for those who have a hard time speaking but easier to say what's really on your mind ....and yes, brings great joy as well.

With the good also comes the ugly. I don't even know this guy yet we've had a few 'arguments' via text. I did not think they were arguments or even worthy of cross words but apparently the person on the other end of the text mistook what was being said, twisted it, and hence WHY I would rather speak via the telephone or in person! VOILA!

I do vote for the phone and in person. I fear that will not happen for a while or ever. But for now, I'll take this mode of communication.

And I thank God every single day for my new text buddy.

Congratulations Colleen and Jeff!

2011-08-09T12:09:00.004-04:00

What a whirlwind week! It began just over a week ago as I met someone new, if only through texting....but the real buzz of the first week of August were all the preparations for my youngest niece's wedding!

We've known it was coming for months yet it's been action packed with shopping and hair and nails and final preparations for the big day!

Colleen and Jeff are simply perfect for each other! They definitely complement each other and the love exudes for all to see.

It was a no brainer when Jeff entered the picture that he was truly a member of our family even before the official reciting of the vows of matrimony.

So Monday I got a dress.....Tuesday I shopped for accessories for my adorable party dress including amazing matching shoes, a wrap, a clutch, and a few other items. I usually hate shopping because that constitutes spending money which I never have. However, this trip to the Mall rocked as I was texting my new friend the entire time. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile. Those 2 attributes are quite important to me.

Finally, mission accomplished! It was only Tuesday and I had everything I needed for my niece's wedding! I contemplated Spanks --NOT happening. Those are awful. They are made for women who are thin and don't need them. There is absolutely no freaking way someone like me with a belly can yank those suckers up around my belly and hips. Thankfully that company has the rich and famous thin models brain washed into believing that they need them so those rich folks can spend all their money!! HA!

Got the nails done.....finally, THE DAY!

Colleen's vision and planning for this wedding simply amazing. She did everything! She was in charge of every idea, every decoration, every final flower and candle placement. We all gathered at Manakiki Saturday morning to put the final touches on her big day. Yes, there were many nerves inside everyone but that's expected. The bottom line, we did it. We set up the three rooms she and Jeff were using for their nuptials. Everything looked beautiful. Could not have had a better day or place to tie the knot.

After a quick lunch....and giving Colleen an early surprise gift: her long lost Elephant hat which we purchased in Canada about 25 years ago, we were all off to get our hair and makeup done.

Then back to the venue for the real deal.

Everything went off without a hitch. It was a bit warm but it was perfect and every single wedding guest had the most memorable time. Colleen was so worried it would rain. It did but God (and Gram) had everything under control.

During the wedding ceremony, which was outside under the trees and sky, you could hear the rain but no one ever felt it. God made it just so that it cooled the day, and enhanced this miracle about to occur, but did not affect it in any way shape or form! It was simply perfect. And at the conclusion of the service, the rain ended, the sun came back out and it was party time!

We all danced, sang, and ate the night away surrounded by close family and friends under the beautiful Cleveland sky....Sara gave an amazing speech and Colleen had the most delicious lemon cake made just for family. Honestly, everything was P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

I concluded my day talking to my new buddy......and then meeting Colleen and Jeff back out at Manakiki Sunday morning to finish cleaning up and fetching last minute items we'd left the night before.

I royally pissed off the golfers as the management let us park at the snackbar doorway to load our cars. Oh, well. Get over it! As one final parting gift from Manakiki, the girl Colleen was working with gave us the most delicious grilled hotdogs I'd ever tasted! MMMMM.

We all gathered at my sister's to unload and reload and eat, for there was a ton of food left over from the wedding, and more importantly visit with my friends, "the girls" --Colleen's 2 chihuahuas!

I could not believe how exhausted I was but everyone was......I headed home and took a nap.....Sunday was pretty much a wash out!

And fortunately my boss gave me Monday off due to me working the following weekend.....every minute of that 4-day weekend was definitely needed to recoup from the wedding of the year!

I raise my glass to two of the nicest, classiest, most adorable people in the world: Colleen and Jeff....and love you so very much! I am blessed to have you both as family! I love you! XOXO

Love,

Auntie Dani (one of the coolest people you know)

My new friend has calming effect on me

2011-08-04T01:24:00.004-04:00

Holy moly!

Not even a flooded sun room and busted fridge can rattle this girl who has been talking non-stop to a nice, new, charming friend.

We spoke for hours on end last night....I finally went into the Sunroom around 430 a.m. to find a flood! No. I did not freak out. I matter-of-factly assessed the situation, got my sham wows to start mopping up the excess water and make sure my computer system was not submerged.

Well, some computer wires were damp so I asked for assistance on Facebook before I had to unplug myself from the world.

I moved the love seat, unplugged everything, got all the computer stuff to safety, texted my sister to call me when she awoke and texted a great friend who is a computer whiz.

Still not rattled. Thank you new friend.

I finally got the water up and laid down more sham wows.

I needed a few hours of sleep so I napped on the love seat until my sister called and my computer friend called me too..... I asked my sister to put an addendum on fb for folks who can help to call me since I was unplugged! My computer buddy was gonna be in the neighborhood so he was going to try and stop by as well.

I contacted Sears who said they'd be out in 3 weeks. No can do. I called a local mom and pop fridge fixer and boom --God was on my side. They were actually in the neighborhood! They fixed my problem ipso facto pronto! My very good friend put my entire computer system back together. I am ever so indebted to him for the rest of my life! I really do have good friends and Mom as my guardian angel always watching my back.

Never did the smile leave my face through this adverse situation. Thank you new friend!

Breath of fresh air

2011-08-02T00:56:00.003-04:00

God works in mysterious ways. I've been very unlucky this Spring and Summer in the man department and a few of my girlfriends are not happy about how a few humans of the opposite sex have treated me.

One of my pals said, "I'm gonna find you a nice boy." Well, she just may have found a great boy.

After hemming and hawing, I told her she could give her friend my phone number and sure enough, he texted me.

What a gem! I don't even know him and am 'in like' with the dude! He's absolutely perfect! I'm not really going to say much more because I'm sure I'll jinx it and this time next month, I'll be back to crying myself to sleep or very disenfranchised with the male persuasion. But for now, I have a nice new friend who I really enjoy speaking with and sharing things and getting to know.

He won me over in the first 5 minutes....especially when he said I needed a change of scenery from my bf's --my Cleveland Indians -- because hockey players are much better looking! He IS simply P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

As I said, God really works in mysterious ways.....and is always totally in charge.

Ervin Santana's no-hitter

2011-07-28T23:20:00.004-04:00

I can't believe I witnessed a no-hitter. Pumped!

Just as unbelievable as the reception when I arrived into work.... everyone expected me to walk in wearing black mourning the no-hitter just pitched against my Cleveland Indians! When they saw my eyes beaming and heard me talking a mile a minute so excited, jaws dropped to the ground.

I tried explaining that when you go to the ballpark, if you see that your team is not going to win, the next best thing is witnessing history. That my friends is what happened on July 27, 2011 as The Los Angeles Angels' RHP Ervin Santana pitched his 1st no-hitter. Now, ironically, the Indians DID score a run but got no hits. Quite the exciting game (though UGLY for my Tribe with 5 errors). David Huff pitched yet another gem with nothing to show for it except a loss. I was 1 of 21,546 fans to experience a historical sports moment. Would not trade it for the world, even though the Indians came out on the short end.

Just a superb day at the ballpark all around! And when the 9th inning hit, the fans left, myself included, began cheering for Ervin Santana to successfully achieve this great feat.

I can not put into words how exciting it was to be in the ballpark to see, feel, smell, and take in the vibe being doled out about what was about to happen. As a true baseball fan, the excitement brought chills up and down my spine. You know when a truly great moment is about to occur, and sure enough, it did!

Congratulations Ervin Santana! I'm sorry you pitched the game against my Indians but I am very blessed and lucky to have experienced baseball history in the making!

Just like a giddy school girl

2011-07-25T02:11:00.003-04:00

It's hard to fathom the unbelievable turn of events this week putting a spring in my step and twinkle in my eye.

One of THE hottest weeks in Cleveland this summer coinciding with a heated romance with one of the hottest guys I've ever met. My new friend from the bar and I have been talking/texting this week. He seems to show interest as I've already seen him 3 times.....our schedules completely opposite causing a slight glitch in this relationship. He's substantially younger than I causing a rift as well, though age means nothing to me. However, when I told one of my girlfriends how old he was, she gave me a glowing compliment!

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what to expect. It could be a short lived fling or pan out to be something much bigger. I've learned through the years to take each day as it comes, as a gift from God and just roll with it. I am rolling with it as this very hot guy has me feeling like a giddy school girl again.

He has me being more attentive to myself, my successful fitness program which was just about to stall, and has me feeling ways I've never felt before. We are flirting, acting like school kids, having fun with each other and enjoying the moment. Isn't that what life is all about? For me it is with what has happened in my life over the last few years. You never know when life will be plucked out from under you.

Unfortunately, through the giddiness, I still have an underlying uneasy question--with weekends being the only time we can really get together because of our work schedules, why haven't we? I just have a bad feeling this romantic interlude will be hitting a wall soon, turning cold, though that's not my intention.

The entire weekend like a fantasy! Saturday night I hit the Indians' game, which was postponed due to rain, yet I was still there for 3 hours and spent a bunch of cash --and they never even played! How's that for ya!!!! The whole evening though simply magical. My guy and I texted back and forth all night ....but again, WHY couldn't we have gotten together? The game was postponed. What is going on here? There is never sheer perfection. Always one factoid that just doesn't sit well or make sense. Just like that square peg in a round hole.

Because the Indians' game was postponed, the Lifehouse Concert was moved to Sunday after the game. Simply amazing. Lifehouse helped me get through the days and months after Mom passed away. I'd listen to them while working out and driving to work. They gave me hope, they too, put a spring in my step and made me feel like a giddy school girl with their music. I could not believe I was sitting in Progressive Field so close to the band that helped me get through a very rough time in my life, which continues to this day. For that hour they played, I was in heaven transported to a place where there were no problems, no sadness, not even any issues concerning my new 'friend' and whether or not it will really last.

Exciting few weeks

2011-07-19T01:03:00.003-04:00

How could I ask for anything more? Summers in Cleveland never disappoint. The last few weeks my Cleveland Indians have been up and down but still very exciting! How can you beat 'beating' the dreaded Yankees, then Carlos Carrasco dueling CC Sabathia, Pronk's walk-off come back win all heading into the All-Star Break where Cleveland's representation consists of Asdrubal Cabrera, Chris Perez and Manny Acta.

I was fortunate to experience a dear friend's very first ballgame at Progressive Field and trip to the Terrace Club for girls' night out!

On the man front, an unprecedented summer like no other, though absolutely nothing has panned out yet.

In the movie, "Pretty Woman," there was a scene where the twins were speaking of Edward's 'flavor of the month.' Ironically, it seems there have been different boys stepping up to the plate each month....May had a charming boy-next-door suitor who still remains a friend....June brought a social media pal, who again, still remains a friend. July just brought an unsuspecting charming friend who I met at a station party in a bar of all places, and I instantly fell for his smooth lines. I violated many of my rules, one being never meet anyone in a bar! I could not resist. Where will this go? Who knows, but all my friends say just have fun and savor each moment.

My mystery man tossed me a line like I've never heard before charming me to no end. We have
a mutual friend so when I thought he left without saying goodbye, I still had a glimmer of hope knowing both of us could track each other down through our mutual friend. And sure enough, I received an email from my mystery man ....which started this unsuspecting rollercoaster ride leading who knows where?!????! I've seen my mystery man a few times already. Fingers crossed.

On the home front, very proud that I am finally crossing a few things off of my 'to do' list including important doctor appointments.....for the first time in a long time I feel as if I am catapulting the highest mountains....with an uneasy background feeling of 'what if' waiting for all of my test results. What will be will be.

Finally, wrapping up this whirlwind stretch at the "Taste of Tremont." What a tremendous festival. If you've never been before, please go next year.... you will sample the greatest fare of foodstuffs, adult beverages and music like no other. This street fair a small slice of the pie encompassing what happens in Cleveland, Ohio all summer long. It's a great place to live. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world!

Nothing better than beating the Yanks!

2011-07-05T01:34:00.008-04:00

Independence Day 2011!

There is absolutely nothing more American than baseball! After an excellent 4th with the family eating, laughing, relaxing, playing with the pups, and just spending quality time with those I care for freely doing what I love in this great country I adore, on to the ballpark!

A fantastic match up: The New York Yankees against my Cleveland Indians! Josh Tomlin battling A.J. Burnett. SS Derek Jeter in the midst of his quest for his 3K hit! Would it happen here? Could it happen here? Anything is possible. We are in the United States of America, and it is Independence Day.

What an amazing evening at the ballpark! A fantastic sold out game surrounded by Cleveland AND New York fans. Cleveland and the Indians really put on a great show for all of our visitors. Be proud C-Town! The pre-game festivities moving for the 4th....and the fireworks shows at Progressive Field are THE absolute best you've ever seen around!

My Indians did not disappoint. A tremendous game to take in and feel proud about being not only an American, but a Clevelander and Cleveland Indians' fan. The scrappy boys played hard and strong. Austin Kearns hit his very 1st homer of the season to put the Indians ahead and they kept tacking them on to beat the Yankees 6-3 ultimately. Derek Jeter just back from the DL and went 0-4. Yes, I cheered him back as did the 40,000+ fans who flashed their cameras everytime he came up to the plate.

Carlos Santana's homer in the 8th sealed the deal. Josh Tomlin pitched a fantastic game. He became the ONLY pitcher in MLB to pitch at least 5.0 innings in each of his first 29 career appearances --since 1919! Tomlin went 7 innings then enter: The Bullpen Mafia! Tony Sipp, Vinnie 'boom bah' Pestano and Chris Perez entered the game and held it for their buddy Josh Tomlin.

I am a true baseball fan. I enjoy watching Major League Baseball (and minor league baseball too). I see talent for what it is worth. If a member of the opposing team makes a great play, I'll clap and give kudos where it's due. The Indians are my boys, but yes, I think I may have a favorite player on every team. The New York Yankees are a talented team. Some of you may say that is absurd, of course they are one of the best. Well, they are good. The New York Yankees get calls they should not because they are the Yanks. They make their share of mistakes. And I can not believe how arrogant A-Rod is strutting around his spot at 3rd base. I'm not a fan. Yes, I do like Jeter, Teixeria, Posada, and other dreaded Yanks.

I don't know what it is but even though winning is always accompanied by a tremendous feeling, beating the New York Yankees has it's own special feeling. You've not experienced that feeling of sheer ecstasy and satisfaction until you've sat in the stands at Progressive Field and watched the Indians pummel the Yankees or just win by one. It's a feeling like no other with any other team (except maybe the Red Sox) where you want to scream at the top of your lungs and party all night long after a win.

Yes, Independence Day 2011 brought that feeling to all Cleveland Indians' fans past and present. You feel like hugging everyone you come in contact with while wanting to just jump out of your skin and float on cloud 9. It's truly a phenomenal feeling that you never want to release. For the moment, after seeing the Indians beat the Yankees and one of THE best Cleveland fireworks shows ever, it is time to savor this feeling. I wish I could bottle it.

Sitting out in the open air watching my favorite sport & my favorite team on the 4th of July epitomizes what it means to be an American to me. I thank my forefathers from the bottom of my heart allowing me to be at this point where I can be me, say what I want, do what I enjoy, have hobbies and passions that bring tears of joy to my eyes knowing that no one can take any of this away from me.

Thank you, I love you, I have no idea how to pay you great forefathers back except to try and live the life you began and emulate you all as best as I can standing up for this great country and her ideals while keeping the definition of freedom ringing loudly!

Dream vacation!

2011-06-28T03:27:00.008-04:00

I gauge the success of my vacations by how long they feel and this one felt like it lasted a month! But I've experienced something I've never felt before. A let down. For the first time ever I lost energy and felt a huge let down realizing I had to get back to reality. Mind you, my reality rocks but I still felt like the air had been let out of my sails.

The rest of my week rolled along....hitting the final Indians game with my sister and aunt....visiting friends I'd not seen in eons.....witnessing a visible sign from Mom --her trademark rainbow letting me know everything will be ok. I enjoyed the Larchmere Porchfest....and capped off the week at the Metromix birthday party. I can not believe how each day towered atop the previous day's festivities. Absolutely uncanny.

Funny the roads we travel....6 months ago I was hoping to be with my Indians in San Francisco this past weekend. An unrealistic pipe dream, but it's good to dream and reach for the stars! So, I watched my boys on TV ....and took the road less traveled which lead me down much greener pastures over the last five days.

Life is good! God is good. I truly am blessed.

I just broke my own rule

2011-06-22T02:55:00.005-04:00

I went against everything I've been preaching for years. Do NOT talk to strangers. Do NOT meet people online. Sheesh.

Social media sure makes it hard to follow my rules. But it sure is fun and makes life more interesting! I made an exception to my rule that I don't accept Facebook friends I don't know in any way, shape, or form. Last week one of my fellow tweeters began a conversation with me about my Indians. I'm especially careful on Twitter since pretty much anyone can follow you and your whereabouts, definitely not as secure as Facebook or LinkedIn. But, I enjoy reading his articles and he mirrors my enthusiasm and love of the game of baseball so I threw caution to the wind. He friended me on Facebook and I friended him back.

We really did hit it off and have been chatting and talking Tribe for the last week. On day #4 of my fantastic vacation I was supposed to meet my new Twitter and Facebook friend at the Indians-Rockies game, the SAME day I was named the Season Ticket Holder Fan of the Game. Fan of the game meant I got a new Indians hat, I was up on the Jumbotron waving like a dork while they announced me and I was supposed to get some Indians extra bucks, which I never received :( Things just seemed to get better and better this week. Or did they? I should have known that there would probably be a slight snag somewhere along the way. Oh, I hit it! I met my new baseball friend but unfortunately did not get to spend as much time as first thought.

The game was good....meeting my new friend extraordinary....and I was doing what I live for --watching my boys out in the beautiful Cleveland summer enjoying my favorite sport!

Can't ask for much more! I've made a new friend (you can never have enough friends!) whose love of and passion for this great game parallels mine! Hopefully, my new found friend and I can talk baseball for a longtime to come....

Yes, my terrific vacation does keep rolling along..... :)

Jimmy, I have a message from Bob Costas!

2011-06-21T02:50:00.005-04:00

You have got to be kidding me!

I must be the luckiest girl alive. My vacations always rule --totally epic. This one no exception! 2 of my dearest girlfriends and I hit the Indians' game....starting with a nice dinner up in the Terrace Club at Progressive Field! We had so much to catch up on and as we gabbed, a familiar man walked by. I quietly said, trying not to move, 'Is that who I think it is?' First of all, I have no idea why I was whispering in this paralyzed state. 2nd of all, my girlfriend said, 'don't make any sharp movements, yes it is.'

NBC Sports guru Bob Costas had just walked into the Terrace Club. I know a number of the staffers so we asked WHY he was in town? Apparently he has a group of friends who live in Cleveland who he visits a few times a year. When Costas realized there was a game going on, he thought it would be cool to have dinner at the ballpark and take in the game. And, I'm sure no one says NO to Bob Costas!

We still gabbed and caught up. I had my back to the man so my other 2 friends were on 'Bob Costas Watch!' Finally, he rose and was exiting the TC. My friend nicely asked if he'd mind taking a picture with us. Costas, quite gracious and soft spoken agreed. This was probably my one and only chance of ever seeing and speaking with this sports broadcasting icon. So, I put the usual 'shy Danielle' away for the next few minutes. I mustered up enough gumption to introduce myself and tell him where I work. You see, believe it or not, Bob Costas and I have a mutual friend. I know it's very hard to believe. But we do. The 1st words out of his mouth were asking about our mutual friend. I gave Bob the update on our friend, who is currently in the hospital....he was so kind and asked me to relay get well wishes to our friend.

Don't get me wrong. Meeting Bob Costas was quite the thrill. And I have a picture to prove it! But the bigger thrill for me was texting my friend with Costas get well message as soon as Mr. Costas walked out of view.

My friend was shocked. Not so much at the greeting but that we had actually run into Bob Costas at the Indians' game and had the chance and guts to speak with him. And my pal was very thankful for the text and well wishes.

The rest of the night & game with my 2 friends absolutely tremendous --making many new memories!

And friends, yes, I am batting 1.000 on this magical vacation so far. Let's keep it going....

Always have a deck of UNO cards in the loge

2011-06-20T01:48:00.007-04:00

Day two of vacation and the task at hand was to top day one. I never say never but I knew it was going to be nearly impossible! No, not impossible. We had a fighting chance as my family had the opportunity to enjoy the Indians' game from a loge. I've been quite lucky and blessed through the years to have sporadic opportunities to enjoy my favorite sport, my all-time favorite team from the confines of a loge, or even one time, from the field boxes. Now that was a tremendous experience for Mom, me and our family!

And, sure enough! We topped day #1 of vacation! First, just having the entire family together (except my nephew, but he has enjoyed a loge before!) was quite an experience! We all like baseball. The kids used to go to the games more with Mom and I when they were younger, but I know deep down inside they will always cherish this game, the Cleveland Indians' memories we made through the years and have a special place in their hearts for our Tribe!

It was just a beautiful day --well, until the rain delay! More to come on that!

The Pittsburgh Pirates were in town, a national league treat we don't see very often. And honestly, whenever my family gets together, there is an abundance of laughing, everyone talking at once, and feasting on delicious food!

So, the game was cruising along.....and then the clouds opened and we were in the midst of about an hour rain delay. Now, let's get this straight. We are in a loge. We did not have to scramble up the stairs to dry land. We had sufficient quantities of foodstuffs. We were surrounded by family and friends. The Indians were playing other baseball games on the huge scoreboard. And, most importantly, Sara brought -- The UNO cards! For the next hour or so, an entertaining display of who possessed the best UNO skills and ruled the roost!

In the midst of our UNO marathon, every so often, a radar check on everyone's smart phones. Yes. When the smart phone showed a clearing, our faithful grounds crew scampered out and started removing the tarp to loud cheers!

Our boys were playing baseball in no time....

Boy, did we get our money's worth! Not only did we sit through a rain delay, extra innings my friends! But wait, there's soooo much more.

With 2 on in the 11th inning, rookie Cord Phelps (who I'd just met the day before at batting practice) steps up to the plate and hits a walk-off homerun. His 1st homer to win the game! The Indians beat the Pirates 5-2 in 11 innings.

Yes, day #2 certainly topped vacation day #1. Can I keep the streak alive?

Batting practice from the field, really?

2011-06-19T01:14:00.010-04:00

How does this happen to me? There are so many parallels in my life yet the experiences are miles apart. 1 year ago on day #1 of my vacation, I had a friend in from out of town. He 'pooped' out early & I was determined not to let day #1 of my vacation fizzle out. I called another buddy of mine, who unfortunately has since moved to Chicago. He invited me to a party and day #1 of vacation 1 year ago ruled. I kept thinking 'how in the world will I continue to top the 1st days of my vacation?'

Fast forward to 1 year later, today. The out of this world experiences so new, fresh and different from a year ago, but the sentiment remains: "What is going on and how in the world will I ever top the 'awesomeness' of the start of this vacation?"

On day #1 I traveled to my college alma mater and shared lunch with so many outstanding people I'd not seen in months and even years. Not one second of the experience bad. I love the trek to my alma mater driving the open roads--so close to the city yet far enough away to be considered 'God's country.' A beautiful day with the sun's rays dancing on the roadway. Once I get to a certain point, I'm able to pick up HOT 101 out of Youngstown and jam the entire way to the chosen land! All the memories come streaming back each inch, each landmark, each milemarker I pass. Our meeting place chock full of memories including the world famous Freddy burger, which is a given if ever in G-Ville! I so did not want to leave these peeps. Normally, I'd dance the night away with all of them. Believe it or not, I had to tear myself away from this part of my memory making day to head to yet another unbelieveable once in a lifetime adventure.

When it rains, it pours. Everything stacks up on the same day or weekend.

My peaceful ride back to the city kept my dream weekend flowing along....again jamming to HOT 101 (until my border where it just became a fuzzy static jumble).

Next stop: Cleveland Indians batting practice -- from the field! Are you kidding me?

I was given a wonderful opportunity for myself and 2 friends to watch batting practice from the field --Indians batting practice! I met my 2 pals Meghan and Loren at the media gate where about 20 other folks were given the same opportunity! We waited. The wait seemed so much longer than it really was anticipating what was about to happen. Yes, we were escorted down to the field right behind home plate to watch my boys take their swings and field their positions. Absolutely ridiculous. I had to keep pinching myself.

Now, doing what I do for a living, we all know that you can not go on the grass. That is a no-no. The Cleveland Indians' grounds crew takes great pride in their masterpiece. When the PR women gave us two rules, of course one of them was 'do not step on the grass!' I just busted up laughing and gave my friends the long history of how long we've been told 'not to step on the grass!' The other rule was 'do not distract the ballplayers.' Ha! I think the ballplayers should be given a set of rules as well. Many of them were happy to have fans down there to flex their muscles to --fans who were beaming from cheek to cheek watching their heroes. They'd give us glances, smiles, as we had to keep a heads up for the periodic balls that would come rolling or flying our way from the players.

Honestly, this swirling dream simply too good to be true. We all received batting practice t-shirts, and were able to get our pictures with 2 of my fave players: Cord Phelps and Jack Hannahan and the skipper, Manny Acta. Then my friends and I, of course, got a picture of the three of us as proof to our whereabouts Saturday afternoon! All the heavy hitters were out there with us (except Pronk). My jaw was touching the field (but not the grass) as my eyes wandered from player to player to player and we just took it all in.

Trevor Crowe, currently on the DL, looks like he's coming along. He had family or friends down there. It was kind of funny. The people he was with wanted him to sign their jersey in Silver. It had to be in Silver. So of course, the PR woman being prepared tossed him a Silver pen. While he signed, his family asked my friend to hold their designer purse and they made sure they joked "don't steal anything!" This kind of stuff just doesn't happen in my everyday real life.

I recently made a very nice new friend via social media. While we were there, he texted me asking if I was heading to the game. I texted him, "are you kidding, I am already here just waiting to watch batting practice from the field.' I was beaming! The entire experience from start to finish simply perfect. Batting practice to the game to a post game concert with performances by Donnie Iris and the Cruisers (in honor of the Pittsburgh Pirates) and then Cleveland's hometown favorite Michael Stanley and the Resonators (in honor of my Cleveland Indians).

At the end of the night, it was hard for me to come back down to earth after a magical day.

And again, I asked myself, 'How in the world will I be able to top any other days of my vacation?'

Is his keyboard stuck?

2011-06-16T12:10:00.006-04:00

There are so many mysteries still lurking about today: The mystery surrounding God, Heaven, Angels, etc. being the biggest. Does the Loch Ness Monster exist? Did Marilyn Monroe really kill herself or have a little help? Why do the New York Yankees never get a bad call from the umps?

I'm going to let the experts debate all of the above through the end of time, which is yet another mystery!

I just want to know, "Is his keyboard stuck?"

Mind you, "his" is interchangeable -- a revolving door -- plethora of names ...until the end of time!

I will never understand boys. Yes, I am 'Danielle a day late and a dollar short." I'm the most organized, hip, on top of things person, unless it comes to men. When I was younger I was the 'studier' while all my girlfriends were going out on dates every night. When I was in college I was a great 'buddy' though that was not my goal! Then life and work hit.... and the 'wrong' men!

Life is too short to date a person you can't stand. I believe I am a pretty good judge of character. I am usually spot on when it comes to a first meeting. If I'm not only physically attracted to but blown away by the gentleman's many attributes including: humor, kindness, love of baseball, music variety, chivalry, intelligence, zest for life, spontaneity, equal time for fun and work, blah blah blah, then he does not get a second meeting (usually).

If God continues putting this person into my life, which has happened time and time again, I DO listen to God and keep an open mind.

When God mysteriously placed someone into my life last month out of the blue, after no contact with him for years, I thought, hmmmm? But I was quick to say 'whoa nelly' and step back. This 'friendship' appeared to be online and texting. We were supposed to get together twice to no avail.

I'm all for the mantra you can never have enough friends. And I'm even cool with keeping in touch via email, facebook, or texting. But I really thought something would come of this. I'd met the kid back in the 90's. Why was he resurfacing?

Another mystery is why boys start the whole messaging, emailing, texting 'balls to the wall' and then cool off, slow down, stop. Yes, they meet 'new' email friends. They meet new 'real' friends. They can't multi-task. They lose interest. They move on. But I'll still never get it, especially when THEY initiate the friendship or begin a conversation.

My 'May' friend was texting me at all hours of the day, waking me up at 630am in the morning with 'Morning Sunshine!' and would not stop all day long. I must admit, I loved the attention. I really did. To have a hot guy telling you you are on his mind throughout the day...and out of the blue getting a 'pick me up' in the midst of a rough day, it was tremendous! I came back from FLA and all of a sudden, the keyboards on his computer and cell phone went dead.

Is his keyboard stuck?

Oh, I take that back for the moment. I did get an actual email he sent that said "We are great, wonderful, everything is fine." And then the power company must have turned off his electricity moments after he hit 'enter.'

Am I that boring, unattractive, or disenchanting that he keeps hitting the 'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz' button?

Is this a sign that I should run far and fast because he's the kind of guy who only knows how to hit the 'iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' button?

For the record, I am disappointed with my 'May friend.' Don't worry boys, I never kiss and tell in my blog posts, or even trash guys. But I really believe this is an issue that many women deal with and honestly, it's a true mystery to me. I've been enamored with my 'May friend' for years....really thought we could at least have a cool friendship, if nothing else.

But, honestly, I'm sooooo over it. This not only happened with my 'May friend' but happens with my pal I've known for 14 years who I keep in touch with, and another life long friend I still keep in touch with... My friends who matter know at times this behavior gets under my skin, and they really don't have an answer for me. But again, with my friends who matter, we actually talk, see each other, and I love them immensely so I'll let the stuck keyboard every once in a while slide with them! Men are just hot and cold. Katy Perry was onto something!

Thank goodness I DO believe in the mystery of God. I DO believe that one day God will either give the great guys I know 'in person' who tease me all the time the guts to maybe ask me out, if that's in the cards. Or he'll send a new angel into my life to show me that there are still working keyboards out there that actually spell out 'WE.'

ps Why the Yankees never get a bad call will ALWAYS be a mystery :)

Euphoria

2011-06-15T03:00:00.004-04:00

I would have died for my Mother. I would have endured all the pain and suffering she had the last years of her life in a heartbeat if I could have switched places with her. I hope with the way Mom raised me & my home training I would do the same for any family member of mine, and I hope good friend...or really anyone who needed my help.

Well, today, I realized I think I really do know what loving someone feels like (besides a family member).

I have a dear friend who had a bone marrow transplant today. He and his family ARE family to me. For the first time in a long time I realize how important someone is to me, how much I love them, and can not even imagine them not being around.

When word started trickling back that my friend made it through his operation with flying colors and was feeling strong, I could have soared or leapt over the tallest downtown Cleveland skyscrapers. Nothing could have snuffed out my happiness, yet I did not believe that happiness could become euphoria. Think again.

I can not even believe I was able to contain myself for the rest of my shift, the rest of the day. My cell phone text jingle went off. Having absolutely no clue who was texting me, I took a glance.

My eyes opened up as big as shiny silver wheels on a spiffy souped up sports car as I read the text from my friend, who had just endured surgery. "Thanks Daniella....everything's going well...it was an incredible day."

I burst into tears of joy, could not sit down for the rest of my shift and just raised my eyes up to Heaven thanking God that he'd given me the gift of not only friends, but love. Some never really experience the love of others or loving someone else let alone being surrounded their whole lives by family and friends.

I've got it all!

Friends fuel our gas tank (the heart)

2011-06-13T02:02:00.007-04:00

When I make a friend, I plan on having them for life. Oh, I understand that God puts people into our lives and we in others' lives for specific reasons and once that task is complete, maybe we drift apart. But honestly, I don't go into a friendship thinking it will end one day.

Some people attack a marriage saying, "If it does not work out I'll just get divorced." WRONG!

And that's the way I address every friend I make. Yes, I'm still trying to figure out why there are some former co-workers I keep in touch with and others not. It's quite the mystery to me.

But those people I may not talk to on a regular basis are still part of my history, my life, and helped form me in some way, leaving me tremendous memories forever and only making me a stronger person from their finite stint.

So, the last few weeks have been chock full of fantastic friends who have helped me make new memories. My first stop down memory lane was Reddstone for the 50th birthday of a former co-worker. I was just touched that he invited me to share in his big day. Again, I was going alone and a bit uncomfortable to dive in to this endeavor solo, but my love, respect and admiration for Kenny outweighed my fear. And am I glad I took the leap of faith. I had the absolute best time I have had in a while. Not only did I get to see a friend I've known for at least 25 years, I saw dozens of other friends, former co-workers, and new friends. I ran into the son of a man who hired me not once but twice. I am secretly stalking Doug on Facebook (ha ha). He knows it! Just kidding everyone! I've known this family nearly my entire life ... my niece used to babysit for Doug and his sister. They truly are a part of my history, a very happy part of it! Had I not gone to this shindig, I would have really missed out on a slice of my past building up an even stronger future.

Oh, yes, I am truly blessed by those I've had in my life. And gladly I can say every day I am surrounded by so much love and laughter. We laughed at old stories, reminisced on the good, the bad, and the ugly (which all looks good now). Another person at the party also tried hiring me many times. He said, "Danielle, you were smart. You'd always get a free lunch out of me and then say something like, 'I really love what I'm doing and where I am doing it!'" He's right!

Where else could I have had a Birthday Guinness ice cream cake? It was GOOD!

And if the entire evening did not bring a permanent smile to my face, the very cute guys who hooted, whistled and hollared when I left just left me floating on cloud 9. I felt pretty and apparently others thought the same -- not the usual guys who come onto me, but really, really cute guys!

Next stop down memory lane -- a sports luncheon with Manny Acta and the boys at Executive Caterers at Landerhaven. My co-worker Dave Chudowsky was emcee. How could I miss it? I really hate these things because I wind up sitting with people I don't know having to make small talk, which I lack. As soon as I walked in, I saw current co-workers, former co-workers, the PR guy for Landerhaven, who is my buddy, and felt like a queen! Ironically, my friend Mike sat me at a table right next to a woman I have known for at least 20 years. My heart jumped with joy, I could not contain the smile on my face, and again, was so happy I chose to attend this event rather than let fear keep me away.

And my final stop down memory lane this week believe it or not took me some place I'd never been in Cleveland -- Whiskey Island. Wow! I love it there! A jam packed day of Belmont racing, singing Mass for my Uncle Bill, dining with the family, and then meeting probably one of my best friends in the whole world for a cocktail or two. Well, 8 hours later, I had shared so many new memories with old and new friends alike. I'd met Katie's friends and mixed with them swimmingly well....we had a blast at Cropicana on Whiskey Island, met The Naked Cowboy (I had no idea who he was), heard a band I used to listen to often at a friend's bar, and then moved onto yet two other familiar stomping grounds surrounded by old friends!

I can not even tell you the magical week it's been....and the fantastic places I frequented is a small reason for the magical haze....but the friends fueling my gas tank (my heart) closed the deal and brought it all home sweet home!

Always nice to be back in the CLE

2011-06-02T01:36:00.007-04:00

No matter where I've been, and I adore traveling, I get a chill and tear in my eye when I touch back down in my hometown, the CLE!

After a fantastic jaunt to Tampa, Florida, I really could not wait to get home...and ironically when I touched down on Memorial Day it was much HOTTER here in CLE than I had left it in TPA! Nice!

There are so many wonderful skyline vantage points in CLE but one that's amazing is traveling the 490 bridge with the steel mill flame on the right and a delicious skyline to my left of the city, the ballpark, skyscrapers, and the city I adore and will for the rest of my life.

When I arrived home, it was soooo nice to still have a day of vacation where I could celebrate Memorial Day with my family and then my first day back at work, we had a baby shower for a co-worker so it seemed like a "play day!" When I walked into work and saw Brandon's lovely family including his week old baby, my heart melted right there. That warm and fuzzy moment would pull me through to the end of the week!

Life is good!

TPA through different eyes

2011-05-31T04:01:00.009-04:00

People are amazed, and I must admit, I stun myself as well.

Deep down inside, I'm quiet, shy, and introverted.

No one believes me when I share that factoid.

It's true!

But among the millions of characteristics & gifts Mom instilled in me, one was follow your heart & dreams no matter what...

My dear friend of 14 years was notorious for asking me, "If you are so afraid of doing stuff alone and so shy, why are you always going to events?"

Good question. Valid question. My drive to enjoy life and those things that do bring joy supercede my fears, at times.

This past weekend I embarked on an adventure unlike one I've had in a while. Oh, yes, my family has been hitting FLA every year since I can remember. I have been frequenting different areas of FLA for the last 14 years with a very dear friend.

Once my friend moved to FLA 6 years ago, I'd pop down to see my Indians and usually wind up visiting him for a few days....last year bonus year hitting the Indians' games AND the Browns away opener in Tampa!

Well, this year I was not about to miss my Indians in Tampa.....and airfare reduced to a manageable exhorbitant price so I chose to bite the bullet. But, there is something different between my dear friend of 14 years and myself.

We are just friends, best of friends for so long, but for the 1st time I truly understand how the phrase "irreconcilable differences" originated & how people can divorce ....or worse, I have a vague, foggy idea of why someone strays and has an affair.

Honestly, we went from being inseparable to our theme song being Taylor Swift's "The Story of Us!" Trust me, listen to the words and that IS us!

Our friendship has taken an about face. We are currently on opposite ends of the spectrum. That in itself is not bad. People change, grow, move on, take different paths, mature, or whatever.

What's a bit quizzical is the process, how this whole new relationship evolved, and what underlying circumstances may have spurred it on over the last number of years. How long has the friendship been deteriorating? I did not really think it was....at the accelerated speed. I did see 2 people changing a bit, especially after losing my Mom when my priorities changed and I valued life even moreso, and friendships more than 'things' whereas others in my life focus on tangible items more than human relationships.

I don't see one horrendous action causing the schism.

My friend has been through a challenging year medically speaking.....dealing with more than any one person should have to endure. However, through it all there have been rays of light including well spent time with relatives he normally does not see. You have to look at the good in every situation, even if it's difficult to gleen a meaning.

So I'm heading to TPA Memorial Day weekend and basically am on my own this trip....may not even see my friend of 14 years.

I was not sure what to expect or how this weekend would shake out, though it's a yearly trip I take. It's taking quite a different spin.

Looking back, I had the best time on my new adventure. I picked a fabulous hotel which treated me like a queen....in the part of town I was quite familiar with and so very close to my friend, should he want to visit with me.

I had to take 2 roads to the ballpark, that's it!

I could not have asked for better weather....everything really was simply perfect!

I did wind up seeing my pal .....the 1st time quite comical. He's still nursing a broken foot. I arrived after a fantastic flight full of Indians fans, a bachelor party, and the Indians' pitching coach as well as beat writer Paul Hoynes.

My hotel was minutes from the airport. It seemed everything was just rolling along swimmingly well.....I ran into my pal's grocery store to grab suntan lotion....ran straight by him as he was sitting in the handicapped cart. When I turned around he was just sitting their laughing at me, the crazy tourist groping her sun tan lotion hoping to spend as much time in the FLA rays as possible!

We caught up and had a really nice conversation....that's why I'm not really sure what is happening?

I hit the games, quality sun time in the pool, and just relaxed as much as I could.

Saturday I spent more time with my buddy....we visited and watched a movie....Again, quite a pleasant time together.

My dream weekend was rolling along......everything without a hitch......made sure I picked a hotel that had computers so I could keep on top of my Tweeting and Facebooking.....as well as check in for my flight from the hotel.....wonderful pool.....free breakfast......welcoming rooms.....found the perfect radio station in town to jam to all weekend long.... 24 hour room service. Honestly, I could not have asked for a better weekend! And of course, my Tribe every single day! I've been to Tropicana Field so often, I know it as well as Progressive Field.....and after Saturday's game, the Avril Lavigne concert --yes, the one where she swore because her mics were not working. Well, when she swore, they WERE working! But all in all, a great concert!

Honestly, things that normally do NOT happen to me happened this entire trip....for instance, no one ever calls me on my cell phone.....well, I spoke to my Chicago friend....plus a new friend I've been chatting and texting with of late back home.....he wanted me to email him a picture of his girl Avril, and I obliged! Extraordinary!

The weekend was fantastic, reinforcing that I CAN travel alone and have a blast!

My final day I was supposed to dine with my buddy.....after the game, I checked in with him and he said a friend had popped over to his house.....well, I must admit I was a bit peeved....I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches but when I will not see my buddy for the rest of 2011 and he sees his best FLA friend 365 days a year.....I was just confused.

Dinner was delayed ....and then we hardly spoke. The first awkward time all weekend.

And honestly, I'm really not sure if I will ever talk with him again.....but I think I am ok with that for the first time in our 14 year friendship.

After I departed dinner, I relaxed back at my fantabulous hotel and got to visit with yet one more friend who currently lives in Tampa but is from Ohio....a former co-worker of mine. What an absolute treat! We chatted for at least 3 hours all night long.....it was sooooo wonderful catching up with someone I'd not spoken with in many years.

My final day out of this world. From my hotel to the airport to check in my rental car to check my luggage and get to the gate only took 22 minutes. Absolutely no lie. CLE definitely not that efficient!

Even though I saw TPA through different eyes, I enjoyed what I saw and really like the strong, new person I've become & have evolved into over recent years & experiences. Oh sure, I wish I knew what was happening with someone I used to consider my best friend. But, I will put this situation into God's hands realizing that everything happens for a reason. What is meant to be will be.

Felt like I was in a commercial

2011-05-23T02:23:00.008-04:00

Simply the most amazing weekend I could have imagined, in light of the last few which consisted of being blown off by a boy, grieving Mom, yet feeling the love of family and friends & the anticipation of a well needed break away from my normal routine in the tropics!

It began Friday when I got an unexpected surprise I never imagined....from a very dear friend who absolutely made my day, weekend, and month. I will hold the gesture in my heart forever.

Next up: Is this real or a commercial where I am sprinting through the airport??

Holy moly! I buzzed out to Thistledown to share in our tradition of Preakness Race Day....

Next stop: Racing home to sing Confirmation where Bishop Lennon would preside over the service.

Now the service began 5 minutes before my Indians' 1st pitch. I knew I'd miss 1/2 of the game. What I did not know is that it would be the quickest game so far, and I'd miss 2/3 of the game. At the conclusion of the service, I literally ran home, after Father Gary told me to text him the score of the game! I had my play clothes laid out...quick change artist. God was on my side. I got downtown in record time because everyone was already there! I pulled in the Q Arena Gateway garage and the nice man let me park in the very 1st spot! I proceeded to remove my shoes and run from Q Arena to Progressive Field. I had police officers and fans hanging outside waving and cheering me on! Am I on candid camera?

Once inside, I saw we were already in the 7th inning....

My friend Matt and his Mom had been there from the getgo for OSU night.

My pal Dave Summers was actually sitting right behind us.....

For the 3 innings I caught, it was a blast! And my pals waited until I arrived to sock the game-winning homer! Thank you Indians!

After the game, we hit the Hard Rock basking in the glory of a phenomenal outcome....

When we left, I was amazed and impressed that my friends walked me to my parking garage so I did not have to go alone....it was still daylight with tons of people around but what a chivalrous gesture.

Sunday: another big event! Colleen's wedding shower! What a glorious afternoon surrounded by family, friends, laughter, and lots of love (and good food!!)....

I could not have asked for a better weekend for a jump start and revving up....only to get better in the coming days with a matinee Indians game mid week and then whisking off to TPA for more Indians, Avril Lavigne, sun and palm trees!

There's a purpose, at least for a few weeks

2011-05-18T02:02:00.003-04:00

Yes, I'm a bit revved with a purpose, at least for now, and the next few weeks....

Was it my mysterious texter who will probably be just that, my elusive texter? Maybe. Whatever revs me up, I'll take it for the moment.

Yesterday I treated myself to a well needed extravagance which will suit me just fine when I'm enjoying the sand and sun in FLA next week!

Every single day this week and next, the crack of dawn will be calling my name to cross important tasks off of my 'to do list.'

Normally the most organized in the bunch, I've not lost that trait, it just hides at times.

The list girl! Guilty as charged! Every day I wake up to a list of things that must get done, that should get done, that it would be nice if they did get done, and then of course those tasks which can get moved to the next day, the next week.

I must take care of things for my niece's wedding shower, for a baby shower happening when I get back from vacation, and of course packing for my Memorial Day break! These are all non-negotiable.

I really feel good like I have a handle on this as well as my fitness...as I've been going at least 10,000 steps each day. I'm pumped and loving life right now! Thank you Jesus!

Ground Hog Month? Again

2011-05-16T00:54:00.008-04:00

This month is turning out to be a carbon copy of May 2010, which on one hand is a heavenly thought, yet on the other hand, a rocky omen to what turned out to be a total let down, wind out of my sails happenstance in 2010.

On the bright side, my fitness, toning down movement continues in the right path.....not at the swift pace it had been traveling, but it has not stalled. I'm progressing toward the -40 pound mark and am quite proud at my accomplishment to date, but what's even more exciting is how my family and friends seem to be even more excited and proud of me and continue giving me the needed encouragement necessary to keep this project alive!

A bittersweet comparison: I still have my LIVE Christmas tree up surrounded by the rest of my Christmas decorations. If my tree is still alive, why take it down, right? But, a con is that I'm in the same rut I lived last May, and don't have any zest or drive to do anything including packing up my Christmas decorations for the year.

On the plus side, this is a month with many family celebrations....birthdays, Mother's Day, the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, remembrance Masses for family members, which allow all of us to gather, feast, laugh, and spend quality time together making new memories.

Teetering back to the dark side, it's Mother's Day. I miss my Mom more this year than last year. Those who said it only gets better may have been speaking for themselves solely but should not speak for others. 2011 has been an extremely hard year for me in every respect. This Mother's Day is 10x worse than 2010, especially the week leading up to the commemoration.

However, I made a vow when Mom passed never to skip over a special occasion, holiday, birthday, tradition, or event we'd all share. I'm very into keeping all of our family traditions alive until the day I die.

I waver back and forth with the single - attached status as well. There are days I totally enjoy being a bachelorette being able to go and do what I want when I want with whom I want....last week leisurely walked around the Farmer's Market enjoying the beautiful weather and the sights and sounds.... however, I'm thinking of my niece's upcoming wedding and am dreading going alone.

Then poof! As happened 1 year ago to the date, I began getting text messages from someone I never expected. It happened in 2010 to rev up the back end of May 2010, bringing me back to life....and it happened this May. I was speechless and stunned. But for the moment, I will savor it, take it all in, and just accept what is happening.

It's amazing how so few words can inject so much life into someone.

But yes, it appears that they were just words with no substance or meaning behind them. My friend, who I've actually been familiar with for a million years (as my Aunt always says!) & I reconnected on Facebook amazingly enough. I met this lad doing a commercial promotion shoot for work years ago. He's been on my radar ever since but I'm fairly confident I've never been on his radar, until recently.

Why on the radar now? Still not quite sure about that answer, but I won't refute it. This past weekend, we actually made a date to get together. Yes, a formal date. I should have known it was too good to be true.

I had dinner with the family and timed it out perfectly so that I could get home, change, and be ready for 'the date.' I'm still scratching my head whether he ever intended to meet me or .....He was quite convincing .....as he kept pushing back the meeting time due to a family emergency (which was legit, I checked).... I couldn't let the adult cocktails and hor doerves go to waste.

Everything happens for a reason right? It was quite funny actually. My girlfriend was worried about this 'date' so we had worked out a code should anything go awry and I need assistance....well, I gave her the 411 on how the night panned out, and though it pained my mind, it eased her's immensely!

Fortunately, the day after the miffed 'date' was another family event which as usual lifted my spirits and got me looking to the future....especially a future filled with baseball, my niece's wedding shower, and a jaunt to see my Tribe on the road soon.....oh there is hope on the horizon!

You have no idea

2011-05-03T10:33:00.003-04:00

I'm blessed to have 'guardian angels' interspersed in my daily life on a regular basis.

One that God unexpectedly plopped into my life is the nice man and I believe forever friend that sold me my car after the awful mishap way back when....

Of course, he immediately hit it off with and just loved Mom, but who didn't!

And, because of his tutelage and amazing treatment from day 1, not a visit to the dealership goes by without me popping in to say hello to all the guys, bringing treats, and my pal nicely blocking out time from his busy schedule to visit with his friend!

I think, at times, I know more about the man who sold me my car than some of my friends I've known for nearly a lifetime. It's that one-on-one speaking that we set aside for 1/2 hour or so every time I visit. It's NOT an email, it's NOT a text. It's what I love most -- speaking in person to a friend and visiting, catching up, or making new memories.

I simply can not believe what he did for me the last time I had my car serviced. Needless to say, he went above and beyond the call of duty for me since I needed to leave my car overnight in order to get to work on time. For a fleeting moment, I actually felt like I imagine movie stars and athletes are treated regularly.....I walked into the rental car store and was greeted like royalty. They had my car ready, bent over backwards for me, and could not do enough to make sure I had everything I needed.

I used to get that treatment when accompanying Mom, but never on my own.

Until today. And this may be my one and only time I feel like this! ha ha.

I realize it's a business transaction and if the customer is happy, they may come back for more.

But there is something with my agent, Kenny, who really does go above and beyond. If that means he's the best salesman around, then he is and he does his job like no other. But, there is that human side, that compassionate friend which most sales people really don't have (at least sales people I've run into who give you their scripted pitch, day in day out).

I'm blessed to have run into this person during the course of my lifetime. God knows exactly what he is doing every minute of every day. Every move has a meaning and a reason. We can waste valuable time trying to figure it out, can actually fight some of God's moves or sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!

I love being a passenger in God's delicious sportscar traveling those back country roads, top down, Sirius Radio blaring!

Interesting April

2011-04-29T09:23:00.007-04:00

Yes, my friends. I am quite behind on updating and posting my blog entries.

Turns out, my computer is not properly configured so I can write my entries but can not post them, at this time. Work in progress, high priority assignment!

I've been stockpiling posts and then need to activate from another computer.

Just imagine if I actually knew the ins and outs of a computer, I could actually think about using it as a second career?!?!

We experienced quite an interesting March and April to say the least.

As you may know, a dear friend was in town both months nursing a hernia and then a broken foot. He had strict orders not to fly back to the land of sunshine. Bittersweet times. Loved having him back, but not so much under those horrendous circumstances. I believe we made the best of it and did get to spend quality time together catching up and sharing new experiences.

If he did not believe I've changed since Mom's death, he does now. Just because a person does not physically change does not mean they don't grow and mature mentally and emotionally or change their spin on life after a traumatic experience. I believe, with many of the demands placed on both of us, we saw how we've grown over the last few years--especially the night his Mother's washing mashine overflowed and jammed up and I was the only person who could venture downstairs to solve the problem. Amazement radiated from his eyes seeing my calm, cool, and collected demeanor in solving this problem with a smile on my face. I must admit, I had a little coaching and help from Mom on how to "Macgyver" the problem. And it worked!

He returned to FLA just after Easter. I still stand by my feelings that he being home to spend time with his Mother on her 87th birthday as well as Easter for the 1st time in 6 years was a blessing in disguise.

Lent and the anniversary of Uncle Bill's death also brought much family time.....which was enriching and welcome.

Lucky to enjoy many family dinners, whether at my sister's or Muldoon's before we saw my nephew perform out in Collinwood, or after Uncle Bill's Mass. Auntie ventured over to help me cook all of our Easter family traditions! After she left, for some reason, I continued going crazy and baked waaaay too much! I could not stop baking, which made my family, friends, and co-workers very very happy!

Maybe I was letting off steam missing Mom so much more this year for some reason than last year. I don't understand how everything this year has been so much harder than the 1st year she was gone. But, you can't question it, just deal with it and try to proceed as best as possible.

This Easter (straying from tradition), coupled with the fact that my ill friend would be leaving a few days after Easter put me out of sorts. I knew I probably would not see my friend Craig for the rest of 2011 and that didn't quite sit well with me.

Also, due to circumstances beyond my control, no one came over to Mass at my church or heard me sing.....and our Sunday dinner changed a smidge. I know I have to roll with the punches but everything landing on my shoulders overwhelmed me....

God has a way of honing me back in, and thankfully, he did.

And so did my Cleveland Indians. Thank goodness we are in the midst of baseball season. My 1 vice, my one extravaganza, my one obsession that always calms me down (even when they lose) and brings me back to a peace-filled existence.

At month's end, after my friend safely arrived back in FLA and I was an overstuffed Kolachy, the universe began aligning again and all was right with the world!

Baseball matinee

2011-04-08T02:20:00.012-04:00

It does not get much better than this!

An Indians-Red Sox matinee out in the open air with the sunshine god holding me in the palm of his hand.

I guess I am a loner, though I don't want to be alone forever, especially when I get old.

I enjoy hitting the ballgame at noon alone under the pounding sun in the open air, temps in the 70's.

There's nothing like watching Major League Baseball to get your juices flowing at the same time relaxing your mind, heart, and soul.

I hate to admit it, but not having a spouse or children at this juncture, this is one of my only true joys. I guess my Cleveland Indians are the children who bring extreme joy to my life.

My Mother used to tell me I was her everything, her reason for living who brought her total joy.

Well, I understand now what she was talking about.

In the course of a 3 hour baseball game, I can run through the gamut of expressions and emotions--and usually do.

There were more people on hand that have been at any game I've been to all season, except for opening day. What an exciting day!

From the very young to the very old sitting side by side enjoying the pure game of baseball. The players from both teams giving it their all. Sometimes outstanding defense and a pitching gem totally outshines a mammoth homerun.

Thursday's game simply awesome. An Indians win 1-0 still allowing me to get to my next event on time.

It really doesn't get much better than this.

The only thing that would have made it come close to perfection is either Mom sitting next to me or the man of my dreams enjoying baseball as much as me.

The shy girl always winds up in the spotlight

2011-04-06T01:29:00.004-04:00

Never fails.

The shy girl always winds up in the spotlight, at the center of attention in extremely uncomfortable situations.

It's quite funny. I am very shy yet when I say that to my close friends, they gawk and balk at me.

When and if I get to know someone, you can't shut me up.....

Normally, I'm quiet as a mouse. I think people don't want to hear what I have to say. I don't tell great stories. I don't know a single joke. I'm not a smart ass always coming up with the funniest put down or zinger. I am not too keen on details and an awful public speaker.

I abhor going out to bars or restaurants alone. I refuse to dine alone or just sit at a bar unless I am meeting someone.

I'm ok with going to a function that means something to me and dealing with the folks I may see or meet there.

So what in the world possessed me to meet some friends for dinner, and bring my emmy award?

The story behind the story. A dear friend of mine and I chatted last June the night we found out we had each just won an emmy award. The word spread and mutual friends we have said they wanted to treat us to dinner.

Fast forward 10 months later and, tada, we all were finally able to sync our schedules and meet for a delicous multiple course dinner at Blue Canyon. The one pre-requisite: Kim and I had to bring our emmy awards because the chef had never seen one and no emmy had ever entered Blue Canyon.

Let me tell you, trudging into a restaurant with a big bag containing an emmy does not keep the shy girl out of the spotlight. Chef Brandt was overjoyed to see them up close and personal. We took pictures and had to keep them out on the table during our meal.

And what a meal we had! Mom and I had been to Blue Canyon a few times before. The food is tremendous! But I must admit, when the chef himself keeps coming out to make sure we are good and everything is going well, quite a night! We all got different meals, different desserts so we could taste and share. And every single morsel of the 5 course meal rocked my world! Oh, I will definitely be back (without emmy).

Yes, it was a blast! Mostly because I was with 4 dear friends who I just adore. Bob, Lisa, Kim, and Amanda are 4 of the nicest people you will ever come across. The fact that I have the privilege of calling them friends such a bigger honor than all of my emmy awards combined!

Opening Day Weekend 2011

2011-04-05T01:08:00.002-04:00

I adore the game of baseball.

I get that cherished gift & interest from my Mom. She bestowed that gem on our entire family. She received the gift from her father, my Grampa, who my Aunt says took them to see the Indians when they were all just small kids. In fact, Auntie has some of the fondest memories of her dad taking her to a ballgame, and getting -- a hot dog. Having a ballpark hotdog with authentic baseball mustard watching a game with her Dad = priceless.

To the normal fan it's a game, maybe a day off of work, a time to share a few beers with friends. To me, it's so much more.

On Opening Day, the memories come gushing back spanning my entire life --baseball memories I've collected over the years with Mom, my sister, Aunt, and the kids which will be with me forever. We have thousands and thousands.

I truly enjoy the game of baseball. Oh yes, there is nothing like winning baseball from your favorite team but I'll support them rain or shine, win or lose. I was part of the smallest crowds the Indians had Opening Day weekend 2011. It didn't matter because the weather was beautiful, baseball is back for the next 7 months, and I saw progress and hope in the current players taking the field. The Indians have always had scrappers. Guys who come to play with their A-game. They give their all, no matter the outcome.

The normal 'joe' fan looks at the daily paper and sees the final score. That's no way to watch or follow baseball. Watching every intricate play tells the story. Even in a loss, you can see how hard the guys played, glean the many bright spots, and still gain pleasure from our National Pasttime.

Opening Day Weekend 2011 brought old memories back to life and formed new ones.

The entire weekend began with a memorial service for the best pitcher in baseball, Bob Feller, who recently passed away. What a tribute. It was a beautiful memorial service recalling many memories. Though many of today's pitchers are quite talented, I believe we coddle them too much. There is absolutely no comparison to the pitchers of Bob Feller's time and today. Those pitchers way back when played for love of the game. They made no money. They had to get real jobs in the off-season, which kept them strong and tone. They could pitch a complete game and the next day be called upon again to pitch another one. None of this "You can only pitch 102 pitches and then I am taking you out no matter how well you are still pitching!"

Bob Feller also sacrificed his career in baseball for the greater good of his country, which he loved so much....and while serving his country, put his life in harms way every day he was in the military. He is proof positive that if you do the right thing and stick to your beliefs and passions, it all works out.

Then Opening Day weekend 2011 against one of our hardest opponents, the Chicago White Sox. On the bright side, our old friend Omar Vizquel buzzed back into town. I would love to see Omar come back to play or better still to coach one day. He always claims he has a special place in his heart for Cleveland and Clevelanders.

Besides the outcome, everything else was near perfection. Pre-game festivities honoring Bob Feller chilling. 3 huge banners were hung on the center field wall. Every single player wore the #19 jersey for pre-game and introductions. Then Mrs. Feller placing a baseball on the pitcher's mound for the silent 1st pitch. And then the balloon launch as we screamed 'play ball!'

I adore the videos the Indians' play on the scoreboard --they always move me. 2011 will not disappoint. So far, the videos have been tremendous...and yes, the tears came streaming down.

I was at the game with 2 friends who get it. They love the game of baseball as much as I do. 1 of them I consider to be one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world....the other person is a friend I've reconnected with on fb after oh, maybe 15 or so years. I could not have asked to be at opening day with 2 better people who realize the pureness of this game.

Of course, Mom was with us in spirit....and will always be at every single game with me. I firmly believe that she is the Indians' biggest guardian angel. They may not have gone far last year, but things are looking up.

Good friends all know my passion for the sport and how important this game is to me. I received text messages and facebook messages all day and night long wishing me 'happy opening day,' 'I know this is like a holiday to you, have fun,' and other gleeful salutations!

Another dear friend moved away in the beginning of the year. I must admit, I was a bit bitter for a smidge of time. And I do so miss him soooo but I will not let this season go by without keeping in close proximity with him to talk, message, text baseball week in, week out!

Even though the Indians lost the official opening day game, I did not feel bad. I had just seen a major league baseball game outside in the open air under beautiful weather with 2 good friends. I'd seen an exciting game from both teams. That's how I roll. I don't feel bad anymore. I know how blessed I am to be able to watch this game and enjoy every single pitch.

The Indians wound up losing their 2nd game but pulled out a huge win on Sunday. Both games were quite exciting. At least, I had a blast both days. I saw very good friends at all of the games....enjoyed balmy temps.....and can't believe how lucky I am to be able to watch my favorite team play my favorite sport.

I have a really good feeling about this team. Most people admit there are so many players they have never heard of, don't recognize, don't know where they came from.....I am proud to say I not only know the players, recognize them when I see them, know what position they play and their numbers. When you follow a team and their minor league teams, you follow the entire team. It's like watching a child born and follow their progression through teenage years into adult hood. I absolutely adore everyone from the veterans to the youngsters to the newer players we recently acquired.

I admit, I'm nowhere close to enjoying the game like Mom. She'd amaze me game after game as she totally remembered a player's stats without looking up at the big score board....she'd remember what they did last game....and in the entire series. She knew every pitch every player threw...if he was a ground ball pitcher or flyball pitcher. I adored my Mother in every way for who she was and what she instilled in me...not only with the game of baseball but life in general.

I'm no Marianne, but no one is or ever will be. I am striving to be like her and put the same passion into the game (of baseball & the game we call life) as I hope to get as much enjoyment out of both!

Reliving Mom's ailments & being a caregiver

2011-03-30T01:21:00.006-04:00

Half the time I haven't a clue what I wore yesterday, if I remembered to wish a friend happy birthday, or if I ate that day.

Yet, there are moments in my life burned in my memory. And if they are not tattooed on my brain, they are resurrected as people dear to me experience similar events.

Two current situations have opened the floodgates of being Mom's caregiver for so long.

My best friend is stranded in Cleveland as he recovers from breaking his foot. His only mode of transportation most of the time: me.

I can not tell you how I'm reliving all over again a trip to the doctor with Mom. It's uncanny. I used to watch her like a hawk when walking with her walker. I'd be holding onto an article of her clothing determined never to let anything happen to her.

Fast forward to 2011 and I'm doing the same thing. I truly believe I will be taking care of those I love for the rest of my life, and that is definitely not a bad thing. I so miss taking care of my Mother. I hurt constantly I miss her so.

I help my friend down the steps with his crutches, walk very slowly right next to him so he does not take a spill, help him get in the car, park as close as I can to the medical center....I am reliving every single moment. I tell him, 'who cares if we go 5x slower than everyone else. Safety first.'

I must admit, and he hates when I do this, I'm constantly spewing medical jargon. My Mother's doctors and nurses used to ask me if I was a nurse? "Are you in the medical field?" And when I said no, they were in shock because I knew so much...I take great pride in that characteristic.

Now, I just wish he'd listen to me!

The nurse was showing him how to wrap his foot --only once a week. I said, "That's nothing, I had to do the exact same thing to my Mom's leg 3x a day!" And then of course I started a conversation with the nurse and he just sat there rolling his eyes!

My friend will be fine, so this situation does not seem so grave. Though he is still in pain and the initial stages of recovery, we know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

A second situation involving another friend is much more serious and transports me to more dire times with my Mom.

The Mother of dear friends from grade school is currently in the hospital with pneumonia. She goes to my church too. When I heard that, my heart sank and I envisioned the dozen or so times Mom was in the hospital with pneumonia. It all came rushing back to me, I started visibly shaking, and I just can't seem to get these visions or experiences out of my mind now.

The irony of it all: Mom WAS in the hospital many times with pneumonia. She'd always wind up in ICU and then wound up out at Heather Hill for rehab. I'd be at the hospital anytime I was not at work, every day. I'd go for days without showering. I'd sleep on the love seat right next to the phone just in case the call came in....I did not care if she was in a coma, not responding, or had a breathing tube. I knew she could hear me. I'd talk to her. I'd put her favorite show on tv so she could listen. I might read something to her. I knew all the nurses, the doctors, knew how to read all the monitors. I had a bag always in my car with everything Mom would need during a hospital visit.

There were at least 5 or 6 times the doctors did not think she would make it and she did. The final time she was in the hospital, none of us had a clue she'd die. We were all sure she'd recover like she had so many times before. We were all caught off guard and my Mother died.

Because of that, I guess I've become a pain in the ass to those friends I really care for and/or love. I 'preach' to them how important it is to spend quality time with family members and close friends (those that mean something to you). My broken footed friend has an 86-year-old mother. I've been lecturing him ever since he moved away and I lost my Mom that he should spend more time with his Mother.

Actually, same thing with my friend whose Mom currently has pneumonia. I've been preaching to him that he shouldn't work as much, should try to enjoy life a little more, and maybe spend quality time with family and (cough, cough LOL!) good friends.

I am stunned at how every time I get an update from my friends about their Mom, I revert back to reliving a pneumonia hospital stay with Mom.

I've said this before and will say it again, I will never say "I know how you feel" because I don't. And no one has ever or will ever know how I feel inside about anything currently going on in my life.

When my friend gives me a little tidbit on his Mom, I feel like I am standing in the hospital next to my Mother's hospital bed. There are times when I would like to say something, but I keep my mouth shut. All I can do is support my friends and hope they know I am there, 24/7. Though I may not know exactly how they feel, I've lived through this more times than most.

I do know the toll no sleep, worry, trying to maintain your daily responsibilities as well as spending as much waking time with your sick family member can have on the caregiver. I'm still recovering and honestly don't know if I will ever fully recover.

My friend's Mom has had good moments, bad moments, good again and bad again. Last I heard, she was on the upswing.

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe everything happens for a reason, when it is supposed to happen. We may never, ever understand why something happens until we die. But, I'm sure every single breath has a meaning and teaches a lesson or has an impact on someone.

I've really gleaned much since Mom's death. I know who I DO want to spend time with, who I DON'T!

Maybe after all these two very dear friends of mine have been through, they will add me to their list of people they cherish and they'd like to spend quality time with...before it's too late.

Superbig Moon weekend

2011-03-21T01:05:00.004-04:00

Yes, I'm superstitious, in a good way.

I believe there are ghosts, my dead relatives speak to me, a black cat is good luck (well maybe not after one crossed our path and hours later my best friend broke his foot in 3 places)....but you get the idea.

Beginning this weekend with the superbig moon, it felt like my derailed train has gained momentum on the track....check back with me in a few weeks!

I had a wonderful breakfast meeting with a dear family friend.....we were talking business but the bulk of it was catching up.....then I spent quality time with my broken-footed friend as I took him to the doctor.....and then the phenomenon of the superbig moon!

Lots of events during superbig moon weekend: Spring officially begins! My highly anticipated fantasy baseball draft takes place --where I will hang out for a few hours with people I see once a year but we all have a very special bond!

Back to superbig moon night. I felt like a newschaser.....gawker.....I was heading out Saturday night and saw the superbig moon. I'm flashing pictures as I was driving, trying to get a great vantage point. Everytime I thought I had one, a tree or house jumped in front of me!

I went way past my destination thinking I would get closer to the moon. OMG!

Yes, though. Finally, I found the moon and I shot the moon and felt like I could even jump over the superbig moon!

I do truly believe the superbig moon will have an effect on me in the coming weeks. It's just a matter of whether or not it's positive or negative?!?!?!

God has a plan

2011-03-18T02:44:00.003-04:00

And somehow my name has been scratched off of the "God's memos' list!

So my friend in from out of town has had a setback....after having hernia surgery, he broke his foot a few days later.

He will be in town for 4-6 more weeks.

Yes, God has a plan. All I can do is trust He knows what He's doing.

With this unfortunate incident, I personally am gearing more toward the "he needs to spend some more time with his 86, soon-to-be 87-year-old mother" theory.

But remember, I've been 'whited out' of the memo list.

I know that since he's been in town, my life has been a train wreck. I need to get this derailed train back on the tracks. Though I'd love to take advantage and spend quality time with him while he is stranded in town, I have to stay focused on my Lenten goals, my nutrition program, my personal obligations, and taking care of me.

I'm conflicted. Mom taught me to help friends, to take care of those who need, and hence, I always neglect myself. I have to pull back a bit and start taking care of me. It's the airplane rescue theory. Pull down the oxygen mask and place it on yourself first and then help your neighbor.

Now, I'm so blessed. Each day has hills and valleys. In the midst of the chaos, I was brought to tears over the weekend as I received a text from a dear grade school friend. All she said was 'what a nice surprise....' attached to a picture of my sister and 2 nieces. Sheila's daughter is in a wedding on the same day my niece is getting married. No, they are not in the same wedding but they WERE at the same dress store and all met each other. Kind of funny. Sheila's daughters call me Aunt Dani...and when the girls were talking about me, I think my real nieces were amazed to hear that!!

The entire meeting story warmed my heart and showed me, yet again, what a very small world we frequent. After the text picture I was fortunate to share a lovely night with Sheila and her entire family over the weekend. Her son's meal to die for! I feel like I am part of the family and at home when I spend time with these friends!

Again, in the midst of the craziness, God helps me through as my Aunt and I head to Mass for my Uncle...on St. Patrick's day! What a terrific way to begin this holiday/holy day! And then to breakfast! Yes, though I'm on my nutrition kick, I could not pass up the Soda Bread & Corned Beef tradition! Come on! You only live once and some don't even get the full use out of their warranty.

I think I've gotten a few derailed cars back on the track, but I've a loooong, loooong way to go!

Lent & Spring Training are my friends

2011-03-12T02:15:00.002-05:00

I'm strapped in for what I believe and feel will be a rollercoaster ride!

I am so looking forward to Lent. I actually began my Lenten resolutions shortly after New Year's Day. I tried a little something different this year. It seems everyone always goes up to the midnight deadline of Fat Tuesday and then BOOM!

Come Ash Wednesday, it's an about face.

Not for me. I really did kick off the year with good intentions and have plugged along, little by little. Instead of an abrupt halt or revving up, I'm coasting into Lent with very good momentum.

This is the week my friend flies into town though I won't see him until the end of the week. Lent begins just in the knick of time. And Auntie scheduled an appointment to get our taxes done. I can not even believe the almost all-nighter I pulled over the weekend gathering all of my tax information. First of all, I have nothing. Yet, I am such a meticulous person, I notated everything and anything for my new tax guy. It felt soooo good to get that material organized and get myself perched to cross yet one more thing off of my 2011 to-do list! My Aunt has known her tax guy since he was a baby....and ironically, he does the taxes of a number of my co-workers. Funny how life plays out. I am a month older than he yet I'm fairly positive he makes at least 20-40x more money than I make. I think I am ok with that having donned a new attitude after Mom's death stretching into 2011.

Ash Wednesday brought torrential rains. I think they caused my Aunt to catch a little cold. She's a bit under the weather now. However, we found the most delicious fish luncheon across from The Lake County Captain's Ballpark, the Captain's Club, to enjoy a meal together.

The rains continued. I had a personal day from work this week, where I had to rise at 5am. Nice. The only girl who is OFF and must get up at the crack of dawn. Amazing. In my travels I had to cross the Valley View Bridge not once, but twice. For those of you who are not familiar with this bridge, someone crashed, flew off the bridge and died just a few weeks ago. Unnerving to be traveling on it in an awful rain storm.

We survived. I actually got to spend some quality time with my friend who is in from out of town. Amazing how some things and people never change. I am so glad that is not my mojo.

But, it was /is nice spending a little time with him for just a few days.

Besides the Lenten feeling saving me over the next 6-8 weeks, Spring Training is finally in full swing and my boys began playing games this week. Oh, yes, there is a God. Thank you God for just the simplest of things to keep me going! Baseball is definitely one of those energizers.

Seeing MLB on tv has gotten me through this stressful week.....Thank you!

Resigned to being overwhelmed

2011-03-06T01:44:00.004-05:00

And that's not a bad thing!

Rather be overwhelmed than bored or discontent.

And yes, the items that overwhelm me are probably chump change to those who have 'real' problems...yet to me, they are important and they are real.

Looking into my crystal ball for March, I turn over and attempt to go back to bed because maybe it won't really all attack me if I am sleeping!

The person I call one of my 'best friends' is due in town next week for surgery....will be interesting. Have not seen him since September. I've changed. He hasn't. When he said 'jump' I stayed grounded this time. I will assist him if I can but overall, I can not re-arrange my life anymore for him. I've done that for the last 14 years and I am D-O-N-E!

I truly believe (and what do I know) that God has a bigger reason for him being home other than surgery and visiting me. His Mom is about to turn 87 years old. I think they should spend as much quality time together as they possibly can, no matter how much both of them annoy the other.

This will get interesting folks.

Another dear friend is also ill and it's killing me. I was going to be in his neck of the woods the other day and was dying to pop in and surprise him, but he had a doctor's appointment. We are always two ships passing in the night. I will put a stop to that as well in 2011.

If there is any consolation from this week, I had to make a trip to my car dealership. Most people cringe when they visit the dealership or auto body shop because there are always unexpected costs. I kinda thought that way too but I believe NEXT visit I'll have some extra expenditures.

When I go, I take treats to the autobody folks and then pop over to the nice guy who sold me & Mom our car. Seeing their reaction and their eyes get so big when I hand over a big bag of candy or baked goods brings a smile to MY face.

Well, this time my friend Kenny was off, but those guys still made me smile from cheek to cheek. I walked in and they immediately started asking me what kind of treats I had...and that Kenny was off but they would 'try' to save him a few morsels!

They absolutely made my week!

Rounded off the week having dinner with my family. Well, everyone but my nephew, who was there in spirit while he worked. We celebrated Uncle Bill's birthday in Little Italy. The 1st birthday without UB. I'm sure he was having one heck of a time with his cousin Pope John XXIII, Mom and the rest of his posse up in Heaven! I felt good. I've been on a special nutrition kick and have been doing very well. People can tell I've lost weight and THAT makes me feel good too!

I have a feeling come next week when my buddy enters stage left, my hard work and focus on me will be flushed down eau de toilet!

I'm savoring this bittersweet week as best I can for who knows what tomorrow will bring!

So much for good health & happiness

2011-02-28T01:19:00.004-05:00

OK, if you know me, you know I am surrounded by much love and happiness....and find the good & glimmer of hope in pretty much every situation...to the point where my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from enjoying much laughter throughout that day. But I have to tell you, it's only the beginning of March and the amount of illness in the new year has been astonishing. From my sister who had 2 surgeries at the beginning of the year....a few friends at work who are battling issues.....to one of my best friends, currently living in FLA, who will be coming into town next week to have hernia surgery.....plus his mother who will be 87 years old this year enduring her share of sickness. Our dear Pastor has been limping around as my choir director ...... I just found out another dear friend of mine has been 'quiet' because he was battling very serious lung issues and then had surgery...and then just recently wound up back in the hospital with complications. Oh my. Fortunately, he was well enough to chat this weekend and brought me up to speed. I know everything happens for a reason.......but please Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, enough is enough! Of course, with all due respect! I'm raising my arms and eyes to you for much improved health and ever so much more happiness in the coming months....if your will be done!

Family & friends make the world go round

2011-02-25T02:26:00.004-05:00

What a whirlwind week! The twister swooped down & picked me up numerous times over the last 5 days, each touchdown recalling a sentimental moment in my life or making a new memory.

A week ago one of Mom's best friend's passed away. I can not believe she is gone. Ironically, the last place I met her for lunch is where we all gathered again to send her off and celebrate her life. Of course, she told her family to make sure Father Gary had at least 2 cocktails in her honor! During our luncheon, I met a few other school mates of Mom's who only had the nicest things to say about both Mom and Mercedes. It's rattling to have someone say, "you are singing my funeral" and then have it happen so soon after that declaration. Drat.

All in all, the experience very heart warming and soothing. I know I have at least two guardian angels up in Heaven (oh, so many more) that are squabbling back and forth that I am singing to one, no the other, blah blah blah.

The funeral was beautiful, just as Mercedes wanted...and the trip the cemetery as regal as the woman we were memorializing. The sun peeked through just as we said good bye for the last time. So many other thoughts came flashing back from this one event. When Uncle Bill passed away, we drove through Lakeview Cemetery after his luncheon to view the wall of daffodils...

The weekend continued surrounded by friends and family as I met a very dear friend for dinner. We broke bread and just talked, laughed, and forgot about life for the next three hours. Then, against my better judgement, I met a group of friends out. I was just about home and was rerouted thinking, 'this is trouble.' But in reality, it was nice to see a former co-worker of mine and just wind down the evening. Even better, the bonus at the end of the night. I had a delectable conversation with someone I hold dear to my heart. He nicely wrapped the entire funeral day up with a bow raising my spirits proving why he is one of my dearest friends I never, ever want to let go.

I re-connected with yet another former co-worker this weekend as he and his wife deal with a tough situation. But I told him, that's totally what friends are for --the love, friendship, moral support and any other support necessary to get through this thing we call life. It was a real treat just sitting and catching up with them for a while.

Then off to an impromptu family dinner full of homemade lasagna! MMMMM! And another treat was having 'the girls' in our midst! Zoey and Isabella are the cutest things in the world (besides Chica-lou!)...

Again, great to visit with the family, break bread and laugh, laugh, and laugh some more! Now, we all gathered during the beginning of yet another awful snow storm....but it was well worth it!

In the midst of this family love fest, looming in the back of my mind were two other dear friends who are not feeling well. One is having an operation this week after being sick for most of the year already. I pray for him everyday. He's very special to me. And my other friend will be coming back into town for an operation in a few weeks. He, too, is a dear friend who has a lengthy history with me.....

I so wish I could do more for them all.....as I began, family and friends make the world go round --at least my world. I'd be nothing without both.

And wrapping up this week of looking back down memory lane, yet another funeral. Uncle George passed away. Auntie and I went to the funeral and luncheon afterward. It was awesome seeing my closest cousins on hand, and just being able to sit there catching up without feeling like I have a gun to my head for 'the next duty.' We always say, "we should get together more, under better circumstances" when in reality, a good start is spending quality time, un-interrupted time at these spaced out gatherings. Living in the moment is all we can do and living as best as we can in that moment.

Mom & Mercedes hitting the slots together again

2011-02-17T01:13:00.006-05:00

I can only imagine the special reunion between Mom and one of her best friends, Mercedes. Add in Mr. and Mrs. DeGrandis and the rest of my wacky family members and they have a full-fledged non-stop party absolutely out of this world. Main course: Pasta and meatballs!

Mercedes Karpinski Spotts died February 14, 2011.

Mom and Mercedes were life long friends since high school, if not before. They wound up going to Notre Dame Academy, the old school on Ansel Road, way back when--as they and my Aunt still says, "A million years ago!"

I never remember a time not knowing Mercedes. She was a doll and a role model. She mimic'd Mom's strength, willingness to speak her mind (which I have), zest for life, being a problem solver rather than idly standing by, finesse for gambling, & most importantly, love of family and God. Oh yes, their heritage too. Just as Mom was so very proud of her Italian and Bohemian upbringing, Mercedes just as enthusiastic and proud of her Polish background.

Mercedes did not come over as much as she wanted because of our dogs...that was one difference between us all. She was not a dog lover and we were consumed with all of our dogs.

I never saw her when she did not have a smile on her face and something incredible to say about Mom. She had the best sense of humor and pretty much poked fun at everyone, most importantly herself!

At Mass, she and Mom would always sit together in their pew. God forbid someone else slip in their spots! Mercedes would tell my choir director David after Mass that I was singing to HER rather than my Mom.....and would speak 'crazytalk' requesting that I sing her funeral. I never thought that time would come so soon and believed that request was far off into the future.

Mercedes walked with a cane, which slowed her down a bit. That's the only thing that slowed her down. She was one of the sharpest women I knew. She still drove. She'd steal Mom away to go to lunch, dinner, high school reunions, and gambling jaunts. Even after Mom's mobility suffered, Mercedes still tried getting her out of the house every so often. They had a core group of friends who would travel around having fun well into their 70's as they neared the 80 mark.

When our church had a special fundraiser, night of a thousand dinners, Mercedes was one of our guests. Everyone loved her and she adored the rest of our dinner guests. Her laugh, infectious, and knowledge astounding. As usual, she held the floor most of the time.

Probably one of the best vacations Mom had was with Mercedes, and I believe, Mrs. DeGrandis. Mercedes was heading to Las Vegas for business and convinced Mom and Mrs. D. to join her! Mom talked about that trip up until she died. And Mercedes was simply amazed at Mom's luck.

I believe the real last big event they attended was a milestone high school reunion maybe 5 years before Mom passed. Again, they both had such a tremendous time together and with so many of their classmates, who were all still alive. Those ladies really knew how to party and do it up right! Hopefully, I will follow in their footsteps in that respect as well.

After Mom died, Mercedes pulled me aside and said she was taking me under her wing. If there was anything at all I needed, I should call her. She and I also went out to lunch periodically. She'd ask how I was REALLY doing.....she'd ask if they were treating me nicely at work.....and then she'd ask me about my love life. She, like Mom, was very concerned with finding me a nice boy who was going to take care of me. I told her it was in God's hands, but I did want a nice boy one day! She'd give me a big sigh and say, "I don't get it. You are smart, talented, beautiful, have the voice of an angel, the prettiest smile..."

Besides everything else Mercedes did for me, she always boosted my self esteem!

Mercedes is in a much better place --the destination she and my Mom worked their whole lives to reach. She's perfect--no ills, no pain, no walking cane anymore. She's with her Mom and Dad and sister Gloria.

The best thing I can do to keep their spirits alive and continue making them proud is incorporate into my daily life the ideals Mom and Mercedes taught me which include, keeping my faith strong, spreading the good word of God by example, living life to the fullest, enjoying family & friends, never giving up or doubting myself, celebrating God & life, using the talents God gave me, and of course sharing delicious meals with those I love and playing the slots every chance I get --especially when the new casino opens in Cleveland!

Go Tribe! (that was for Mom!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-15T03:18:00.008-05:00

For someone who is not 'in-love' with Valentine's Day right now, I had a tremendous Valentine's Weekend!

Funny how this seems to be the one 'man-made holiday' (other than maybe sweetest day, another consumer-driven holiday) where you love it if you are in love or have that special someone and absolutely abhor it if you are single, not in a relationship, recently broken up, or pining for someone who may not have the same feelings.

I must admit, though I never have a guy on Valentine's Day --except for 'Mango Man' many, many years ago, I'm a sucker for the traditions. I grew up in a house where we celebrated V-Day every year. My Mom and sister made these adorable felt sequined hearts for all of us to wear....when I was old enough, I got into the act. We'd hit Malley's for their chocolate hearts and jelly hearts. I'd buy Mom flowers. I'd get Valentine's cards and send them out en masse or pass out the small children's ones to my friends with candy attached. I'd bake my famous chocolate chip muffins and make a heart-shaped chocolate chip cake. For some reason, 1 of the most memorable Valentine's Days was oh so many years ago when we were all together and my sister made these delicious cinnamon muffins for breakfast.

Now don't get me wrong. There is some bitterness attached at times. Carrie Bradshaw, of 'Sex and the City' fame and Sue Sylvester of 'Glee' had the right idea. Both of them married themselves.

The single girl gets slighted over and over. The single girl may get birthday gifts, but usually never of the caliber only delivered by a husband or boyfriend, a Mother, or even lover. The single girl NEVER the center of attention with gifts galore showered upon her the likes of a woman about to embark on marriage --at a wedding shower....or a woman with child --at a baby shower. The single girl never gets the opportunity to receive ridiculous amounts of cash being tossed in an ornately decorated, multi-tier box set smack dab next to a wedding cake. And the single girl never gets wined and dined on her birthday, wedding anniversary, valentine's day, sweetest day, or any other 'holiday of love' including Christmas by the man of her dreams.

Carrie Bradshaw, after attending more baby and wedding showers than she could take and totalling up how much money she actually spent on her friends good fortunes with absolutely no reciprocation decided to throw a 'married to myself' party ......as did Sue Sylvester.

I don't think I'd have the balls to do that, but I love their style and the idea.

That said, this weekend was not perfect....but had some amazing memorable moments. I touched base in some way with my family....still have candy treats for a few of them forcing me to see them very soon!

I baked....passed out Valentine's candy and cookies....sent messages to the special people in my life....wore Mom's beautiful red sweater and the felt sequin heart she made for me.....

I actually saw 2 of my favorite fellows. 1 of them I had not seen in eons. He visited Mom in the hospital days before she died.....what are the chances of me running into him at an event I was attending Valentine's weekend? I take that as a definite sign from God.....as clear as Bam Bam hitting me over the head with a huge wooden club, that we will be friends forever...and our paths will continue crossing.

I had engaging phone conversations with 2 of my dearest friends in the whole wide world. 1 of them is out of state but we had a gas talking for 2 hours catching up....he and his work buddies loved the Malley's heart candy I sent....and then when I sent him a Happy Valentine's text, he made me pee my pants by responding, "Is that what all the fuss is about today?" And proceeded to wish me a very happy valentine's day back....

I was surprised and overjoyed by yet another friend I had not heard from in at least a month. We had a wonderful phone conversation....he made my day, my night and whole weekend! Hopefully, we too, will be able to catch up in person in the near future.

Beaming & Butterflies.

Realizing and recognizing the great friendships I've garnered over the years and still have in my life make me realize that being a single girl is really ok. God has been so good to me. I could not ask for a better family....and have the most amazing friends in my life across the board--from kindergarten through now--who keep me vibrant, alive, young, and most of the time, feeling loved.

I have faith that one day God will indulge me with my fantasy Valentine's Day. If I've learned one thing in life, it is never doubt the power of God. I'll keep my Valentine's Day traditions alive each February 14....my heart open.....and enjoy the mini miracles sent my way each day of the year.

No man is an island

2011-02-08T01:10:00.007-05:00

Yes, I just "borrowed" that line.

Wish I would have coined it myself.

I'm torn on this mentality.

I prefer being self-sufficient and accomplishing tasks myself. Gives me quite a sense of satisfaction. Plus, oftentimes if someone helps you, 'certain' people hold that assist over your head indefinitely, infinity plus.

As you start climbing the ladder of life, history comes in flashbacks...you see a person or group of people or even just a photo of them and are transported back in time to that era.

And with age and maturity, you realize that these people in your past actually helped form you and pave the way to your future.

Without each and every one of them, you'd be boring, one dimensional, and a stranger to whom you know and love.

Some of us are lucky enough to keep those influential people near and dear to our hearts in our lives always.

Facebook acts as a tool to better allow us to re-connect with those special someones...

I'm quite blessed to still have people in my life I've known from birth, kindergarten, grade school, high school, college, and my professional career. God has been good to me.

A three day blitz opened the floodgates to my history--all good!

I attended the 2011 Beaumont Distinguished Alumnae Award luncheon which bridged my past and present. Two women who were at Beaumont with me received awards....faculty who taught me were in attendance....a woman I used to work with has joined the Beaumont family....and then a lovely woman in my life currently also received the honor. Joan and Mom were very good friends. Because of their friendship, I've since become good friends with she and her family, who actually invited Mom and I to Chautauqua a few years back. What a tremendous time.

I'm amazed at how life goes full circle time and time again, and more often than not, we are all connected in some way or have all crossed paths.

After the Beaumont extravaganza, I had the honor of being invited to a fantastic surprise birthday shindig--for the husband of a friend of mine. We were destined to be friends. Renee and I have known each other for eons but HOW we know each other and how many times our lives have criss crossed is the true tell tale sign our friendship will last. Renee and I worked at the same places.....I worked with her ex-husband....I've known 1 of her children forever....and then we have the college tie as she was alumni director at my alma mater for a number of years....we work together today--she as media relations specialist and I as a member of the media.

At her husband's party, I re-connected with another former co-worker of mine I've know for at least 25 years now. We picked up where we left off having a sense of familiarity. I had a very nice conversation with his wife, a new friend, and can tell that we will all continue being forever friends.

Then, if that was not enough.

I ran into my hero, my mentor, of all places --my office lunchroom

The woman who gave me my first internship is doing a project for my station. I could not believe my eyes as I saw her standing in the lunchroom. I will be ever indebted to Jane for not only giving me my first chance in this business but for being one of the best female role models of all time. To this day, Jane is a front runner with a skill level at her craft towering above all the rest. She is a brilliant producer, writer, director, editor --you name it, she does it!

Jane proves that women can do anything. You can stick to your convictions, never compromise your beliefs and integrity and still get the job done. She's a fireball who, to this day, is the hippest lady I know!

Yes, I'd love to believe that I can move mountains by myself, that I'm super woman and don't need anyone else. But looking back at my rich history and the thousands if not millions of people who have entered my life having a life-changing effect on me, I welcome company. I yearn for assistance to help me continue my evolution. I need to feel needed.

I don't want to live on this island alone.

No feeling either way

2011-02-03T02:09:00.001-05:00

Thank goodness January is finally over.

I am the first person who says 'don't rush life' and 'savor every single second.'

I mean it, except for January 2011. Oh, it had some great moments, trust me. Actually had lots of wonderful moments! I guess I am being melodramatic. No, not me!

And the old addage, be careful what you wish for could come into play. Only God knows what's in store for the rest of 2011. Maybe it will be 10x worse than January? Or maybe a wonderful fantasy?

Thankfully my sister is feeling much better. That's a win.

I can definitely tell that I am a woman in her 'blankety blank' by the crazy happenings going on...and that's ok too. Keeps me on my toes...

Then there were not so memorable moments....and we all go through them. What keeps me strong is that Mom experienced every challenge tossed my way during this still young year. She survived. In fact she triumphed. The bad news is I don't have Mom in person to help me solve these problems. She was my rock, my savior. I just have to pray more to read the signs God may be sending. God (and Mom) will surely guide me.

The irony of it all. Two situations arose having complete opposite reactions.

The first one reminds me of the line from 'Broadcast News.' William Hurt says something like, "I feel bad that I don't feel worse."

Well, someone from my far away past who withdrew himself a long time ago revealed that he is ill and has cancer.

Honestly, I felt bad that I did not feel worse. Heck, I felt bad that I felt absolutely NOTHING. I felt sorry for him because you never want anyone to be sick. And then a little anger bubbled up that he's only brought grief into my life, and now, the possibility of passing on a deadly disease. Moving on. Went back to feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The other situation evokes more emotion than I ever imagined. I have a friend who helped me immensely after Mom passed away. I thought we'd be forever friends. It seems that friendship has stalled. But I really don't know. It could be a misunderstanding on my part as I often jump to conclusions. I feel helpless and just want to scream at the top of my lungs to get it back. I'd love to be able to reach him and see where we stand. It really means a lot to me.

Only God knows what will happen....being a finite human being, I really hope he brings my friend back to me. But I wonder, maybe God put him into my life for that small stretch to get me through. I'm very selfish. I want it all and want it forever! Again, must keep the faith and see where God takes me.

Thankfully, I had a dental appointment this week. My dental hygienist, who is also a friend, had no idea what she was in for when she asked that common question, "how are you doing?" She's a gem as she doubles as my therapist! Thank you Fran!

As you can see, I'm just glad January is over hoping that February through December brings so many more blessings than demons.

Sure sign 'spring' is around the corner

2011-01-30T23:25:00.012-05:00

Spring training that is!

I'm usually the one who adores the fact that life waltz's along at a fine pace. Sure, it's usually chaotic, ridiculously busy, a juggling act from dawn to dusk, highlighted with the daily ups and downs which range from bursting into tears sadness to the tears of laughter running down my face. Certainly never a dull moment.

But for me, life does not normally fly by. I love that aspect. For example a week long vacation often feels like 3. It's usually never gone in the blink of an eye. I'm blessed and lucky in that respect.

Though Christmas seems like a million years ago (my vibrant live tree is still up & 1 gift remains for a dear friend), I could not be happier that we are nearing the end of January.

One challenge after another--personally, health-wise, and professionally. Oh, don't worry. The glass is still topped off with the crazy cherry Kool-Aid that everyone is serving up.

Life could be much worse or much better. I like focusing on the much worse and counting my blessings rather than harping on what's missing, lacking, my failures, or where I could be if .....

Right about now is when I perk up because the Cleveland Indians are on their yearly press tour getting out mingling with the fans excited that baseball is just around the corner.

End of this week, the Indians equipment truck leaves for Arizona. Ah! Many people look forward to key points throughout the year.....I celebrate the day the Tribe equipment truck packs up and heads south because that can only mean one thing.

Spring Training.

The arrival of Spring.

Warmer temperatures.

Longer days.

Baseball.

Romance.

Hot dogs and stadium mustard.

Sun tanning.

Patios.

A very happy Danielle.

What an absolutely amazing weekend. 1 of my dearest friends and I have been on target the last couple of months. She had been out of town and we STILL had mental telepathy on what we both wanted to do this weekend. Uncanny. When I told her where I wanted to go she said good, because she already had tickets!! It was like Christmas all over again.

So we trekked to the Lake Erie Monsters Game, which is always fun in itself. This game was extra special because of the friends surrounding me plus 'my' Cleveland Indians were there front and center as part of their Caravan Tour visiting with fans.

Oh my gosh. The place was packed. For those nay-sayers who hate baseball or do not think Cleveland Indians Baseball is alive and well, you must have been living under a rock this week. Fans came out in force to see the Tribe-sters all week long at their various venues and public appearances. I love this team and this game!

So the crew at the Monsters game included: Matt LaPorta, Shin-Soo Choo, Michael Brantley, Tony Sipp, and Manager Manny Acta.

An extra special treat was seeing former co-workers of mine who showed up to shoot the event...and then a 5 minute interview session giving all media access to Manny Acta and Michael Brantley.

(Mark, cameraman at WEWS, one of my former co-workers)

I am about to bust with anticipation of the upcoming season which should be entertaining, exciting, and so magical.

If 'my' Indians can not get me out of the January blue funk, no one and nothing will.

Turn the hourglass, the meter is running. The next few months is my time to get all my ducks in a row. My personal 'spring cleaning' or 'lent' to get back on track. Once baseball season is upon us, that's it folks. I'm gone until the final game of the World Series!

And it's such a wonderful place to be! I hope throughout the season, many of you will join me!

One hell of a year already!

2011-01-10T02:34:00.009-05:00

Really?

I've learned not to question certain things, first and foremost God's plan for me and my loved ones.

And then just roll with it baby....

The first 2 weeks of 2011 have been interesting and challenging to say the very least.

New Year's eve and day were in 'stand by' mode as we waited to hear whether my sister would be coming home from the hospital. We had multiple plans in place to ring in the new year together.
If she came home New Year's Eve, we'd go through as scheduled with our potato dumpling and sauerkraut feast....if she came home before noon New Year's day, we'd try dumplings and sauerkraut....if she came home after noon, we'd gather at Auntie's so we were together and have an alternate dinner.....and if she did not come home New Year's day, we'd go visit her and then still share a meal of some kind together!

Whew! I'm exhausted just reliving that scenario.

My sister wound up coming home New Year's night. We cooked up a hodge podge meal for the rest of us....as she was still not too keen on real food, especially the ethnic food we prepared. While Janice slept, since no one can sleep in the hospital, we carried on and welcomed in the new year together as one big happy family! It was actually an awesome evening.

We also celebrated my youngest niece's birthday....

I can not even believe all the food we prepared and the desserts. Oh, the desserts.

I'm convinced since New Year's resolutions usually do not begin on New Year's day, they are snakebit from the getgo....but it's always ambitious to have goals and set your sights high.

The funniest thing of all is the next day, my sister asked my aunt why we did not save her any dumplings? Trust me. When we wind up making 35 pounds of potatoes, we normally have leftovers, even if for a meal or two!

We've been playing tug-of-war about how many potatoes to make. My youngest niece and I always want to make at least 40 pounds. You can never have too many potato dumplings with sauerkraut and pork, especially since they taste so much better the next day and the day after that...

But, the insanity did not end here.

I overruled myself and wound up going to the Browns-Steelers game. Normally, when it's extremely cold and snowy, I opt for warmer Browns' watching surroundings. Not only was the game over before it began, the weather was typical football weather chasing me home during the 3rd quarter.

As my sister recuperated, she had a minor setback and wound up having another emergency surgery the following weekend. Really?

Though my sister had a rigorous doctor agenda this week, things are gradually settling down.

Finally, the day is here. New Year's dinner round #2 is upon us. The 'real' feast with 35 pounds of potatoes, sauerkraut, and pork. Whew hoo. It's an assembly line. Each person has their own necessary job. I usually wind up with flour in my hair, and everywhere really.

Next year, I think we must re-think my job. I was in charge of grinding the potatoes and 1/2 the time forgot to put the blade in after pouring the potatoes into the cheese cloth. It made for much laughter and happiness!

It takes a little while to re-acquaint ourselves with our assembly line, but we got it going and cranked them out....

Then we teased everyone. Auntie, Sara, and I went to church so everyone had to wait...and wait...and wait!

Finally, the moment had arrived. Our long awaited, postponed traditional New Year's celebration. Well worth the wait. And as usual, wonderful quality family time to kick off the new year. God is good.

Just have to keep saying 'everything happens for a reason....' and 'God knows what he is doing.'

So in the midst of one of the coldest winters on record, many challenges surround us from all sides already....

As Mom always said, we are survivors. God won't toss anything our way we can not handle. I believe.

What does God have in store for 2011?

2011-01-02T01:30:00.003-05:00

Looking back at 2010 still amazes me. Never in a million years did I ever imagine more than half of the shenanigans dancing into my life.

2010 was a mixture of still grieving Mom immensely, which unfortunately will be the lot for the rest of my life....intermixed with more sadness as Uncle Bill passed away....however, as Mom echoes in my head daily, God is good.

God and Mom brought me much happiness from my family and friends, especially old friends who re-entered my life.

My trip to the OBX with my best college friends reassured me that I am loved and am not alone in this world. Definitely just what the doctor ordered, though the wild horses eluded us :(

Uncle Bill actually waited for me to come home before passing away....the day I arrived home and visited him with the hummingbird wind chime I brought home, he knew who I was, got that great smile he always made and thanked me for his gift. I miss him so, but I'm sure nothing compared to how much Auntie misses him.

After handling Mom's funeral just 6 months before, when he passed, my family was great in swinging into action to handle everything for Auntie. Being friends with the funeral director, I immediately called Kevin on his cell phone and set the wheels in motion. Such a wonderful time looking through old pictures as we put picture walls together. Though a sad time, it brought about tons of laughter, which is one of the greatest gifts Uncle Bill always shared with us.

The day of Uncle Bill's funeral, I left the church and saw everyone weeping pointing at the hearse. I couldn't even imagine. As I got closer I realized everyone was half laughing, half crying as a squirrel danced around under the hearse. Uncle Bill always fed the birds and squirrels and this truly was a sign that he was there and would be there with us forever. Even today, as I walk to and from church, I see that same crazy squirrel (Uncle Bill) taunting me!

Cleveland Indians' baseball played a huge role--really saving me on those days I didn't want to be here. I know it's hard for people who don't like baseball to comprehend how I feel about this sport, and more importantly Cleveland Indians' baseball. It's a part of me, my life. My guys pulled me out from the bottom of the well time and time again. Without baseball, I'd be a vine that shrivels up and dies. I guess it is an expensive habit, but seeing it's really the only thing I do, and how it saved my life in 2010, it's well worth the cost. A habit I am not ready to give up. Baseball allowed me to visit my best friend in Tampa, Florida and share a day of baseball with our entire family and close friends in a loge at Progressive Field. When I think back at what makes me who I am and what brings tears of joy to my eyes--family, close friends, singing, and Cleveland Indians' baseball. And when family & friends are intertwined with Cleveland Indians baseball, I'm walking on air!

I re-connected with grade school friends, who once again, gave me a reason to continue onward..... I can not even put into words how Susie, Sheila, Teresa, Johnny, and Sal brought me back to my roots and made me remember what is truly important in life. They were excited to see me and liked me for me--not who I've become, what I do, who I know, what kind of car I drive or even how many pounds I've packed on since our grade school days. I will be ever indebted to all of their friendships and how they grasped me out of oblivion.

What's even more chilling--the wonderful stories every single friend of mine has about my Mom. I never knew that she touched so many people's lives, but she did making me love her even more, if that's even possible, and really giving me the oomph to try and emulate her as much as I can.

There is one friend in particular who really brought me back to life. I always think of the line in "While you were sleeping" which says 'I may have saved your life that day, but you really saved mine....' and that is exactly the way I feel about this wonderful human being. They finally energized me to take down my Christmas decorations May 16, 2010 and start living again....

The summer was magical and nothing I'd ever imagined.....the entire year really one big fantasy dream....

The people I re-connected with and have been able to keep in touch with mind blowing.

I still can not even believe I made a 2nd trip to Tampa to visit my friend Craig but also see the Cleveland Browns' away opener.

An emotional time for me (well, honestly, when wasn't I emotional in 2010?) was Mom's birthday. I remember it as if it were yesterday. My schedule had changed at work for a few days...and when I was not at work I was glued to the television watching the Chilean Miners being rescued --on Mom's birthday. Call me crazy, but I honestly believe Mom had something to do with that miracle. I never put anything past my Mother.

When my family gathered for the 1 year anniversary of Mom's death, she did it to us again. As we sat in Trattoria in Little Italy, a rainbow sat right above our restaurant and the text messages started coming in from friends saying Mom was talking to us all. Thank you Mom!

Winding up the year, yet more baseball stuff as I hit SnowDays and had the most amazing time in my home away from home! I can not believe I had the guts to go down the Batterhorn twice and then skated for the next 3 hours. Again, when baseball, family, and my best friends are involved, I'm happiest.

Mom would always say "God is good." As well as: live life to the fullest....don't worry about what you have no control over....God will always provide.....

Being me, I'm trying to figure out what will happen in 2011 and doubting that it could ever top 2010. But Mom brings me back. I have no clue what God has in store for me or any of us....but you can be sure, it will be one hell of an adventure. And if I put total trust in Him, live life to the fullest following in God and Mom's footsteps, not only will it be as good as 2010 but surpass it at warped speed!

Out with the bad (sick), in with the good (healthy)

2010-12-31T11:00:00.004-05:00

What a whirlwind week between Christmas and the New Year....the lack of sleep and non-stop singing caught up with me as I was down for the count the day after Christmas.

Thank goodness the choir was given the day off because I was voice-less. I'm sure there were many people raising their glasses that I was speechless for a few days (ha ha).

I was very blessed in 2010 with my health. Never missed a day of work and felt pretty good all year long.

The sun and vitamin D can do wonders.....well, my tan has started fading and the tricks Mother Nature is now playing on this woman's body....apparently she's a jokester!

I felt guilty not attending Mass at all even though I'd just sung 4 of them....so I bundled up and attended Mass...went home, took the meds and slept all day long, getting up occasionally for fluids and food.

It's truly amazing what medicine and sleep can do. In just 24 hours, I felt 50 percent better.....made a vow to ride out the cold and hopefully begin the new year healthier. Out with the bad, in with the new.

My sister was not as lucky. She wound up in the hospital on New Year's eve having an emergency appendectomy. Oh my gosh. The joke, though it's never been a real joke, was that there was always someone in the hospital at the holidays and special occiasions when Mom and Uncle Bill were alive. I told you, it's not a joke but a characteristic in my family. And it seems my sister is keeping that tradition alive.

I'm just praying she too is getting the illness out in the old year and will be happy and healthy come 2011!!

Happy New Year everyone! May you and yours be healthy, happy, blessed with lots of joy and serendipities while constantly enveloped by the overwhelming love of family and friends!

Prettiest church in the diocese, especially at Christmas

2010-12-27T03:21:00.006-05:00

I'm partial and quite one-sided when it comes to which church is the prettiest in the city. Hands down, Our Lady of Peace!

Not only are the aesthetics phenomenal, coupled with the Christmas decorations, but add in the heart and soul of the parishioners, and you gain perfection!

Though I had a hard time getting the Christmas spirit this year, it all came together in the end.

I'm not going to lie. Not having Mom or Uncle Bill is horrendous. It's not getting easier, only harder for me.

But this was always our favorite time of the year (still is for me), and by golly, I'm never ever going to let it pass without realizing what the season means and enjoying it to its full extent.

There were many miracles from Heaven this season, especially last week. I still had no tree....and 2 very good friends surprised me by leaving a tree in my front vestibule while I was at work. Shocked. Amazed. Felt like I was in some movie not believing the generosity of their hearts and what they had done for me.

Then my Aunt and Sister put the lights on the tree the following night....

From that moment, the season kicked into high gear and the Christmas Cheer meter was on the rise.

I was a baking fiend cooking dozens and dozens of cookies non-stop for a week. I made our traditional butter balls, pizelles, and gucci daddi's (I honestly have no idea how to spell it, but they are my favorites!).

Many years ago I wrote a poem on how people should act as if everyday is Christmas. I still believe that. Mom, too, was a firm believer in that philosophy which is why we kept a few Christmas knick knacks (the kneeling Santa, a small nativity scene, etc.) out year round.

This year's Christmas letter is the only thing that will be late. I don't know when I will have the time to finish it, but I WILL complete it and will eventually send it out, even if it's actually a New Year's or Valentine's letter!

We kept up all of our traditions including St. Nick, Chrismas Eve at my house, attending Mass together (well, I'm at all of them singing)....spending Christmas all together.....and remembering the reason for the season and enjoying it to the max!

A very merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!

Let the partying commence for the next 365 days!

2010-12-21T03:02:00.008-05:00

Celebrating special occasions comes naturally for me. I welcome any chance to celebrate life, family, and friends! Life is too short to wallow in our self pity or sorrows for too long.

I get my zest for living and knack for party planning from my Mother. Boy do I love her and miss her so. However, for the last 2 birthdays since she's been gone, I've noticed her presence this time of year still making my day special and the holidays turn out just right. I know she is still looking out for all of us down here. I would not still be here were it not for her.

My birthday celebrations began a week before my actual date of birth and continue ....hopefully until I turn the page once again....

I heard from so many wonderful people I'd not heard from in a while, including family and friends and former co-workers.

Let me tell you, Facebook sure pumps up your self esteem on certain occasions. Thank you fb.

Ironically, I re-connected with an old friend the day before my birthday and he has so boosted my spirits. I'm sure he has absolutely no idea how happy he makes me, but it's true!

The day before my birthday I felt like the super model who never got asked to her prom because everyone assumed she had a date. I had no plans except a family dinner on said date.

Once my friends realized I was just sitting at home alone, the email, texts and even phone calls started coming in inviting me to a local neighborhood joint where everyone had gathered, minus the birthday girl.

I had a wonderful time soaking in all the love, laughter, and liveliness.

My family birthday dinner rocked the casbah. Auntie cooked up homemade stuffed cabbage, stuffed peppers, capped off with chocolate cake! My family and dearest friends were on hand (including 'the girls') to help me ease into the next year of my life, which will be THE best year of my life!!!

Vacation ends with a bing, bang, boom, batterhorn

2010-12-13T01:43:00.005-05:00

I have no idea how I do it but usually my vacations feel as if they lasted triple the actuality.

This one did not disappoint.

My vacation ended on a bing, bang, boom, batterhorn.

I hit Progressive Field's SnowDays. Amazing how the Indians transformed 'Jacob's Field' into a winter wonderland consisting of a huge tubing range from the scoreboard down to the infield...the Frozen Mile Skating Rink....a snow fight mound.....blazing fire area to stay warm.....and so much more!

I would have loved to have gone with that special someone or even my nieces and nephew but it was still ok.

I was in my own little dreamland, fairytale surrounded by 'holiday spirit' to finally begin my transformation into the holiday season.

Where else can you skate for hours, which I did, while watching scenes from your favorite Christmas movies or pretend you are in a Danny Kaye-Bing Crosby movie skating around the rink to your favorite holiday songs? Well, SnowDays is the best place to live out your childhood, holiday dreams.

I haven't skated since I was a kid. After once around, I left the rail and buzzed around for the next 2-3 hours! I did get a sore on my right shin but it was sooooo worth it!

What possessed me to try going down the batterhorn, no idea. Not only once, but twice. Terrifying. You feel so secure at the top of the mountain and they let you go to flail helplessly until you reach the bottom.

Yet, I went again. And the sign I should have kept it at one: I lost 2 camera batteries and salvaged my new Avon lipgloss and my pen.

All in all, I'm so excited to have gone alone rather than not at all.

And my time off ended with a bang at the company holiday party at Johnny's Downtown surrounded by good friends, festive music, delicious food, and lots of laughter. Perfect end to a terrific week!

I love shoveling when I don't have to work

2010-12-09T00:22:00.003-05:00

I'm in the midst of a week of vacation. I normally do not get December vacations so this has been a real treat! It's far enough before Christmas so that I can begin preparing and am not in the 'panic mode' overwhelmed with stuff I've yet to do.

I picked one heck of a week to take off. The Blizzard of 2010.

I've not had to do a gosh darn thing outside of the home, so I've stayed barricaded. It's been magnificent. I've accomplished plenty inside, though no one would know it. And from what I've seen and heard, I'm awfully lucky not to have to venture into the tundra with an awful winter storm approaching.

Do you ever take a full day (8 hours) to clean out a room or a desk or even a file cabinet? You feel such a sense of accomplishment. Yet when you look around and see absolutely NOTHING changed in the room in which you were working, your balloon deflates.

That's how I feel. I know I have climbed Mt. Everest. I filed all of 2009 and 2010....I've gathered a dozen or so bags of recycles and shredded papers as well as cans and bottles to be taken to the recycle station, yet visitors entering my home would not know the grandeur of my work!

In the midst of dismantling my files and having them strewn about in piles all over the living room floor, the door bell sounds.

I ran to the front door to find my choir director covered in snow and shivering.

He'd made his way to our neck of the woods not knowing if the holy day Mass would go forward...and since we've been getting snow all day long with nothing shoveled, carved the first pathway up our walk covered in snow.

What would happen over the next 3-4 hours simply amazing --mainly because I did not have to work. I would not have been able to get to work had I been scheduled. Our neighborhood is always the last cleared and our plow guy no where to be found.

What made the next chapter so much fun is not having to stress about getting anywhere.

I got our choir director warm, dry clothes, some hot tea, and we proceeded to call every choir member telling them not to come to our holy day service. The roads impassable and nothing had been shoveled at the church. No one can walk up to the church entrance. It will be interesting to see who shows up, if anyone, especially those die hard parishioners.

Then Matt and I, shovels in hand, proceeded to carve a path from my house around the neighborhood hitting the church rectory, the church parking lot, and more importantly, trying to clear a small path for anyone who may show up for Mass.

I have to tell you, not having a deadline or needing to shovel out of my driveway to get somewhere made all the difference in the world erasing all of the pressure.

We finally made a path and searched high and low for salt.

We then attempted to find and start up the snow blower. What a hoot. I admit I had no idea what I was doing. Thank goodness Matt knew. After overcoming a few hurdles learning the snow blower, he eventually made it all work and we were good to go buzzing around the neighborhood.

I even put a plea on fb asking for anyone with working snow blowers, shovels or plows to head our way since the plow guy was MIA and a few others who normally clear the area had not arrived yet caught in the big snow.....

A December miracle because I was not even cold. Maybe the adrenaline kept me warm and toasty...

Finally, around 9pm, we knocked off having done as much as we could. I got in the house just in time for one of my all time favorite Christmas movies, sipping a delicious hot chocolate with mini marshmallows.

I never realized shoveling snow and being home bound would me 2 of the highlights of my vacation, but so far they are! What a wonderful chunk of time off! Thank you Jesus!

Another new beginning

2010-11-30T23:32:00.005-05:00

There are 3 or 4 times throughout the year, at least, that standout for me as 'new beginnings.' Of course, every day is a new beginning and should be lived as if it were the last.

Advent is upon us.

We just celebrated Thanksgiving, which is always a wonderful day full of family, fun and food. A time to close out the previous year to some extent, be thankful for what God gave us thus far, and pray that the year ahead is filled with so many more of God's blessings.

It did not disappoint. The entire family gathered to rejoice and thank God for each other and his daily miracles.

Colleen brought the dogs, which was reason to exult in itself!

Sunday the Browns WON! Another reason for jubilance! And to boot, my friends and I wound up at Crop for a delicious dinner where Pork Chop Womack was serving up his signature Pork Chops. There were a whole slew of Cleveland Browns on hand to support their fellow player and his endeavor! He also made the delicious peach cobbler.

The 1st day of Advent felt like a bevy of new beginnings on so many levels as we wrap up another year and prepare for, hopefully, a magical future in the coming days.

I personally need a goose every once in a while to get back on track...to pick up the pieces....to motivate an oftentimes numb existence and shock me back to life.

Well, I am thankful that this time of year has arrived and am hopeful that I can learn from previous mistakes made catapulting into the Advent season....which leads me in leaps and bounds to a heavenly new year!

May all of you find yourself immersed in a peace-filled Advent Season only to find the true meaning of Christmas and hopefully carry it with you all year long.

Our night with Guy Fieri & Ben the Hockey Coach

2010-11-15T01:30:00.005-05:00

When I woke up Saturday morning, never had an inkling where the day would lead us.

Saturdays --usually my only day of the week to moderately sleep in, if I'm lucky.

When my girlfriend asked if we all wanted to go to the Food Show, we jumped at the chance. It's become tradition, at least with me.

Mom and I enjoyed all the I-X Center Shows but the Food Show seemed to be our favorite. We'd sit at home and watch so many of those shows on the Food Network night after night. Last year I went and the memories of the fun times Mom and I had came vividly swirling back.

This year, I went with friends in hopes of making new memories and curtailing the sad feelings of Mom's absence.

Boy, did we make some new memories.

We arrived just in time for Guy Fieri's crazy cooking demonstration. He was HI-LARIOUS! The morning show from Q-104 were all on stage dressed up in disco garb stemming from a radio conversation they all had with Guy. They called fans up on stage to assist and taste samplings. One blond woman was totally out of control. We've all been at that stage of drunkenness, though probably not in front of a couple thousand people.

The Fieri show and food show in general did not disappoint. Normally I'm not a wine drinker but sampled some of their fare as well as the delicious foods from around the city, around the world. I revisited the wine slushy stand. We made this last year for Thanksgiving and everyone loved it. Got a few more to make over the holidays.

It was 9pm and the night was still young. So we headed to East 4th and Zocalo for a nice Mexican dinner. Delicious. I love this place.

Afterward, we hit an old stomping ground of ours stemming back at least 15 years --Flannery's.

We used to be in here almost every night. Those days have subsided but always nice to return to your old 'home away from home.'

My girlfriend and I met a most intriguing person at Flannery's. Actually a number of folks we'd never seen before. The first 3 were super nice kids. 2 of them worked for the Bainbridge Fire Department. The other girl is back in school studying. What a hoot. They were hysterical. One of the men spotted a girl he wanted to meet at the other end of the bar. We all chided him to go over there, get the nerve and start talking. My girlfriend even boosted his confidence by reminding him of the Tom Cruise scene in 'Top Gun' where they belt out 'You've lost that loving feeling.' Next thing you know, we are all singing the song at the top of our lungs. Whether he wanted the girl to notice him or not, we were all in her spotlight now.

Another unique individual caught our eye. We all met haphazardly as he struggled to get close enough to the bar to get a beer and we were sitting right at the bar. He was dressed in a suit, which was not the norm for this crowd.

We all got to talking. Found out he was in town for the Milwaukee Admirals vs Lake Erie Monsters games. He was the assistant goal tending coach for the Admirals but assists with most of the teams in this particular league --including the Cincy Cyclones, Niagra Ice Dogs, Nashville Predators. But most impressive about Ben Vanderklok was his love for coaching the little kids during the off season and his excitement surrounding Christmas.

Mind you, it's not Thanksgiving yet. My friend Katie and I want everyone to slow down. The day after Thanksgiving, everything can begin, lights go up, shopping, ready-set-go!

Ben wouldn't mind if Christmas was year round.

I asked if he celebrated The Feast of St. Nicholas. His eyes lit up. He asked if I was Dutch and put my wooden clogs out? He is Dutch and lives in Canada. I told him we have a variation down here in the States. I am and Italian Catholic and celebrate the feast, but we put our stockings up by the fireplace.

Most guys I know (and I'm not saying I know Ben) don't send cards, don't exchange gifts, really don't get into the holiday spirit except to appease their wives and kids. I was digging talking about the Christmas season and traditions with Ben the hockey coach.

Katie and I amazed him. He said he would never be able to hold a conversation such as the one we were all having with some of his female friends up north. Katie and I were telling him about our Cleveland Browns, naming players, who was on the injured list, blah blah blah. His jaw dropped. And then he broke my heart when he asked if the Cleveland Indians' purse was mine. Katie interjected and said, "Danielle is the biggest Cleveland Indians' fan." He shook his head and could not understand.

He can't wrap his arms around major league sports. Totally enjoys minor league, college and high school so much more than the major league fanfare. He asked if I really enjoy the team or just the 'social event' surrounding the games.

I was speechless and then came back to life telling him I adore the game of baseball and watching 'my' Cleveland Indians. I don't go to the games because they are an event. I follow them game to game, win or lose, do or die.

Flannery's had a live band which captivated Ben. He kept wandering up to hear the live music. When the music ended, he wanted to find another place with a live band. Unfortunately, Cleveland was shutting down early this Saturday night. Midnight and Fat Fish was closed, and no other places we passed had anymore live music playing.

We finally landed at The Corner Alley. We were too late to bowl but played a few game of pool. He could not believe that a bar had a bowling alley or a police officer guarding it. He was intrigued by all the bars on E 4th having security. He was also amused by the bride and groom who were enjoying some cocktails in the bar. He alluded to the fact that he's probably be doing something else on his honeymoon rather than sitting in a bar/bowling alley. Finally the bride and groom and their guests did get up to head back to their hotel right across the street.

For a hockey coach who claimed he did not play pool --he lied. Total pool shark. But ya know, we had a blast nonetheless!

I swear, life truly takes us all on journeys that we'd never imagine. I kind of like that. Though I'm quite organized and like to stay on script much of the time, it's those impromptu happenings, those serendipities, those detours which lead us to much of the excitement which enriches our lives more than we ever imagined!

I thank Katie and Monique....Guy Fieri and the Food Show folks....and last but certainly not least, Ben Vanderklok for a fabulous day and memories which will remain with me for a lifetime!

Euphoria

2010-11-09T00:31:00.003-05:00

That's the best word to describe the feeling at Cleveland Browns' Stadium after the 34-14 win over the New England Patriots.

You all know I am a big sports fan. Baseball clearly my true passion, but all in all, I'm a Cleveland sports fan.

I must admit, last year, I hit only one Browns' game due to everything happening with Mom.

Another confession--when it gets really super cold and snowy, I tend to watch the games where it's warm, cozy, and I have have people waiting on my supplying my food and drink!

I've been lucky. This year, the weather has been superb whether they were home or away.

More importantly, win or lose, the games have been exciting until the very last play. The fans do not leave. They stay until the final tick on the clock.

This particular game had everyone jumping out of their skin with anticipation, jubilation, and a euphoric pleasure that seemed to last for over 3 hours.

If it were a Viagra commercial, the doctor would have sent the entire stadium to the emergency room.

Every play had action to cheer for....screaming until the voices were all gone.....and a natural high that would last for days to come.

At the end of the game, a feeling descended on Cleveland Browns' Stadium that has been absent since the Browns came back to Cleveland.

Fans could not stop smiling and were high-fiving everyone and their brother the entire walk up the hill or to wherever their destination lead them.

And what's more important. The Monday after the game was not a normal 'Monday.' It was not 'the Monday after the Browns lost a heart breaker.' It was the Monday after the Browns beat the bejeebers out of the New England Patriots, and before that, creamed the New Orleans Saints!

Our saviors seem to be young Colt McCoy, the Beast Peyton Hillis, and you name it, it's always been a team effort between Cribbs, Massaquoi, Robiskie, Stuckey, awesome Dawson, Steinbach, Thomas, Womack, Haden, Adams...I'm not gonna mention the whole team but it HAS been an entire team effort banding together to make the magic happen.

Ahhh, life is good. There's no place like home!

Who's a pest?

2010-11-05T23:56:00.004-04:00

Do you remember the children's book "Who's a pest?: A Homer Story?"

It was 'An I can read book' by Crosby Newell Bonsall.

I loved to read as a child and would always make Mom angry by saying I was a pest! Even today when folks' joke and say 'Who's there?" I go, "It's just the pest!"

Those days have changed. Even being the English major, I never read and have pretty much forgotten everything I learned in high school and college.

I digress.

This week, I truly had cute (I think they were cute) little fuzzy pests up in the attic.

What an ordeal.

I think we've had them for a while by the ripped up paper bags and worn paper boxes. For all I know they could be nesting warmly in one of the hundreds of stacked boxes.

However, just within the last few weeks I heard what sounded as if it were an animal running on the roof. But the more I listened (usually early in the morning), the more it sounded as if it were just above me which was definitely NOT the roof.

I finally got a hold of a pest agency to come out and look around. The gentleman seemed very knowledgeable of his craft. He surveyed the house, never found an animal in the attic but saw 'signs' something had been there and saw ways he or she could have entered.

We're always leary at having strangers come inside, but I guess for certain tasks, you have to let them in and be trusting.

He gave me the rundown and what he wanted to do: trim the trees first and foremost so that animals did not even have access to the roof, fix the soffits, and as a last resort, put traps.

I'd never dive into this career, but I imagine being a pest control agent could be quite exciting. You never know what animal you are dealing with unless you catch it red handed.

You have to come back to the house every day around the same time to check the traps, the areas where they possibly enter, and see if they've returned.

My pest control guy said he hopes the tree trimming will do the trick, but it's always much more fun trapping the little buggers. Not sure if that's my definition of fun!

The first day he showed up was election day. Once he filled me in on his diagnosis, for the next 30 minutes we stood and spoke about election day, the United States, voting, the constitution and so much more. I was intrigued because he was sharing his beliefs and way of life, which honestly, I'd never heard of before.

At the end of the discussion, I surmised that he adhered to sovereignty. He said he had no debt, no bills, did not have to pay taxes or parking tickets or mortgage, or anything. He also said he was above the current law followed by the USA (which startled me a bit) and shared so much more that he was currently studying in law school.

I just stood there taking it all in trying to figure out how this pest control guy by day, law student by night would ever mix the two careers. He seemed to be in love with both?

I had to focus on the task at hand and hope that he would solve my pest problem.

After about a week of returning, trimming, checking and fixing, I hope he's rectified the situation. I am kind of afraid to return to the scene of the crime alone but one day will have to get the nerve to face my demon pest, who hopefully is in my past.

Mom's hand print still present in my life

2010-11-01T01:21:00.005-04:00

It's been 365 days and counting....since we buried Mom.

We've all lived through an entire year of experiences, events, relationships, fending for ourselves without the matriarch of the family.

I don't believe it will get easier.

I don't believe I personally will ever get over this life-changing circumstance.

That does not mean I have not continued onward.

Mom used to always tell me, 'we are survivors.'

And we were...and I am.

Mom enjoyed life to the fullest and I am sure expects the rest of us to continue that legacy.

The irony of this past weekend and how it played out tells the story.

We celebrated Mass for Mom Saturday and then the entire family gathered for dinner. Mass was beautiful. Behind the scenes up in the choir loft, Mom 'the jokester' had the upper hand as a number of mishaps occurred, though not visible or noticeable to the congregation. My choir director turned to me at one point as we held back the laughter & tears and said 'Your Mom's playing tricks on us today.'

I hope people see that part of her in me. Her eyes lit up a room and so did her smile. She openly loved her God, her family, her friends, and her life.

At dinner, the same fun and frivolity continued....I must say. Sometimes families feud. We all have. But, usually when we all get together, there is much more laughter, strolling down memory lane, and making of new memories than anything else. Just picture 7 people sitting around the table in a Chinese restaurant (that has a turntable on the center of the table) ....and much of the night all talking at the same time telling funny stories...good times!

Mom must have placed her hand on all of us this weekend to lift our spirits and remove our sorrows. I heard from a very dear friend of mine Saturday night. I was surprised to hear from him, yet overjoyed.

I know many adhere to the mantra you should make your own happiness and not rely on others. I am sorry. There are a handful of people in my life who DO make me happy. I get excited just knowing I may see or hear from them. They do bring joy to my life, whether they want to admit it or not. When I talk or see them, I can not remove the smile from my face or the twinkle from my eyes.

Well, that's this friend. And I thank God daily for him. God has truly blessed me.

Sunday much of the same, under Mom's watchful eye. The Browns had a bye week so I figured all right, going to get a lot done AND the Browns can't lose this week! Uh-huh. After singing all the Masses I heard from one of my best girlfriends who I met for lunch.

Then off in search of a bracelet that a friend of mine asked me to buy....he has a necklace for his sister and wanted a matching bracelet. I promised I'd keep my eyes open for the kind he's requesting.

While at the Mall, I got bamboozled to purchase a hair accessory, except the man selling me the accessory spewed compliments the entire time he fussed with my hair. Was he doing it to sell the item? Honestly, I don't think so. Now his tag team partner WAS just trying to close the deal on the purchase. I folded. I made the purchase. It was well worth the 40 minutes of compliments and hair fussing!

And because he detained me so long, I saw the most delicious sunset on my way home. The entire weekend, whole day had Mom's hand print stamped all over it.

Finally, handing out candy to the adorable trick or treaters brought it all to a perfect conclusion. We must have had at least 150 children, all cute and courteous saying please and thank you.

I must admit. As a child, Halloween was an ok holiday. It was safe to trick or treat with your friends....my sister and Mother always made me the greatest costumes....and we'd always make our way to Chaloupka's bakery for lots of free 'old time' candies.

As I got older, both Mom and I really disliked this Hallowed time for some reason. That's why when her funeral fell on Halloween, the irony of it all overwhelmed me. However, what we could never get over is handing out candy, oftentimes, to kids who may not have the easiest of lives. The look in their eyes, the smiles on their faces, and the gratitude in their parents' faces made the entire night so worth it all.

Thank you Mom, for yet another fabulous day. I know you are not physically here but I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I AM still here today because of you. Thank you for that and I love you so very much (I love you more!).

Mom's rainbow strikes again

2010-10-26T23:31:00.003-04:00

One year ago today, Mom met her Maker.

I can not fathom that one year ago Mom was alive. She blew me a kiss, waved and smiled at all of us, even poked fun at my oldest niece, and just a few hours later while resting, while holding my hand and my sister's hand, took her last breath joining God in Heaven.

The first year has been hell. I lost my best friend, my Mother, my companion, the only person who really needed me and loved me more than anyone I've ever encountered.

Every single experience, every single day of my life since then was a 'first.'

Oh, I've had hundreds of people (if not more) give me advice, tell me how I should feel, tell me how my life will progress, even tell me to 'get over it.'

I will never get over this. So to those of you who can't deal with me and how I am now, you get over it!

I have gone through progressions, and ironically, see those same progressions in my Aunt after she lost her husband (our uncle /father figure) back in April.

Just because the phase changes a bit does not mean the feeling inside, depression, emptiness, or downright horror changes.

I do enjoy life. That's one trait I learned from Mom. Live life to the fullest. God is good! Life is good! However, there are never 'good days' or 'bad days.' There are changing hours in the course of a day --the spectrum from being jubilant one moment to bursting into tears sobbing so hard I can't breathe the next, all in a 24-hour span.

I do know Mom is constantly with me. I see tangible signs. But, being with me in spirit is definitely not the same as being with me in person. That's for sure.

I started on the road to recovery in March when a group of wonderful grade school friends reunited and spent an amazing evening catching up.

I was doing very well in April when I communed with my best college friends for a long weekend.

Then May and June were magical. I re-connected with a school buddy who saved me. They may not want to admit it but they are the reason I finally took down my Christmas decorations on May 16, 2010. They gave me the oomph to start working out again and a reason to live.

I adore summer....I visited a dear friend in FLA a few times....I neglected my home and everything to spend quality time with people. It's hard to explain to most but people were/are much more important to me rather than a clean house, a weeded flower bed, or everything really. I just kept saying --one minute Mom was there and the next, she was gone. That's how I regard people now. That's why when I can't spend the time I want with certain people I really care about, I become very saddened. One minute they may be there, but the next they may be gone.

Plus, I did not and still don't have the energy to clean, go through anything in the house, or tackle my 'to do' list.

Unfortunately, the colder weather keeps fading in and out....and my May buddy has since moved on causing my depression to resurface. I'm still lacking energy and the zest to do a gosh darn thing. I am again on a down spiral crashing to the bottom of the well.

All month, I've been quite emotional. I know my family is probably experiencing some kind of reaction and even Mom's very close friends. I mask it very well. I do what I need to do. I give 100 percent at work, at church, with my singing, and everything I undertake. What I falter with and fail at is me, my personal goals. I constantly let myself down.

What does boost me at times is how every day at least one person tells me how much they think of Mom--all different people from all walks of life.

I requested this day off at the beginning of the year hoping to attend Mass and spend time with my family.

I did not really have a clue as to how I'd feel or where I'd be.

Never in a million years did I ever imagine the day Mom would send us.

Yes, it has been bittersweet.

A former co-worker of mine just passed away and her wake was today. I knew it would be difficult but Mom always taught us to pay our last respects so I was not going to let Mom down. I showed up at the funeral home not even thinking who I may see ....thinking I'd pay my respects and be gone after a few minutes.

I arrived and saw one of my best friends in the whole wide world, who greeted me at the door. If that's not Mom's handiwork, I don't know what it is.

The people I saw at Donna's wake boosted my spirits. I know that's quite morbid to say your spirits were boosted at a wake, but they were.

I truly believe Mom was watching over me.

She sent a beautiful thunderstorm, which handcuffed me.

Mom also knows that I adore rainstorms, especially if I don't have to work during them! I got caught in the rain, drenched, and loved every minute of it!

I ran a few errands which I'd been putting off for months --errands that Mom and I used to do together.

I attended Mass with my Aunt and Sister --even did the reading and distributed the wine.

But what was to come, an amazing sight.

While the family gathered at Trattoria in Little Italy, the most beautiful rainbow stretched across the entire sky right above our restaurant. Mom strikes again --as she did on Thanksgiving and once over the summer when I needed her most to show me a sign.

I rushed out and took a picture.

But more importantly, the family and friends who saw the very same rainbow and thought of Mom paralyzed me. I got text messages from dear friends saying 'I just saw the most amazing rainbow and thought of your Mom." I logged onto Facebook sharing our experience and got a slew of friends writing back saying the 1st person they thought of when seeing the rainbow was Mom.

Mom WILL be with me and the rest of my family always and forever. I have faith and have always believed.

I talk to her every day asking for strength.

Mom solved every single problem while she was alive, continues solving my problems from Heaven, and will never cease to amaze me at the countless, tangible signs she sends for all to see.

I love you Mom --a bazillion, catrillion times more!!! xo

Gotta have faith --in God, humankind, yourself

2010-10-25T01:54:00.005-04:00

Mom would razz me because I always saw the good in everyone, but at the same time so proud because she passed on and taught us all that particular character flaw.

There were 3 boys in grade school who were, let's say, mischievous. Yes, that's it. Ok, at times they were downright bad.

However, they were always very nice to me and never wanted anything from me in return (no cheating on tests, nothing like that). I was not intimidated by their antics nor juvenile delinquent acts.

I was always willing to help them and lend a hand. Others in class were amazed that I was not afraid of the terrible three.

I wasn't. In fact, there was one I was kinda sweet on in the second grade. He was cute! (Ha ha, just imagine a 2nd year old saying that--'he's cuuuuuute!')

As they got older their misdemeanor acts turned to felonies, yet I still kept the faith.

1 of them is a great guy. 1 of them I lost touch with, and unfortunately, the third one's history caught up with him and he is no longer with us.

I never ever lost faith in the trio.

Saturday's "Heroes for Northeast Ohio" brought back my faith in humankind (or at least a little of it for a smidge of time). I worked the food drive from a little after it began until the very end.

As usual Northeast Ohio came through again, as they always do. I worked the Bainbridge/Aurora site. The amount of food, coats, clothes, toys, and money gathered during that 6 hour span unbelievable.

First of all, the volunteers who gave of their time spectacular.

Small children walking up literally giving the coat off their back....parents going inside Wal Mart and coming out with bags of items to donate.

The stream of givers constant.

Cars driving up with dozens of coats and bags full of toys for those who have nothing.

I know humans have it in them. Sometimes it's hard for them to pull the trigger, especially if their life is rough. But in the end, usually human kind comes through and does the right thing.

I never really give up on humankind, though at times, certain individuals disappoint.

And again, the constant thread through my entire life: Mom. Mom always taught from the very beginning, "God is good." "Keep the faith." "Never lose faith, especially in God, yourself, others."

And as usual, Mom was right. Let's face it, my Mother was never wrong. Even though we are approaching the one year anniversary of her death, she teaches me a lesson every day and STILL is correct.

As you all know, Mom and I are the biggest Cleveland Indians' fans...all Cleveland, all sports really. Mom NEVER gave up on the Tribe, the Cavs, or the Browns.

As I took in God's warm sunshine Sunday during the Cleveland Browns' game in near 80 degree temperatures, I heard Mom saying 'keep the faith. The Browns WILL pull through and win this game.' And son of a gun, they beat the World Champion New Orleans Saints.

We have and will continue getting mocked, especially when it comes to our sports teams. But, I will NEVER ever give up. I believe and will always believe in the heart and soul of Cleveland Sports.

My hardest task is keeping the faith in myself. I second guess myself all the time. I disappoint myself constantly. I fall short of my goals and expectations and beat myself up worse than anyone. When others treat me like dirt, ignore me, or don't make me a priority, I think that's how I should treat myself. Well, it's not. I need to work on loving myself like God loves me. If others who I hold in very high esteem disappoint, let me down, sadden me, even to the point of tears, I have to shake it off and look within. I need to realize God made me and he did not make S _ _ T! I have to pray to God and ask him for the strength and the faith to endure others' human frailties.

As Mom always said, 'gotta keep the faith Babe!'

One of God's greatest gifts: dogs

2010-10-22T12:06:00.004-04:00

Before non-dog lovers start on me, you can interchange 'dogs' with 'all pets.'

But, I'm going to go back to my first premise because I personally believe that one of God's greatest gifts to humans & the world is the dog.

If you read dog backward, hmmmm, you have god.

My family has had animals including dogs my entire life. We've had cats, birds, mice, hamsters, frogs, fish, you name it, we had it!

One reason I am not a huge cat lover is because our cat was an absolute terror climbing the curtains and attacking our bird! However, my Aunt has always had cats and hers are precious. They even named one of their cats after me, so I do hold a little love in my heart for the furry, purring pet!

All of our animals had character. One of our hamsters would get loose but we always knew where to find it, downstairs in the basement in its special little place.

My Mom was a saint because technically I am allergic to certain breeds of dogs but just love them all so. We'd get a dog and when they got older, after Mom trained them, we had to get rid of a few of them.

One of the dogs we had, a schnoodle, was a good fit but came from a bad breeder and died.

Oh, the stories we have over our entire lives!

Dogs (and all animals really) know when something is going to happen and sense emotions. They may not be able to speak but if you know your dog, they DO speak to you. They can tell if an earthquake or big storm is approaching by their antics --so watch your dogs!

They know if you've had a death in the family and are sad or if there is reason to celebrate.

My favorite dog, Katie, was the absolute best! She was a doll. My sister and Mom got her for my youngest niece but she quickly became 'mine.' I had a special call to get her to come to me....and when she really wanted something, she went to Mom because she knew who was boss and who'd get action!

Oh, I could go on and on with all the wonderful stories about Katie. She endeared herself to the entire family and anyone who met her. Just ask anyone who has looked through the 4 or 5 picture albums of Katie!

When she was a puppy, if you were laying on your stomach on the floor or couch, she'd pop up on you and sit smack dab in the middle of your booty! I can not even believe how small she was when we got her so many years ago! We gave her to Colleen for Christmas....

Dogs love unconditionally. They don't care the mistakes we made, how we look, what we have or don't have. They do sense when something is wrong and come snuggle with us.

My youngest niece has 2 dogs which used to live with us, so I have another special place in my heart for those girls.....but my oldest niece's dog has won me over as well!

About a month ago, little Zoey got sick. It was quite out of character for her but after a huge storm, which blew a bunch of stuff on the floor, she got into a few things she was not supposed to get into. She scared the bejeebers out of all of us. I can honestly say I was on pins and needles for 48 hours on the verge of tears every time I thought of what happened. Finally when I got the word that she was ok and home from the hospital, I just burst into tears of joy.

My friend from Tampa could not believe that I got so attached and emotional over a dog. Well, first, he's a guy and .....well, there's no excuse for anyone not treating a dog (or animal) as part of the family.

The last few weeks of Katie's life were awful. She could not walk and everything was shutting down. I'd carry her outside to try and do her business. I'd carry her everywhere. I hand fed her, if she would even eat. I took her to the vet every single day for them to give her an IV. Finally, they realized she was not going to get better. They really did not know what was happening with her system but could not cure her. She had medical problems, she was getting older and it was probably just her time to meet God.

When she died, we lost a family member, not just a pet. I carried a heavy heart for months. Not only had a dear friend moved out of the state but now my best friend had passed away. There were songs that came on the radio that reminded me of Katie that would make me burst into tears. I think it took about 6 months, at least, before I could listen to and sing this particular song all the way through tear-free.

I do know that Katie (and now Mom) are up in Heaven as my guardian angels. I could not make it through a day were it not for their support and watchful eyes.

All of these memories came flooding back as someone I consider to be a very, very dear friend lost one of his dogs this week. When I heard that he was sad, my heart dropped to the ground. I knew it could have only been one thing causing his sadness. This dog was so precious. What a great, loving animal.

I felt handcuffed to do anything to help. On one hand, I refuse to ever say "I know how you feel" yet I had a slim idea.

I know how I am when I am depressed or saddened. Sometimes you want to be alone, sometimes you need someone to embrace you. And many times you are so beside yourself, you can not even communicate what you need.

I tried contacting him but never got any responses.

My first inkling was to call but then I hung up the phone thinking maybe he does not want calls right now.

I have a way of second guessing myself and never doing the right thing. I don't know if I helped him in anyway with my written thoughts of encouragement. I feel as if I failed as a friend with this crisis. I know that losing a pet is just as traumatic as losing a human friend.

I can only hope that his pooch is guarding over him right now from Heaven taking away some of his grief and that God is taking away the rest of his sadness. And if he needs me, I hope that he knows I am ALWAYS there for him. All he has to do is reach out, and I will be there.

Apple cider makin' time again!

2010-10-18T01:13:00.006-04:00

God has really given me a tremendous life surrounded by family, friends, and the ability to see his miracles in my daily existence.

My weekends are usually jam-packed and entertaining. This one did not disappoint and I was actually quite excited in the days leading up to the festivities.

I did have a full plate but back-timed everything perfectly.

The first main event was attending Jamie and Lori's 5th annual Cider Press Party! Jamie and I go back almost 30 years to our college days. I knew we'd always stay friends. There's just that initial connection which you know will last.

Lori's cooking prowess rules the kingdom. Holy cow. Not only do they make the delicious apple cider with their cider press contraption but Lori makes home made pumpkin soup and was cranking out the fresh apple fritters, which were to die for....

There's never a shortage of tantalizing food and beverage.

I enjoy seeing these two because they are two of the nicest people you could ever meet....and there are usually a handful of other folks from college or that I've met and seen at this bash in years past.

On a more serious note, Jamie and Lori are one of only a few married couple friends who continuously include me and welcome me with open arms. Most of my married friends exclude me. My single friends have boyfriends, girlfriends, or always have to travel in pairs, as Noah advised. My married male friends can't seem to grasp that they really are allowed to have female friends. And many married female friends have moved on. I seem to be odd girl out, and though that's awkward for me at times, it really makes so many others even more uncomfortable.

I thank them from the bottom of my heart. I am so blessed and humbled that God allowed our paths to crisscross and continue meeting up at strategic points, it seems, just when I need that boost and encouragement as do they.

Next stop--meeting my few single friends for an OSU party. Though the outcome was not what we all wanted, it was quite exciting. I really had not been out with these friends for a while...we just hung out, caught up, drank beer (I never drink beer anymore), laughed, and let off some steam.

There had to be hundreds of folks, dozens of big screen tvs, not a parking spot in sight so we all needed to valet. No matter who you were, what you did, where you came from, there was a bond and everyone was there for the very same reason --to watch OSU. It was very cool and you made new friends along the way!

There were a few bittersweet moments. I saw someone I knew and really wanted to chat with....but circumstances did not permit and steered us otherwise. I have to be totally honest. It really sucks when you want to spend more time with someone you adore and it's virtually impossible. It's like being handcuffed, held back, helpless, frustrating to no end.

Fortunately, the folks I had just been with pulled me through, as did my Tampa buddy.

Unfortunately, when nights, days, or moments like this occur, my only outlet is either getting on the treadmill and going miles and miles or blasting the music and sobbing myself to sleep, which is the option I chose this night.

Fortunately, a new day is usually around the corner, and though the sadness is still there sometimes, you gotta press on...I did have something else to look forward to on Sunday. Yes, I was excited to see Colt McCoy QB for the Browns, win or lose. But I was gonna see my niece's dogs and get to play with them all night long! Ah, that's just what we did. We all ordered out for Chinese and played with Zoey and Izzy. Thankfully, they were just what the doctor ordered, for a quick fix at least, after my previous late night emotional distress breakdown.

One of the best birthday gifts Mom gave the world

2010-10-13T23:08:00.006-04:00

Emotion overload. That's the only way I can describe how I feel at this particular moment.

The circuit breaker can not take too much more.

Honestly, it's a good emotional overload.

Today is Mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!

I'm still having a very hard time grappling with the fact that one year ago today, Mom was alive. She was not feeling great, but we just celebrated her tremendous 80th birthday party at the Terrace Club which thrilled her to no end.

She was still talking with me, loving me, my companion and best friend.

I'm not going to sugar coat anything--I miss her so much it hurts. She was my Mother, my best friend, the reason I got up in the morning. She loved me more than anyone ever has, and more than likely, more than anyone ever will. She loved me with my extra poundage, my flaws, my faults and simply did not care about any of those items.

Contrary to what everyone tells me, I will never get over her death and what I am feeling now will never ever diminish.

Compounding the emotional overload is probably the biggest story of the year--the Chilean miners being rescued one by one, successfully.

I have no doubt in my mind that my Mom, Marianne, gave the world one hell of a birthday gift today as she assisted in some small way in making this miracle happen.

I stayed up for over 24 hours straight on my nephew's birthday. I'm not sure why but I did and I remember it as if it were yesterday...

I have stayed up for over 24 hours straight on Mom's birthday. I could not turn the miner rescue off last night and continued watching it to it's completion today.

It's been a wonderful day. Began the day attending Mass for Mom with Auntie. Starting the day off at church sets a tremendous tone for the rest of the day.

A dear friend from college sent me a wonderful poem about someone's first birthday in Heaven. Yes, it made me cry, but it was so beautiful. Thank you Dale.

A different work schedule, more Chilean miner activity.

Then heading home to continue watching the miner rescue as we had Mom's favorite meal from the Academy Tavern.

I can't even fathom the day Mom had. She's with family who've gone before her. She's with friends, people she admires, my dog Katie. Being human and finite, I can not even imagine what's happening in Heaven. But, I know one thing for sure. Mom is healthy, happy, the life of the party as usual. And, I'm sure she's saved me a piece of her birthday cake for when we meet again.

The entire day was perfect from start to finish. It had Mom's hand stamp all over it.

Thank you Mom and Happy Birthday! I love you more!!!!

Adopted teams & adopted families help me cope with my exhaustion

2010-10-11T02:22:00.003-04:00

Be careful what you wish for....

When I was a small girl watching 2 of Mom & my favorite movies: 'Working Girl' with Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford...and then 'Baby Boom' with Diane Keaton, I said: "I want to be like those women."

WRONG!

The last 19 months of being like those women intermixed with a number of true tragedies have taken their toll on me. Literally.

I am suffering from exhaustion. It's not funny, I'm not joking. I'm mentally, emotionally, and more importantly, physically exhausted.

I thank a number of people who have helped me battle through this condition. My Aunt (and Jimmy) and I have spent time together and shared many meals. In fact, I feel as if we're a new food critic team! We've hit Grotto, Menu 6, and Clifton Deli and they get thumbs up (after we've licked the plates & fingers clean!). Thank you Auntie for making sure I keep my strength up!

My 'adopted' baseball team (in light of the fact that my real baseball team is on hiatus), the Tampa Bay Rays, have been exciting to watch. It's helped me and my best friend bond even more....there are times when, even though we are 2000 miles apart, we'll watch the games together! And this past weekend, he kept texting me the score of the Tampa-Texas game since I was not by a television. It was just awesome! I even wore my Evan Longoria t-shirt to work Saturday morning. I'm sure that's what put them over the top and gave them a little luck!

And I was fortunate to spend part of the weekend with one of my 'adopted families.' I don't want to say they are new because I've known Sheila my entire life. But I guess getting to know her family is fresh and new.

I went to school with Sheila's sister...and we all re-connected on facebook over the last 8 or so months. What a treat! I met Sheila's daughters back in March and we immediately hit it off. We all have been friends ever since. They have put a little life back into my step and have truly shown me that there are still people around who care.

Sheila is a fabulous cook. Being around caring friends and eating a delicious meal really helped me start re-charging my battery, especially on this summery weekend in the 80's. Just what the doctor truly ordered.

I'm lucky and blessed to have friends like Sheila....Craig.... as well as my family. I will not mask it or hide it. My emotions are shot. The death of my Mother, my Uncle, other tragedies and life-changing occurrences in my life which began back in March of 2009 are finally taking their toll on me.

Unfortunately, I'm disappointed in a few people as well, which does not help my emotional tumble off the cliff. I know we can't change others...but there are a few folks I'd really like to spend more time with...I thought they were there for me and up until a few months ago, it seemed as if they were. Maybe they are going through hard times too? Who knows? Feeling like you've been pushed to the curb or dumped does not help the state I'm in.

I am my Mother's daughter and will not be defeated. But I am human. I push and push and push myself and so many others come to me for assistance to be their rock. Most of the time, I am. Right now, it's like I'm in quicksand. But soon, I'll be back and better than ever!

Do you like 1 or 2?

2010-10-07T02:05:00.003-04:00

I felt like I was at the eye doctor.

You know that awkward time when she is testing your eye strength and keeps showing you the same letters at varying strengths?

Which is clearer? 1 or 2? Now? Now? Now?

Well, today I had my picture taken for the church directory. What a harrowing experience.

Aside from the fact that I do not think I look good in most pictures and may one day look a little more pleasing if I lost about 75 pounds, it was truly awful.

The photographer did not do anything at all to make me look flattering or the best I could look. In fact, in 2 poses, I almost got whiplash turning my head all the way around so she could 'showcase my long, curly hair.' That's fine and dandy. I may look a little better in a neck brace?!

Then when they take you into their office to let you look at the pictures hoping to make a gold mine off of you is where it gets very interesting!

She tried selling me a whole slew of wallet sized pictures. First of all, I hate the picture. There is absolutely no way on God's green earth I will ever pass them out to my family, friends, or even at Halloween (well, maybe that's a good idea --Id' surely scare the kiddies!).

But I listened to what she had to say. It's very funny how they agree with your choice. The perfect salesperson. You could choose the picture that is atrocious and they'd say, "Ya know, I was going to suggest that one --it's simply fabulous!"

As we went through I believe all 6 pictures she took --sure enough, "1 or 2.....now which one.....ok, which one here?" Finally, I picked the one that was the least offensive, got a frame, and said tally ho!

Saw 'the social network' with a fb re-connection

2010-10-06T01:47:00.001-04:00

I've been very blessed to continue catching up with family and friends even though summer is winding down...

You all know my mantra--life is too short....live each day as if it were your last and cherish your family and friends each and every day.

Quite the irony this past weekend as I took in 'the social network' with a college friend who I re-connected with on facebook. Go figure! It was awesome. And then both of us got home from the movie and the first thing we did simultaneously was log onto facebook.

Creatures of habit I guess.

Seriously, the movie was very entertaining, well directed, written, acted out --pretty much well 'everything!'

Regardless of the drama and story behind how this social media giant came to be, it's a very good tool for re-connecting. That's mainly why I use it.

I do not have enough hours in the day as it is to successfully live my life. I am not going to waste the precious hours I do have by playing games on facebook or any area of the Internet. I do like that I've re-connected with grade school, high school, college friends, and former co-workers.

That aspect quite the serendipity for me!

Unforgettable moment

2010-10-04T01:42:00.002-04:00

I've discussed this before.

Some days I can not recall what I did an hour ago while other memories are unforgettable.

A few weeks ago, the great Doctor Robert J. White passed away at his home in Geneva. Dr. White is known around the world for being one of the best neurosurgeons in the world. He's also known world-wide for being an advisor and doctor to numerous Pontiffs.

We are blessed and lucky to know him as a very humble man who adored Mom, went to my church, attended daily mass, and was never too busy to visit or speak with you.

Growing up, I remember seeing the White clan at church Sunday after Sunday when the kids were growing up. As they grew up, moved, and moved on, Dr. White was still a pillar at daily and weekly mass.

With Mom being the church secretary, he'd speak with her often and took an interest in her health. Both had their strong faith and devotion which anchored their friendship.

One of the all-time greatest moments in my life as reader and Eucharistic Minister was the day I gave Dr. White communion.

The reality of it is that we are all God's children. And Dr. Robert White was as humble and real as they come.

However, to me, he was an icon, a hero. He saved lives. He was not God, but he helped people and oftentimes saved their lives if it was not time for them to see their Maker.

The fact that I was distributing the Body of Christ to one of my heroes brought me to tears and sent chills up and down my spine.

I will never ever forget that moment as long as I live.

Another very distinct honor I had was assisting in the singing at Dr. White's Memorial Service. Mom always told me, "You have a God-given talent. Use it. Those who sing pray twice!" So how could I mess with Mom, her directives, and not use one of my God-given talents.

I was honored and humbled to sing the entire Mass as well as solo Ave Maria during the service. I was even more taken aback when I ran into a longtime competitor after the service who put two and two together and was just gushing at my singing.

Another sign that we all have God-given talents and there is so much more to each person on this earth. Never diminish anyone. God has put us all here for a reason, whether we know why or not.

Every single funeral I sing, I look up to Heaven and pray that those I love dearly and the person who I am honoring can hear my gift to them and are smiling down on me and all of us.

The final home game of the 2010 season

2010-09-30T00:13:00.004-04:00

I can honestly say in convincing fashion, I am not bad luck for 'my' Cleveland Indians!

For a fleeting moment, I thought I was....but after attending the last 7 games in a row and winning the last 6, I'm off the hook!

What a ride! What a whirlwind!

The last week has been surreal with a number of '1sts,' memorable moments, emotional events on and off the field, and downright fun!

Spending the 1st part of my week off with my best friend started the ball rolling.

And all week with 'my' Cleveland Indians --pinch me!

Mom IS channeling through me as each day goes by and I get even more love for the Tribe, skyrocketing interest which I never knew was possible, and such joy from watching them day in and day out.

However, the season is winding down and that sadness approaches.

I know I have one more month of baseball --and it should prove to be the most exciting baseball of the season, but 'my' Indians will not be part of it.

This is the time of the year when I don't get too down because I know once the World Series ends, we have the holidays, and then January to catch up and get everything done before Spring Training revs up. Yes, I said it. January is my 'get into gear baby' because pitchers and catchers report mid February! Whew hoo!

Fitting and wild that the final home game turned into a traditional double header.

The weather was beautiful --no coat, nothing needed!

I hit both games my friends and they were magnificent.

I've seen a bunch of firsts this week including Luke Carlin's 1st homer as an Indian and Vinnie Pestano's 1st MLB save.

But toward the middle of the 2nd game, it all started hitting me. I went through this entire season without Mom physically sitting next to me, though I know she was there.

I so miss her expertise on the game, her love of this national pastime, her pride in Cleveland and her Cleveland Indians, and the 'queen' of Jacob's Field.

I've worn her baseball jacket all week. I have not needed it until now and it was perfect.

I could not get through this night without shedding many tears.

As I glanced around the ballpark and realized that this IS my home away from home with so many memories throughout my entire lifetime....I would have a huge void in my life without baseball and 'my' Cleveland Indians.

I was surrounded by friends. At the beginning of the 2nd game, I ran into a family I'd known almost my entire life and ironically they were just one row over from me.

Even people I did not know --being in the ballpark for the last 6-7 hours, we all bonded.

My usher, Bob and his wife were on hand.

And true fans who just loved the game of baseball and could not pass up seeing the final game, though there was nothing at stake!

Even better, when the Tribe did something extraordinary, I got a text from a great friend of mine, Marc, who shares my love of the game. He made me laugh so many times during the game when I really felt like crying.

At the final out, the flood gates opened.

Everything that had built up over the last 162 games and the last 11 months since Mom has been gone came out in full force and I could not stop crying. The Indians won. It was an exciting season for the true fan. I went through the entire season Mom-less. I would miss my guys over the next 4 months....and so many other thoughts and emotions were slamming together.

Karen, my usher's wife, saw my disposition and ran down to give me a huge hug.

THAT my friends is how lucky Mom and I have been over the years. Baseball, win or lose, has only had positive effects on our lives, has given us very good friends, and has allowed us to make countless memories for the rest of our lives.

I really lost it when the entire team ran out with bags of signed baseballs and started tossing them to the fans who went the distance with them....waving....signing autographs.

Chris Perez, who just had a little baby, closed out the final game. He was the post game interview guest.

After his interview, he got his bag of autographed baseballs, and passed them out to the fans. He was the lone player left on the field yet so appreciative of the fans thanking HIM for a great year that he signed autographs for countless fans until they started turning the ballpark lights out.

I finally had to tear myself away from the ballpark knowing that soon enough, I'd be back, and so would my guardian angel.